WWJD

It is so easy to think about what those letters stand for, but hard to actually do what they stand for. When there is trouble or strife or whatever, it is easier to strike out and be defensive than stop and pray and be offensive about the situation. Isn't it ironic that offensive has two meanings and pronunciations. You can be the one calling the shots or you can be the one that is being unruly. Offensive or offensive, which are you? Sometimes, I'm both. Here's my story:

I got an email the other day. It was from the chairman of my church's preschool school board. She had apparently asked the trustees committee if they could share some space in our youth house. Before this gets any further, I should explain some things. First of all, probably the only thing I can't stand about the United Methodist church is that everything is done by committee. The biggest problem with that is that you have committees that make decisons without consulting other committees. In other words, the left hand has not clue one what the right hand is doing. The other part of that is that everything has to go through a committee, which only meets once a month and could take forever to get a decision. I am not into waiting. Let's just move and get going shall we? The other problem is that the chairman of the school board is married to the chairman of the trustees. That means all she has to do is ask and it's done. Trustees control and manage all the property and inventory of a church. They control what can be done in a building or to a building. Everybody up to speed? Any questions? Raise your hand if yes. Good, on with the story.

The email said they wanted to create a "resource center" in a back room at the youth house. The youth house is for our youth which consists of middle, high, and college age people. We don't have any college age, but we have lots of middle and high school. They want to put in a desk, four book cases, and file cabinets. Not happening. We use that back room for meeting space during Sunday school and on youth night. We have to put anywhere from 10-15 kids plus facilitators in that room. With the stuff they want in there that would leave no room for a meeting space. They want to put an office in there. Call it what you will, but it's an office. When you move in a desk and file cabinets, it becomes an office. It is supposedly for the preschool teachers to use on their breaks to make lesson plans. Full of shit is what she is. Church politics makes me sick, but here we go. Can't we all just get along? Apparently not.

I sent that email to the youth volunteers. Keep in mind that we have no children's director or minister, no youth director or minister, and no Christian education director or minister. We are a group of 5 volunteers doing the best we can with no help. Supposedly, there where several people that wanted to volunteer with the youth, but I'll be damned if anybody has stepped up to do it. I also sent the email to two people that teach youth Sunday school. They have two kids in the program, one in middle school and one in high school. Needless, to say we weren't happy.

Here are our issues:

1. The preschool has slowly but surely started taking over our campus. It is a wonderful program that has shown continual growth since it's inception. I give the credit to that to the director, Candace. She is bright and bubbly and has a great way with people. The growth of the school has led the trustees to renovate a group of apartments that the youth house is part of. They have taken over rooms on the church that had other uses. There was not supposed to be a conflict between the school and church happenings, but that has become null and void. It has taken over a Sunday school classroom, the library, an apartment that was used for our food pantry and homeless ministry. The food pantry and homeless ministry has it's own house now. I moved the elementary and higher level children's and young adult books to our activity building. They had been behind a locked door in a room that belonged to the preschool. Since we used those books quite frequently, it was move them or have a hard time getting to them.
2. When the preschool started, there were two rooms that they were not to enter. One was the choir room. The other was the youth house. Wow, that's pretty nifty how that's happening. The chairman says that children will not be in the youth house. You want to move the preschool books in there. How else are the children going to get the books if they don't go to the bookshelf? I find that a little curious. And why do they need to be there if the teachers are just going to use the room for lesson planning? They aren't going to be using those books to plan with. They have curriculum for that.
3. The youth should not have to share space with cartoon characters on the wall. They worked very hard to make that space their own, not someplace they had to share with preschool children. It gives them a place to come that they feel comfortable in. You cannot get a teenager to talk about anything unless they feel comfortable. We have worked very hard for them to feel comfortable with us. They have worked hard to trust us. Good grief, if we don't fight for them, with them, they won't feel comfortable, but will feel abandoned yet again. When the youth director left several years ago, our associate pastor took over. She knew she had earned their trust when some of the youth picked up her car and moved it. She has transferred to another church now. That was twice they had leaders they cared about, that they trusted, leave them. It has taken time and much effort on both sides to get where we are now.
4. Most of our youth are members of the church. When they enter middle school, they are eligible to enter the confirmation process. After that process they decide if they want to become full members of the church. They have done that. As full members, they deserve the rights and respect that comes along with that. To look them over in favor of one person or group at the church is incomprehensible to me.
5. We have at least three empty offices in the church office. We have the offices of the three missing staff members I mentioned above and the office of our associte pastor that is now empty. They already have desks, bookcases available, and the computers that they want to do lesson plans with. Frankly, I have a lesson plan book that I use. I plan my lessons with my books or curriculum, my plan book, a pencil, and a big eraser. I sat tonight and did three weeks of plans for three kids at different levels for six subjects in about thirty minutes. If they can't do lesson plans for their class unless they have a computer, then shame on them. I was watching Lost while I did it, too. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
6. Without asking, without trying to find out how the space was used, a decision was made. She went into our space without permission and decided that she wanted it. It almost feels like a violation. It's almost like someone broke into their inner sanctum, their safe place. A squatter has come in and it takes cops and lawsuits to get them out. What will it take to erase the feeling of being violated that some of the youth have. She stated that she had been in there and looked at the space and decided how it could best be used. I'm pretty sure that no one gave her permission to make that decison except herself. Oh, yeah, her husband, the chairman of the trustees probably said it was OK.
7. Unless you volunteer with the youth, what gives anyone the right to say what happens with their space? I don't see it as mine. I'm just there to support and listen and be an example for them. I lead a small group lesson with them and listen to what they have to say. This is their place, their refuge. Some of them see it as that. The safe place where nobody is judging, nobody is condemning them. Now they feel threatened that they won't have that anymore.

