I am normally a very generous person. I give of my time, my home, my ears and shoulders, more advice than should be allowed. The one thing, above all that makes me scream when I have to give it, is money. My flesh is not giving when it comes to that. It screams and aches and I get moody and depressed. And if I'm expecting to get something for my money and I don't, good grief.
We were bowling with the youth the other night. It was $1 per game and $1 for shoes. Not a huge expense. The three of us paid $12 to bowl. Three games and shoes for each of us. We took a little extra for food and drinks. We had a new guy show up that was interested in the program. Actually, his mom was interested. He looked bored and like he wanted to be anywhere else but there. Hopefully, though, he'll show up this Sunday when we're back on our regular schedule.
Mom didn't have money. One of our other volunteers paid for the son to bowl. Why would you show up without any money to bowl? I was having a hard time with that. Hubby, on the other hand, paid for her to have shoes and bowl. OK. When he approached me about it, I was leery. There was my flesh putting up a fight. I know in my mind that it was the right thing to do. She may have come to not bowl and just watch. I don't know. All I know is that there went $4.
When we were done bowling, we hadn't bowled as many games as we had all paid for. Hubby said it would compensate for what we paid for mom to bowl. Fine with me. Except when hubby went to check out, the group was owed $14. Apparently, several of us over paid. That's fine, too. We expected to get to bowl more than we did. Instead of taking back our $4, he handed it all to one of the volunteers and said to add it to the youth fund. What? I want my $4. Screaming flesh, screaming flesh. He looks at me with that innocent little look and says, "That's alright, isn't it?"
My first response was a very resounding "Are you out of you f*ing mind?" Not really appropriate for a youth night, so I actually just said through very gritted teeth "No, but since you've already done it, what do you want me to say that doesn't make me look like a bitch?" Yeah, I'm real mature sometimes. Flesh was almost hoarse by this time from all this screaming.
I'm not telling this story to reflect badly upon my hubby's generous nature. In fact, I absolutely think that he did the right thing. I can look at it now and be more than happy about the situation. I can see how petty I was being. But, dude, when it was happening I was so tanked up. I think it's that cycle thing. You know the one. What goes around comes around. Fate, karma, kismet, God making sure that you have learned your lesson. I know which one I'm going with, you can make your own choice.
See, here's the thing. I have never been the most responsible with other people's money. My poor mom. I am so sorry, Mom. You should have slapped me a long time ago for that, but thanks for not making a huge deal out of it. Thanks for letting me learn that huge, ugly lesson. I probably owe my mom about $3,000. One day, I might actually have it to give it to her. I should probably just shut up and start paying her back. Now that I think about it, I should have already done it. I digress yet again.
We have loaned money out to some in laws, who shall remain nameless, but my flesh wants to scream out their names. There was the promise of pay back. If it had been a meaningless some of money, like $50 or so, no big deal. But we are talking hundreds. Hundreds that would have been nice to have back. Hundreds that should have been paid back and left me feeling that their word was worth nothing. Hundreds that made me feel like I was meaningless to them. Hundreds that I will never see, that I need to let go, that doesn't mean as much as I think it does. Hundreds that God used to make me realize that all this hurt I'm carrying around is useless. Hundreds that God used to make me think about the importance of forgiveness and letting go. Hundreds that God used to make me feel humble.
I am letting it go. I am forgiving. I am realizing that if we have $4 and can bring 2 hours of joy to someone, why not? On to the next lesson.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Allergies and Yeast Infections
This is just a quick post, since I have to get ready for school. I have to print a couple of things for the kids and then we get started. This also isn't the post you think it is. It's about cleaning out our systems.
Our allergies have been going completely haywire. I'm not sure when it happened, it's been so long. When we were going to our chiropractor regularly, we rarely had issues. I am a firm believer that if you are straight, you're body will be healthy. Everything in it's place and a place for everything type of thing. We also have had a few more fast food and junk days than we normally do. All of that has contributed to out of whack systems. Now we need to put them back in place. Here's our quick plan.