I was so angry, I fired off an email. I sent it to every email address for every church member that I had. I sent it to all of the volunteers. I very eloquently addressed each of these matters. I can be eloquent when I need to be. I am, after all, a writer. I had mucho positive response. The next day was Sunday and I was a little leery about going to church. Hubby said he would be with me all the way. I started getting reponse emails that night, all positive, except one. I'll get to that in a minute. At church the next morning, I was hugged, patted on the back, and made to feel very good about my letter. I wanted the congregation to know that there was something happening that shouldn't be. It shouldn't have become the big deal that it did.

The one I was talking about was the chairman's response to my letter. She turned it around to make it seem like I was angry at the preschool. No, I was, and still am, angry at her high handedness. At her insinuation that she is in control of our church campus. At her feelings of superiority and seeming authority to come in and violate a place that doesn't belong to her. I am angry that no consideration was given to the use and purpose of a space that they have no knowledge of because they choose not to know. They choose not to know because they do not, and will not, volunteer with the youth. This is about the kids and their place in our church. The place that most of them need to be. The place that most of them have an equal footing with every member there.

After youth on Sunday, and after much reflection on Monday, my next step is prayer. I need to be still and quiet and let God lead me to my next step. I need to open my ears, my heart, my soul to the only voice that matters in any of this. I need to pray for the youth, for myself, for the volunteers. And as much as it hurts my flesh, I need to pray for the chairman and her husband. I need to pray for grace in this matter. I need to think-what would Jesus do?

Ch-Ching

My last trip to the grocery store was a darn good one. I was asked to blog about coupons and how well I do with them. First I'll post about my routine, then I'll post how well I did.

1. Check your stores coupon policy. You can do that online with most of them, or speak to someone in customer service. If you can speak to a manager, even better. Our local grocery store takes two coupons per item. They take one manufacturer's Q and a store Q. That store Q can either be their own store or a competitor's. Find out who they consider competitors.
2. Join and follow coupon blogs. There are several that I follow that save me a ton of money. One of my favs is Pennywise4life.com and is run by my friend Melissa (hey, Melissa!). She links you to other great frugal sights that also save me money. Another of my favs is IHeartPublix.com. These people do most of the work for you and point you in the right direction. Some sites will even preview the upcoming ad for you. It helps determine which coupons you need to be on the look out for.
3. Join and follow coupon sights. Coupons.com is another one of those sights that does the work for you. And those coupons you get in the Sunday paper? Those come on line as well. If you only buy the paper for coupons, like I do, you can even get a preview of the coupons to determine if it's beneficial, or a waste of up to $2.
4. Check the websites and coupon racks of your store and their competitors for coupons. One of our local competitors was offering a $5 off $20 purchase. I don't shop that particular competitor, but I use their Qs. Our local will let you stack those as well as long as you have enough to cover it. For example: If I spent $150, I can use a $10 off $50, a $5 off $20 and another $10 off $50. If I had a Q to cover the remaining $30, I could use it. Already I have $25 off the top, taking my total down to $125.
5. Make a list and stick to it. Qs help us stock up on things that there may not be coupons for, like meat. One of our competitors has a Buy 1, Get 2 Free Q, but it has to be specific to what our store carries. I stock up when I can, but use lots and lots of Qs to offset the cost. If you stick to your list, you save more money.

I sit down twice a week and visit my websites. I usually have a menu ready and know what I'm looking for. If I have to change it a little to fit the sales, I do. Stay on track and stay on budget. I preview the coupons to determine if I need to buy a paper or just download my Qs. I treat it like a game and have a lot of fun. That's key. If you dread it, stop. It isn't doing you any good, and it's bringing you down, which is making you resent it even more. Make it a habit to keep your coupon binder or holder with you at all times. You never know when you'll need it. Here's my last trip to Publix, or at least part of it to get you started.

Pillsbury Crescent rolls 3/$5 I bought 12. I had 10 .50/1 coupons, and 0ne .50/two (manufacturer's coupons). I also had 4 $1/3 (store coupon), and a $5 off the purchase of 20 item Q (store coupon). The 20 item was a mix and match. The rolls were 12 of that 20. We use the rolls to make breakfast casseroles for church.

Mueller's Pasta BOGO I bought six boxes of pasta, three different varieties. They were all $1.39 and I had 2 $1/3 store coupon and 2 50cents off. I paid $1.17 for 6 boxes of pasta.

Progresso Bread Crumbs BOGO I had $1/2 and these were part of $5/20 items Q. I also had another $1/2 Q. One of my Qs was a manufacturer and one was store. They were $1.95 each, and I got paid to take them out of the store.

Progresso Chicken Stock BOGO I had $1/2 store Q and a $1/2 manufacturer Q. These were also part of the $5/20 item coupon. They were $2.59, so I paid, before the $5 Q, .59 for 2. I normally make my own stock, but used a bunch for Italian Wedding Soup, and haven't had a chance to make more.

Muir Glen Organic Diced Tomatoes 2/$3 I had two $1/1 coupons, which brought the price down to .50 each. I also had a $1/2 store Q that brought my cost down to 0. These were also part of the $5/20. As much crock potting as I do, these come in handy. And, they're organic.

Classico Spaghetti Sauce BOGO I had $1/2. I think I had a store $1/2 Q for these as well. They were $2.59, so I paid .59 for 2 jars.

Rubbermaid Produce Saver BOGO These were $4.49. I had a coupon for a free one, and it was BOGO. I paid $0 for 2. I need these as much produce as we get.

I spent $7.85 for all that stuff. Are you seeing a pattern? If it's a BOGO, use a coupon for each item. Stack your store Qs and your manufacturer Q. Some stores double and sometimes triple, but our stores don't. Some states do a Penny item. Check your flyers and your web sites. But, please, always follow the rules. Some people and stores think that you are trying to pull a fast one. Be prepared to inform the cashier of the policy.

I was able to stock up on meat and other items that would have brought my total to over $180 if I hadn't had my coupons. I saved $20 off the top with $10/50 and two $5 coupons. My total I spent was $93.11. Not my best by far, but no great meat coupons this week. Some decent prices on a big ham that we had for dinner tonight. I saved $90.76. Do you see why I coupon? My friends have had bigger savings, but I can usually save more than I spend. Couponing has helped us through lean times and stocked our freezer and pantry for almost nothing most of the time.

There you have it. I hope I have inspired you. If not, visit the sites I linked and you can learn how to save money from them. Happy Qing.

A New Way to Blog

I got a new lap top. I love tax season. I did tons of research, looked at product reviews, compared prices at different stores. So far, I am really happy with my choice. I got a Gateway. Remember Gateways? They're the ones in the cow box.

Gateways were very popular when they came out. I think it's because of the box, but that's just me. The computers they made started to really lack in quality after awhile. But, unlike many companies, they have chosen to improve on their product.