Sometimes your allergies can get out of whack because of a discordance in the balance of candida yeast. We all have it, and it's essential to our overall intestinal health. The problem is that when you feed your body junk, it puts junk out. Too much junk, too much candida, too much ick floating through your body can cause an overabundance of cruddy allergies. It's your body fighting to right itself. Hubby, the boy and I are going to do a cleanse.
All that really means is that for two weeks we are going to eliminate all sugar, including fruit, and grains. We do have some red quinoa that we are going to use in place of grains. I am looking at some gluten free side options for the family. It's hard to make that decision since we have never been gluten free. I don't know if the taste is different or even good or bad. The grains aren't going to affect the boy, but the lack of fruit. The boy is my little fruit eater. If it belongs to that food group, he is all over it. We will focus primarily on eating chicken, meat, eggs, nuts and seeds, and vegetables. We will also be taking acidophilus. It's a probiotic that will encourage good bacteria growth instead of crazy bacteria growth. It's also great for upset tummies, or tummies that seem to stay upset. It works the same way as the yogurt they advertise on TV, only it's better for you and not as expensive per serving.
One of the major pros of this is the the boy needs to be eating more eggs anyway. He has a B complex deficiency that presents in his bug bites. When he gets a mosquito bite, they welt up pretty good then get bumpy and crusty. I thought he might be allergic to them until I started doing the research. Today I start making him scrambles eggs for breakfast every day. I wish he would eat them boiled since that is so much easier for me. Sometimes, it isn't about me, I know. Just for a little while, I sure would like it to be, though.
Good bye to candy, cup cakes, and all that tastes good but is horrible for you stuff. I'll miss my rice for a couple of weeks, but hopefully I can get back to it, just not as often. Once we get our bodies back where they need to be, I don't want to throw them too far out. It also means no more sugar in our coffee. I almost can't drink coffee without sugar. We'll see if we can get rid of our caffeine addiction, too. We start next week. I'll keep you posted.
Our allergies have been going completely haywire. I'm not sure when it happened, it's been so long. When we were going to our chiropractor regularly, we rarely had issues. I am a firm believer that if you are straight, you're body will be healthy. Everything in it's place and a place for everything type of thing. We also have had a few more fast food and junk days than we normally do. All of that has contributed to out of whack systems. Now we need to put them back in place. Here's our quick plan.
Sometimes your allergies can get out of whack because of a discordance in the balance of candida yeast. We all have it, and it's essential to our overall intestinal health. The problem is that when you feed your body junk, it puts junk out. Too much junk, too much candida, too much ick floating through your body can cause an overabundance of cruddy allergies. It's your body fighting to right itself. Hubby, the boy and I are going to do a cleanse.
All that really means is that for two weeks we are going to eliminate all sugar, including fruit, and grains. We do have some red quinoa that we are going to use in place of grains. I am looking at some gluten free side options for the family. It's hard to make that decision since we have never been gluten free. I don't know if the taste is different or even good or bad. The grains aren't going to affect the boy, but the lack of fruit. The boy is my little fruit eater. If it belongs to that food group, he is all over it. We will focus primarily on eating chicken, meat, eggs, nuts and seeds, and vegetables. We will also be taking acidophilus. It's a probiotic that will encourage good bacteria growth instead of crazy bacteria growth. It's also great for upset tummies, or tummies that seem to stay upset. It works the same way as the yogurt they advertise on TV, only it's better for you and not as expensive per serving.
One of the major pros of this is the the boy needs to be eating more eggs anyway. He has a B complex deficiency that presents in his bug bites. When he gets a mosquito bite, they welt up pretty good then get bumpy and crusty. I thought he might be allergic to them until I started doing the research. Today I start making him scrambles eggs for breakfast every day. I wish he would eat them boiled since that is so much easier for me. Sometimes, it isn't about me, I know. Just for a little while, I sure would like it to be, though.