I read reviews for at least four different brands of lap tops, including HP, which is the one that crashed. In defense of the HP, I'm pretty sure it was a virus, and not the HP. Even the reviews of those were not as favorable as the Gateway. I did search different sights, not just one. I also checked reviews from different large office supply stores, and electronice stores. I didn't want to base my decison on one source.

One of the things that I really like about it is the size of the buttons on the keyboard. They seem to be larger than the keys on the old one. I am still getting used to the layout. I'm used to things being in a certain place. When the computer doesn't do what I want it to, I realize that I've pushed the wrong button. I like that it has a full number key pad. You have to push the NumLock key, which I kept forgetting, to make it work. I'm hoping I'll remember now.

I think the neatest feature is the accessory buttons along the top. There are no buttons for the volume, wireless connection, and disconnecting the touch pad. You touch the icon, it lights up, and does whatever the function is. Too cool. I'll try to get pictures posted, which brings me to what I don't like about it.

Windows 7. Our printers are too old (they were new when we got our desk top and the other lap top), Kodak EasyShare won't load completely (again, the new lap top won't support the technology), and we had a heck of a time getting our internet provider downloaded (the discs we had were for an older version, not supported by Windows 7). Apparently, makers of technology assume that everyone has a high speed connection or WiFi. We don't. It took a little bit, but we finally got it done. Now to solve the printer issue. We'll figure that one out somehow.

I'm going to use the photo program that came with the lap top. I need to get my pictures off my memory card and onto the computer. I'm hoping to get a disc drive to put it on, but for now, just the computer. I'll see if I can get a bunch of pictures loaded that I've been wanting to post, but haven't been able to. So much more to do. I still need to download iTunes and Zune for our iPods and MP3. I'm saving that until I get to a high speed connection.

Lots of neat stuff I haven't even messed with yet. Lots of stuff I need to learn about. I'm pretty happy with it so far. I'll keep you updated. I'm gonna go play now. Peace!

Randomness and Tid Bits

My last couple of blogs were a little deep. I was starting to get a little worried about me. All better now, though. I'm sure snarkiness will settle in again, but right now, it's all good. I'm settled in with a cup of warm, spiced chai tea with honey, my iPod plugged in, and all my computer chores and work are done. It's time for bullet points. I think I need a 12 step program for my addiction to them. Do they have one of those? Carrying on...

• Hubby was on a web site today that catalogues conspiracy theories. I think that's frickin' hilarious. There are so many out there. One of the latest is the plane that landed on the Hudson River. Apparently, all the people that saw it and were involved in it faked it. Ok. Whatever floats your boat. I'm pretty sure that the people on that plane that filed out onto the wings and waited for help were in on it somehow. Have you ever seen Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura? I can't remember what channel it comes on, but that is one whacked out show. You spend too much time listening to that, watching it, absorbing it, you start to act like Mel Gibson in his movie Conspiracy Theory. Or just like he acts when he's had a couple of drinks.
• I get a new lap top! I am super excited about that. Our other one took a dive a while back. Hubby bought a McAfee to put on it, and reset it to how it was a year or so ago, but it acts weird now. I've had to make some rules about being on the internet so I don't get a nasty little bug. I can't get on Facebook with it, I can only go to certain websites, and it must wear a condom at all times. Just kidding about the approved websites ;o).
• I have been thinking about starting another blog. Yeah, I know, when do you have time to blog. Right now. Anyway, I would really like to start writing, but I don't think either one of these blogs is where I want to do it. I may add it to this one, or go brand new. I'm not sure yet. I just know I have to get these voices out of my head. You writers out there know what I'm talking about. I have all these people that really want me to tell their stories and I need an outlet before my head explodes. If it provides me a certain amount of exposure and I get published, all the better. If not, oh well.
• I didn't think it would ever happen and I have been very vocal about it. I think in April, when it's time for new free phones, we will add texting to our bill. For a long time I have been opposed to being charged for texting. You use the same technology as a phone call and it costs the phone company maybe half a cent for that text. You are double and overcharged for texting. Any more, though, it just seems the way of the world. I know, don't be a follower is what I preach. I think this time I might have to be the lamb, and not the shepherd. That hurts to admit.
• We still have not heard anything about the job in Texas. Big blog on homeschoolshus, so check it out if you don't know what I'm talking about. I am so conflicted between loving our life and our friends that we have here, but wanting to be closer to my family. I miss being around them. Our relationship with hubby's family can be quite strained sometimes. I don't always understand the way they do things and they have a hard time understanding my wanting the family to be together and do things together. We all live within 30 miles of each other, but can't seem to get together more than 2 or 3 times a year.
• I have really been enjoying cooking lately. I have spread my wings a little and gotten some things from our co-op that I would not ordinarily get. I've been able to stock our freezer a little better by using coupons. They make a huge difference in our grocery bill. Almost every time I go shopping, I can save upwards of $50. Tomorrow, I go and use a ton of coupons. I love it when there's a BOGO. I have two coupons that will allow me to save $15 off the top. The pantry is stocked with crock pot staples, as well as cereal and other things that we normally use and need. We are at the point that we can start donating to our church's food pantry. That is a great feeling.
• I have given up chocolate, sodas, and desserts for Lent. All those things contribute to bad health and the pain in my thumb. We went to dinner last night and I almost ordered the cheesecake. Then I remembered Lent. Oops. I'm hoping by the end of this time it will be easier to give those things up for good. Except the chocolate. That would be like cutting my thumb off and I am not doing that. I know who to lean on for inspiration.

That's about it for now. Life is good. It's time to look at lap tops on the internet. I need to make a list of the features I want and help narrow the search. Peace.

Selling My Soul

It has been one of those days. You know the days. The days where I feel unworthy and not good enough and therefore sink down into a deep depression that just makes me want to sleep the day away. Yeah, that was me. My day started out rough and the ending is kind of bumpy. Thanks in advance for listening to me bitch.

I had a breakfast meeting this morning. It was good company and good food. It was at the house of my Juice Plus upline. I had sent her an email telling her that I am just not cut out for this. I have one customer. I cannot get anyone to commit to a seminar, a webinar, looking at a DVD. Not one damn thing. So, I am all done. It is a great product that I firmly believe in. We will continue to take it and I will lead those that are interested to my friends that are selling. I'm just not doing it anymore. So, anyway, all was well until my upline's upline started in on having a story to tell about the product and how it has changed your present and your future. At the beginning of the meeting she asked me how I was doing with it and I responded that I had hit speed mountains. Not speed bumps, those were too small. While she's telling us her business story and how she makes over $100,000 a year, I started to get angry. It was mixed with heavy doses of frustration. I asked how was I supposed to tell my business story.

My business story consisted of no customers and no one wanting to even come to a presentation. What kind of story was I supposed to tell them about that? That if you work really hard you could make jack shit? Yeah, they want to hear that. Then she told me I was doing things the wrong way. Really? You want to get in my face right now, when I am a woman on the edge, and tell me I'm doing it wrong? Let me tell you where to put your wrong. I'll even draw you a picture. She then proceeded to tell me that I needed to work with my upline more. When the hell am I supposed to do that? In between schooling my kids, running to dance, co-op, and volunteering at church? You find me the time, you sanctimonious bitch, and I'll do it. How about a little help besides telling me I'm doing it wrong. I left. It was all I could do to not burst into angry, frustrated tears and knock her out. I chose the high road for once. Then, as I'm leaving she says, kinda snotty, "It's time to do the mommy thing." I am so much better than that. Just keep walking is what I kept repeating.

When I got home, most of the school work was done. Hubby was home and had taken care of the bible and science. The kids did the rest of their stuff. To unwind just a bit, I signed onto my Facebook. That didn't make it any better. All over was how my friends were earning Swagbucks. Kiss my ass. I have gotten to the point that I think that Swagbucks is a ginormo rip off. My friends are earning left and right while I am barely scraping by. Thank goodness they don't charge you for it. Swagbucks is a search engine that you can earn Swagbucks for searching the internet. My friends don't go directly to any sights any more even if they know the address. I started doing that. The problem is that I could never get to the website I wanted to get to. I have earned a big whopping 9 swagbucks, while my friends are cashing in for gift cards left and right. Hubby got two of those today, but that's my next story.