Good bye to candy, cup cakes, and all that tastes good but is horrible for you stuff. I'll miss my rice for a couple of weeks, but hopefully I can get back to it, just not as often. Once we get our bodies back where they need to be, I don't want to throw them too far out. It also means no more sugar in our coffee. I almost can't drink coffee without sugar. We'll see if we can get rid of our caffeine addiction, too. We start next week. I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Blech!
The iPod is plugged in, I've gotten a couple new stamps on Wii SPorts Resort, I'm blogging. But, dude, do I ever feel like blech! I think it's because my lap top has bitten the dust. I loved that thing. I used it every day for school this year. Our history curriculum and some of our science is on disc. It has all my iTunes stuff on it and the boy's Zune stuff for his MP3. I just spent two hours waiting for various programs to load and waiting for Norton to not uninstall so I could load a McAfee.
I am not a patient person. People question that when I say it, but it's true. How do you home school your kids if you have no patience? I have patience with my kids, I just don't have any with technology. If you tell me your computer is super fast and efficient, I expect to be able to turn it on and go. I don't want to wait. Push button, and go. I want it to do what I want it to do when I want it to do it.
And what's with people creating viruses so they can crash other people's computers? Really? You don't have anything better to do? You can't take those programming powers and find a cure for cancer? Or come up with some program to eliminate genetic diseases that are rare and deadly? You have to use your abilities to piss other people off and make them not like you very much? You are wasting your talent and are useless. Yeah, go ahead, crash my shit. Wouldn't be the first time, you big loser! Now that I've gotten that off my chest.
Now we wait for the tax refund. We have two accounts that are getting paid off and a lap top to buy. Whatever's left will go in the vacation fund. I really wanted to take that lap top money and buy the four day pass to Disney. Oh, well. At least we get something cool out of it. We'll start looking around to see what deals we can find. I'm not a bells and whistle kind of gal, so I don't need a ton of stuff. Of course, bells and whistles are nice to have if it comes with.
Anybody have a lap top they like? Or know of a good one? We saw a neat little Toshiba at Office Depot last night. The problem is that I'm used to a big honkin' screen and this one had a little screen. That would take some getting used to, but the price was within our range. I could get used to it. As long as it works well and will keep up with us. Wish me luck!
I am not a patient person. People question that when I say it, but it's true. How do you home school your kids if you have no patience? I have patience with my kids, I just don't have any with technology. If you tell me your computer is super fast and efficient, I expect to be able to turn it on and go. I don't want to wait. Push button, and go. I want it to do what I want it to do when I want it to do it.
And what's with people creating viruses so they can crash other people's computers? Really? You don't have anything better to do? You can't take those programming powers and find a cure for cancer? Or come up with some program to eliminate genetic diseases that are rare and deadly? You have to use your abilities to piss other people off and make them not like you very much? You are wasting your talent and are useless. Yeah, go ahead, crash my shit. Wouldn't be the first time, you big loser! Now that I've gotten that off my chest.
Now we wait for the tax refund. We have two accounts that are getting paid off and a lap top to buy. Whatever's left will go in the vacation fund. I really wanted to take that lap top money and buy the four day pass to Disney. Oh, well. At least we get something cool out of it. We'll start looking around to see what deals we can find. I'm not a bells and whistle kind of gal, so I don't need a ton of stuff. Of course, bells and whistles are nice to have if it comes with.
Anybody have a lap top they like? Or know of a good one? We saw a neat little Toshiba at Office Depot last night. The problem is that I'm used to a big honkin' screen and this one had a little screen. That would take some getting used to, but the price was within our range. I could get used to it. As long as it works well and will keep up with us. Wish me luck!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Organization
Ugh! It's that time again. It's time to get things put in a place and not just thrown into a corner or closet or wherever it will fit. I know it has to be done, but I don't want to. Normally, I don't have an issue with it. I just feel so overwhelmed at this point.
I have already cleaned out the baby's closets and drawers. The big girl is at a sleep over and today would be the best time to get her's done. I may have hubby take the other two with him to pick her up. That would give me time to do the boy's clothes. And I wish it were just the clothes. There are all the toys.