Apparently, you have to download widgets and toolbars and all kinds of crap to start earning the big bucks. I just am not a free gift card kind of gal I guess. I'm not willing to download all that for the sake of earning a couple of bucks. If you are, bully for you and I hope you are earning lots and lots of money. Earn on, everybody. It is just a big rip off. You shouldn't have to download all that to earn points. So, I'm done. Thing number two today that I have had to wash my hands of.

To top it all off, there was hubby and the big girl. The big girl had a couple of things she had to look up for her language arts. It was a three British coins and what the American equivalent was. I couldn't find it to save my life on the computer. I was so frustrated by this time, I just told her to skip it. It was more than my overloaded brain could take. What did hubby do? He sat down at the computer, searched and earned those two Swagbucks I mentioned earlier, and found what I couldn't. I grabbed a blankie off the bed, a pillow, went out to the couch while they did the big girl's language arts and cried myself to sleep. My frustration level was so high by this point I just couldn't focus. I was snarky and it was best if I just walked away and was by myself for awhile.

I was sure the nap would help. It would have if the baby hadn't brought her lego box out and sifted through it over and over. It would have if the boy hadn't decided to dig through all the pegs for his LiteBrite right next to the couch. It would have if the boy and the baby hadn't started screaming at each other how one was cheating and the other wasn't playing fair. They were in the baby's room for that one, but it carried all the way into the living room. It would have if the TV hadn't kept getting turned up after I would turn it down. It would have if I could have just gotten to sleep for more than about 10 minutes at a time before being rudely interrupted.

Today, I was not willing to sell my soul for a couple of bucks, a gift card, or British coins. My day has consisted of frustration overload. It's almost over. I think I'll go run a nice, hot bubble bath and cry my eyes out like I've been wanting to all day. Thanks for listening and for offering the comforting shoulder I've been needing all day.

The Book of Eli

SPOILER ALERT: If you have not seen the movie and wish to, please do not read this post. I will be discussing parts of the movie and even giving away the ending. This is a discussion about following God or following the bible or both, and examples through the movie will be given. DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW HOW THE MOVIE ENDS OR ANY OTHER INFO.

Hubby and I had a great time on our anniversary. We dropped the kids off at my in laws and went to a movie. We also went to lunch, but the movie was really good. We thought, and hoped, that we were the only ones in the theater. Don't you know that just as the movie started, another couple came in. Spoilers. Speaking of spoilers, I hope you read the first paragraph. This is your last chance to turn around. This is the point of no return.

We saw The Book of Eli. We had seen the advertisements and I had even gone to the website listed on the commercial. Don't do that. It's just a big waste of time. I was hoping for some background or even just a snippet of info I could use to possibly tell me more about the movie. Nope. All it told me was that the character of Eli, played by Denel Washington, had to take a book to a safe place. That book held all the power to restore Earth after it had been devastated by war. I got that from the ads. What I found out was that that book was the bible.

Eli had a bible, but not just any bible. He had the only bible left after they had all been destroyed. After the war, the few that survived decided that God had forsaken them and all bibles needed to be destroyed. They burned them all, except one that was hidden under rubble. The one that Eli was lead to by God. God had spoken to Eli and had given him a task. He was to take the last bible known to man and take it from the east coast, where he was, to the west coast. The trip took him 30 years. Along the way he did many things that weren't right according to the bible, but he was protected and guided by God.

Shortly after the movie begins, Eli comes across a woman who looks to be in trouble. A shopping cart she is pushing has lost a wheel and all of her food, a very scarce commodity, has spilled onto the empty, half destoyed road. Eli tells her partners in crime to come out and show themselves. They are robbers and murderers and would just as soon kill you as have anything else to do with you. After their leader lays his hand on Eli one too many times, Eli says "Touch me again and you won't have a hand." What does the bad guy do? He touches him again. Bad guys are so stupid. That would have been my clue to run, but they're bad guys and they don't know any better. Sure enough, he loses his hand. He yells for his crew to kill Eli, but they all end up dead because he's that good. The guy with the chain saw for a weapon was extremely good, but alas, he, too, loses his head in the end. Eewww! When Eli kills the leader, he seems to cradle him while he runs a knife very slowly into him. It was almost as if he regretted what he was doing, but knew it had to be done. He was comforting the man even as he killed him.

Moving on, Eli comes to a town. He goes into a little shop to have a battery charged. He uses it to charge his iPod of all things. Anyway, he finds himself drawn across the street to a bar. My mother used to say nothing good came out of hanging around in bars, and here is yet another example of that. He just wants his water bottle filled and ends up killing about a dozen men. Really? You pick on Eli, you could end up dead. I won't be picking on him any time soon. In the end, the big boss man of the town, Gary Oldman, sees Eli and "offers" him a place tolive and stay in exchange for his excellent fighting skills. Eli found himself locked in a room, and asked to think about it over night. He was even given the man's "stepdaughter" as a companion for the night. Eli didn't partake, but allowed her to spend the night and offered to share his meal with her. Before they ate, he prayed, giving thanks to God for all of his blessings.

During their discussions that evening, the girl found Eli's book. He didn't have a chance to put it away before she had come into the room. It seems that the new generation, the generation after the war, didn't know how to read. She only knew it was a book and asked Eli to read it to her. He refused. Long story short, he manages to escape from his locked room and the bad guy (BG) is after him. Eli manages to escape from the town with out taking a bullet, but he does manage to kill most of the men after him. The step daughter (SD) follows. It is safer for her to be with Eli than back home. A chase ensues.

There is lots of killing, lots of violence and at one point Eli is shot and SD is taken away. She returns, after using some Eli tricks to escape, to find Eli gone. She finds him walking, bleeding and disoriented, trying to finish his mission. He has given the book to the BG who wants it to control the world. If the people who know nothing about God or His love for us can be tricked into believing he is God, then he would hold all the power over the world. The book is locked and the lock must be picked to be opened. Once it is open, he realizes that the book that was going to give him all the power, is a braille bible. He calls in his "wife", who is blind, and tells her to read it. She refuses and says she doesn't remember how. All of the power he wanted, his lust to control the world, is for nothing.

SD gets Eli to his destination, still bleeding and impossibly close to death. Their destination is Alcatraz. It has been set up with a printing press and the people there are reprinting as many books as they can, teaching people to read and giving them their power back. The one book they need is the bible. Eli has the head of this group sit down with pen and paper and he begins to recite the King James Version, word for word, verse for verse. As he does this, he goes into a trance and talks until the bible is complete. At this point, he looks at his companion and dies. While he is reciting the bible, you realize one thing, probably one of the most important things about the movie. He's blind.

There are subtle clues all through the movie, but if you aren't aware of them, if you don't know ahead of time, you don't pick up on them. I picked up on one and dismissed it almost immediately. Couldn't be, I thought. Throughout the movie, every night for the 30 years of Eli's journey, he read the bible. One reason no one bothered with it was that it was in braille. This movie led to a fantastic discussion about God and paths and all kinds of things while we had lunch.

So much violence, so much killing taking place. But, the only way for Eli to accomplish the task that he has been given, is to be protected by God. So do we live by the word of God or the words in the bible? Aren't the words in the bible the words of God? Here's what hubby and I came up in relation to the movie. Maybe it can be related to life.

God sent Eli on that journey. Because God sent him, Eli was under the mighty hand of God, protected, guided, and loved. Isn't the bible full of stories of following God's way, following His direction, with stumbles along the way? It started in the very beginning with Adam and Eve. They were given one task, and asked to not do one thing. Moses never stepped foot in the promised land. David, annointed by God to the throne, was just as big a sinner, if not bigger, than them all. Eli had trouble with the things that he had done on his journey. He knew that killing was not right, but he needed to live to complete the task. He was protected and guided on his journey. He was shot at point blank range in the stomach and still managed to draw himself up and continue to walk to his journey's end. During parts of the movie, he was shot at and never hit. He was able to recite the bible from memory to add it to the collection. He was able to see, after many years of not having a companion, of not having any one else to depend on, that he needed to be more like the words of the book he was protecting. He needed to think about other's needs. He needed to put the will of God, first and foremost, in front of all things. Even while killing a man, he was able to pray for him. He never picked a fight, but didn't shy away from one. He completed the task set out for him by God. Above all, he followed God.