The baby is great at spreading her toys all over her room. If I step on one more Polly Pocket shoe or tiny lego or some other sharp, pointy thing that really hurts, I may explode with rage. The shoes used to be made of really soft plastic and they only stuck to your foot and felt uncomfortable. Now they're hard plastic and hurt like the dickens. And when I say her toys are all over her room, I mean every corner, every base board is covered. You can't see it. She has a day bed that sits pretty high off the ground. It scares me when I have to go under her bed to look for stuff. Maybe I should do it when hubby is home so he can help rescue me. Or I'll just tie a rope around my waist and try to pull myself out.
The boy has a huge toy box. His is the bottom bunk of a trundle bed. The whole drawer is super full. I need him to crawl behind it and get all of the toys that have fallen under his bed or out of the drawer. That is a scary thought as well. He also has a tendency to put his clothes in there. I found several socks, no pairs. Single socks that don't match. I'd like to know where the other ones are. No, wait, I take that back. When he starts wearing mismatched pajamas, I send him into the toy box. If he can't find his favorite shirt, into the toy box. The day he falls into another dimension and doesn't come back will be his own fault. I'll do what I can to find the dimension, but really, in a 9 year old's room, there are so many.
I have to say that our closet is the worst. It's the catch everything, not just the catch all. Company's coming, where do I put this? Oh, yeah. The closet is stuffed as full as it's going to get. I need to go through clothes (ugh!), clean out all the trash, and find a place for all the stuff we need to keep. There are some days I don't want to keep any of it. I would just rather get a dumpster and heave it all. It's the commercial where the woman goes to open the closet and everything falls on top of her. Yeah, that's where I'll be. Buried under a huge pile of shit!
I guess instead of griping about it, I just need to get started. Wish me luck!
I have already cleaned out the baby's closets and drawers. The big girl is at a sleep over and today would be the best time to get her's done. I may have hubby take the other two with him to pick her up. That would give me time to do the boy's clothes. And I wish it were just the clothes. There are all the toys.
The baby is great at spreading her toys all over her room. If I step on one more Polly Pocket shoe or tiny lego or some other sharp, pointy thing that really hurts, I may explode with rage. The shoes used to be made of really soft plastic and they only stuck to your foot and felt uncomfortable. Now they're hard plastic and hurt like the dickens. And when I say her toys are all over her room, I mean every corner, every base board is covered. You can't see it. She has a day bed that sits pretty high off the ground. It scares me when I have to go under her bed to look for stuff. Maybe I should do it when hubby is home so he can help rescue me. Or I'll just tie a rope around my waist and try to pull myself out.
The boy has a huge toy box. His is the bottom bunk of a trundle bed. The whole drawer is super full. I need him to crawl behind it and get all of the toys that have fallen under his bed or out of the drawer. That is a scary thought as well. He also has a tendency to put his clothes in there. I found several socks, no pairs. Single socks that don't match. I'd like to know where the other ones are. No, wait, I take that back. When he starts wearing mismatched pajamas, I send him into the toy box. If he can't find his favorite shirt, into the toy box. The day he falls into another dimension and doesn't come back will be his own fault. I'll do what I can to find the dimension, but really, in a 9 year old's room, there are so many.
I have to say that our closet is the worst. It's the catch everything, not just the catch all. Company's coming, where do I put this? Oh, yeah. The closet is stuffed as full as it's going to get. I need to go through clothes (ugh!), clean out all the trash, and find a place for all the stuff we need to keep. There are some days I don't want to keep any of it. I would just rather get a dumpster and heave it all. It's the commercial where the woman goes to open the closet and everything falls on top of her. Yeah, that's where I'll be. Buried under a huge pile of shit!
I guess instead of griping about it, I just need to get started. Wish me luck!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Brrrrrrrr!
This is sort of a foodie post. It is cold here. I don't want to get into it's colder here or there. Cold is in the eye of the beholder and it's cold. When the temps in Florida get into the 20s, it's cold. Are you getting the picture? It is too much for my Hawaiian blood. I need at least mid 70s, I prefer the low 90s with low humidity, but I don't get to special order the weather. When it gets chilly like this, I think people like good, rib sticking, hearty food. I do. So here's what's been on our menu.
Last night we had lentil stew. The two younger ones are not much for it, but hubby, the big grl, and I eat it up. I had never made or eaten lentils until a couple of months ago. I actually made them for a history activity. We had a monk's dinner. I looked at my recipe I had and the one that came in our history curriculum and combined them. One of them called for a can of tomatoes and one called for a small can of green chilies. I didn't have the chilies, but I had a can of diced tomatoes with chilies in them. One recipe called for a small chopped onion and one called for onions and celery. I used the onion and celery and added some chopped carrots. I used most of the spices that one recipe called for, but also added about a third of the garlic and herb seasoning packet that came with the lentils. I probably won't do that again. It was good, but it had a twang I'm not sure if I liked or not. I made corn bread from scratch, but also served it with corn tortillas. I actually prefer the tortillas, but did have a piece of cornbread. With melty butter because it was still hot. Hold on, I need to wipe the drool. I added three boneless, skinless chicken breasts (you could use any chicken or even turkey pieces that you might have), dumped everything in the crock pot with two containers of homemade chicken stock and let it cook all day.
A couple of nights ago we had turkey burgers. We are trying to not eat so much red meat, even thought we just got our pasture fed beef. I just took some ground turkey and spiced it up a little. I let it sit in the fridge and soak up good flavors like fresh garlic and sliced ginger. After a couple of hours I brought it out of the fridge and made burgers out of it. Leave it in the container you have it in and form the patties when you are ready for them. Place the patties directly in your pan or on the grill. They tend to fall apart and get mushy if you put them on a plate. I could have used bread crumbs or cracker crumbs to hold them together better, but I didn't. They were much more filling than a regular burger and were so darn good. Ground turkey is on sale at one of our local grocery stores, so I stocked up a little. I may go back and get three more packages. You can use it for tacos, or burgers, or just about anything else that you use ground beef for. I will say I don't care for it much as meatloaf. Weird I know, but that's me. Maybe if I mixed it with ground beef for meatloaf. There's a thought. I also have a huge turkey thawing out in my sink right now. Hopefully it'll be ready to cook tomorrow. If not, there's always Tuesday. I wonder if it will fit in my crock pot?
Before the turkey burgers, I made chicken tortilla soup. That was a new one for me. I made it Wednesay morning while we were schooling and took a large container with us for lunch. We invited one of hubby's friends to share with us and I brought none home. Hubby and his friend both had two bowls, with hubby cleaning up the boy's as well. It was still warm when we ate it and that made it all the better. That night we had rice for dinner. When I put hubby's dinner together that night for the next day, I put the left over rice in a container, added a generous helping of tortilla soup, and didn't want to give it to him for lunch it looked so good. It didn't take more than 35 minutes to make. I cheated and bought a rotisserie chicken on sale at the grocery store so I didn't have to cook any chicken for it. I had home made broth again, which always adds extra flavor and texture. Once again, I added our good organic garlic and onions and peppers. It was about three hours from the time I made it until we ate it and it had time to soak in all the flavors. I served it with corn tortilla chips and sliced apples, pears, and pineapple. Nice and warm and filling without being heavy.
I think after the turkey, I might make some chili. I have the ground turkey and will mix it with some pasture fed ground beef. I don't like kidney beans, but I might add some garbanzo beans. I'll have to think about that. I don't usually like beans in my chili. Normally it's too hot here for this cold weather food. I do have a great recipe for white chicken chili, but that's not what I'm in the mood for. Some cheese and some crusty bread for dipping. Maybe slather some hot dogs in it a couple of days later with home made french fries. Somebody stop me!
What are some of your favorite cold weather meals? Do you like lots of soups and stews or do you stick to your regular? Or are soups and stews your regular and you do different things when it's cold? As cold as it is, a cup of warm tea, a blanket, slippers, good book, and cuddle time on the couch is what I like. But, a girl's got to eat.