What does that say about our lives? What does that say about my life? Am I following the words? Or am I listening for God? Can I do both? Is it possible? If you find yourself in a situation, what would you do? Follow the word of God, or the book that has the words of God in them? Is the bible more like guidelines? The conflict is enough to send you over the edge, I think. Here's what I think.

I think that the bible gives us rules to live our every day by. Be kind and considerate of others, but put God first and foremost in your life. With Him by your side in all things, there can be no failure. But, always listen for the words that He has for you. He will never lead you where you don't belong. He may send you on a daunting task, but lean on Him for guidance and wisdom.

That's all I've got for now. I think that's plenty. I've been long winded, but hopefully I have given you something to think about. May God always guide your life with wisdom and love and grace.

Screaming Mimi

I am normally a very generous person. I give of my time, my home, my ears and shoulders, more advice than should be allowed. The one thing, above all that makes me scream when I have to give it, is money. My flesh is not giving when it comes to that. It screams and aches and I get moody and depressed. And if I'm expecting to get something for my money and I don't, good grief.

We were bowling with the youth the other night. It was $1 per game and $1 for shoes. Not a huge expense. The three of us paid $12 to bowl. Three games and shoes for each of us. We took a little extra for food and drinks. We had a new guy show up that was interested in the program. Actually, his mom was interested. He looked bored and like he wanted to be anywhere else but there. Hopefully, though, he'll show up this Sunday when we're back on our regular schedule.

Mom didn't have money. One of our other volunteers paid for the son to bowl. Why would you show up without any money to bowl? I was having a hard time with that. Hubby, on the other hand, paid for her to have shoes and bowl. OK. When he approached me about it, I was leery. There was my flesh putting up a fight. I know in my mind that it was the right thing to do. She may have come to not bowl and just watch. I don't know. All I know is that there went $4.

When we were done bowling, we hadn't bowled as many games as we had all paid for. Hubby said it would compensate for what we paid for mom to bowl. Fine with me. Except when hubby went to check out, the group was owed $14. Apparently, several of us over paid. That's fine, too. We expected to get to bowl more than we did. Instead of taking back our $4, he handed it all to one of the volunteers and said to add it to the youth fund. What? I want my $4. Screaming flesh, screaming flesh. He looks at me with that innocent little look and says, "That's alright, isn't it?"

My first response was a very resounding "Are you out of you f*ing mind?" Not really appropriate for a youth night, so I actually just said through very gritted teeth "No, but since you've already done it, what do you want me to say that doesn't make me look like a bitch?" Yeah, I'm real mature sometimes. Flesh was almost hoarse by this time from all this screaming.

I'm not telling this story to reflect badly upon my hubby's generous nature. In fact, I absolutely think that he did the right thing. I can look at it now and be more than happy about the situation. I can see how petty I was being. But, dude, when it was happening I was so tanked up. I think it's that cycle thing. You know the one. What goes around comes around. Fate, karma, kismet, God making sure that you have learned your lesson. I know which one I'm going with, you can make your own choice.

See, here's the thing. I have never been the most responsible with other people's money. My poor mom. I am so sorry, Mom. You should have slapped me a long time ago for that, but thanks for not making a huge deal out of it. Thanks for letting me learn that huge, ugly lesson. I probably owe my mom about $3,000. One day, I might actually have it to give it to her. I should probably just shut up and start paying her back. Now that I think about it, I should have already done it. I digress yet again.

We have loaned money out to some in laws, who shall remain nameless, but my flesh wants to scream out their names. There was the promise of pay back. If it had been a meaningless some of money, like $50 or so, no big deal. But we are talking hundreds. Hundreds that would have been nice to have back. Hundreds that should have been paid back and left me feeling that their word was worth nothing. Hundreds that made me feel like I was meaningless to them. Hundreds that I will never see, that I need to let go, that doesn't mean as much as I think it does. Hundreds that God used to make me realize that all this hurt I'm carrying around is useless. Hundreds that God used to make me think about the importance of forgiveness and letting go. Hundreds that God used to make me feel humble.

I am letting it go. I am forgiving. I am realizing that if we have $4 and can bring 2 hours of joy to someone, why not? On to the next lesson.