Last night we had lentil stew. The two younger ones are not much for it, but hubby, the big grl, and I eat it up. I had never made or eaten lentils until a couple of months ago. I actually made them for a history activity. We had a monk's dinner. I looked at my recipe I had and the one that came in our history curriculum and combined them. One of them called for a can of tomatoes and one called for a small can of green chilies. I didn't have the chilies, but I had a can of diced tomatoes with chilies in them. One recipe called for a small chopped onion and one called for onions and celery. I used the onion and celery and added some chopped carrots. I used most of the spices that one recipe called for, but also added about a third of the garlic and herb seasoning packet that came with the lentils. I probably won't do that again. It was good, but it had a twang I'm not sure if I liked or not. I made corn bread from scratch, but also served it with corn tortillas. I actually prefer the tortillas, but did have a piece of cornbread. With melty butter because it was still hot. Hold on, I need to wipe the drool. I added three boneless, skinless chicken breasts (you could use any chicken or even turkey pieces that you might have), dumped everything in the crock pot with two containers of homemade chicken stock and let it cook all day.
A couple of nights ago we had turkey burgers. We are trying to not eat so much red meat, even thought we just got our pasture fed beef. I just took some ground turkey and spiced it up a little. I let it sit in the fridge and soak up good flavors like fresh garlic and sliced ginger. After a couple of hours I brought it out of the fridge and made burgers out of it. Leave it in the container you have it in and form the patties when you are ready for them. Place the patties directly in your pan or on the grill. They tend to fall apart and get mushy if you put them on a plate. I could have used bread crumbs or cracker crumbs to hold them together better, but I didn't. They were much more filling than a regular burger and were so darn good. Ground turkey is on sale at one of our local grocery stores, so I stocked up a little. I may go back and get three more packages. You can use it for tacos, or burgers, or just about anything else that you use ground beef for. I will say I don't care for it much as meatloaf. Weird I know, but that's me. Maybe if I mixed it with ground beef for meatloaf. There's a thought. I also have a huge turkey thawing out in my sink right now. Hopefully it'll be ready to cook tomorrow. If not, there's always Tuesday. I wonder if it will fit in my crock pot?
Before the turkey burgers, I made chicken tortilla soup. That was a new one for me. I made it Wednesay morning while we were schooling and took a large container with us for lunch. We invited one of hubby's friends to share with us and I brought none home. Hubby and his friend both had two bowls, with hubby cleaning up the boy's as well. It was still warm when we ate it and that made it all the better. That night we had rice for dinner. When I put hubby's dinner together that night for the next day, I put the left over rice in a container, added a generous helping of tortilla soup, and didn't want to give it to him for lunch it looked so good. It didn't take more than 35 minutes to make. I cheated and bought a rotisserie chicken on sale at the grocery store so I didn't have to cook any chicken for it. I had home made broth again, which always adds extra flavor and texture. Once again, I added our good organic garlic and onions and peppers. It was about three hours from the time I made it until we ate it and it had time to soak in all the flavors. I served it with corn tortilla chips and sliced apples, pears, and pineapple. Nice and warm and filling without being heavy.
I think after the turkey, I might make some chili. I have the ground turkey and will mix it with some pasture fed ground beef. I don't like kidney beans, but I might add some garbanzo beans. I'll have to think about that. I don't usually like beans in my chili. Normally it's too hot here for this cold weather food. I do have a great recipe for white chicken chili, but that's not what I'm in the mood for. Some cheese and some crusty bread for dipping. Maybe slather some hot dogs in it a couple of days later with home made french fries. Somebody stop me!
What are some of your favorite cold weather meals? Do you like lots of soups and stews or do you stick to your regular? Or are soups and stews your regular and you do different things when it's cold? As cold as it is, a cup of warm tea, a blanket, slippers, good book, and cuddle time on the couch is what I like. But, a girl's got to eat.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Up All Night
Insomnia has plagues me for years. It's like that friend that annoys you. You know the one. Great company for the first hour or two then you're ready for a break? Lately, I can't get insomnia to go home. I tell it to go somewhere else, you don't have to go home. Just get away from me. Not working.
I had a friend tell me just wait until I start the "change". I can't stand that. It's bad enough now. I need encouragement and comfort, not a slap in the face. And I think I'm already "changing". I'm always hot, too, and then there comes that comment again. I'll show you waiting for change. And snarky does not even come close some days. I try very hard to not take it out on my kids and hubby. It's not really their fault. Sometimes it is. Hubby and I got in a fight shortly after we were married while we doing dishes. My comment was "Will you grow a brain?" I know, not nice. That's how I feel some days. Can everyone just grow a brain?
When I lived in Vegas, insomnia wasn't that big of a deal. I still had it, there were just more options when I had it. I could just throw some pants on, hair in a scrunchy and off to the casino up the street. Or the jiffy store. Or really anywhere else. Even WalMart had slot machines and video poker. Not much actually closed in that town. I would pump $10 in a video poker machine, have a drink or two, then go home when my money was gone. Some nights I won a decent amount of money and cashed out. Most nights, I lost it and went home $10 poorer.
When I lived in Austin, I would go for road trips. That has always been a good way to wind down. I would just drive around for an hour or so. I would explore some areas that I had visited only a couple of times before but wasn't really familiar with. I would find the back roads or short cuts to wherever. Gas was cheaper then, too. At 99 cents a gallon or cheaper, I could afford to drive a little. After about an hour I would head home and go to bed. I loved that town. I was incredibly lonely most of the time, but the town itself was amazing.
This was certainly not the bustling metropolis it is now when hubby and I moved here almost 15 years ago. Most of the stores and restaurants that we have now weren't even here then. There was no casino, no 24 hour stores. Most of the streets would roll up before the sun went down. There wasn't much to do but sit up and flip through channels until I fell asleep. That's pretty much what I do now. Only I also have the option to blog (doing that now), send emails (did that last night), facebook (will probably do that later). I really just want to go to sleep.
Here's the plan for tomorrow. No caffeine except that first cup of coffee in the morning, no caffeine containing foods or drinks after 2 pm, and no naps. The nap part is going to kill me. We have youth tomorrow night and I like a nap before we tackle that. Wish me luck and happy dreams.
I had a friend tell me just wait until I start the "change". I can't stand that. It's bad enough now. I need encouragement and comfort, not a slap in the face. And I think I'm already "changing". I'm always hot, too, and then there comes that comment again. I'll show you waiting for change. And snarky does not even come close some days. I try very hard to not take it out on my kids and hubby. It's not really their fault. Sometimes it is. Hubby and I got in a fight shortly after we were married while we doing dishes. My comment was "Will you grow a brain?" I know, not nice. That's how I feel some days. Can everyone just grow a brain?
When I lived in Vegas, insomnia wasn't that big of a deal. I still had it, there were just more options when I had it. I could just throw some pants on, hair in a scrunchy and off to the casino up the street. Or the jiffy store. Or really anywhere else. Even WalMart had slot machines and video poker. Not much actually closed in that town. I would pump $10 in a video poker machine, have a drink or two, then go home when my money was gone. Some nights I won a decent amount of money and cashed out. Most nights, I lost it and went home $10 poorer.
When I lived in Austin, I would go for road trips. That has always been a good way to wind down. I would just drive around for an hour or so. I would explore some areas that I had visited only a couple of times before but wasn't really familiar with. I would find the back roads or short cuts to wherever. Gas was cheaper then, too. At 99 cents a gallon or cheaper, I could afford to drive a little. After about an hour I would head home and go to bed. I loved that town. I was incredibly lonely most of the time, but the town itself was amazing.
This was certainly not the bustling metropolis it is now when hubby and I moved here almost 15 years ago. Most of the stores and restaurants that we have now weren't even here then. There was no casino, no 24 hour stores. Most of the streets would roll up before the sun went down. There wasn't much to do but sit up and flip through channels until I fell asleep. That's pretty much what I do now. Only I also have the option to blog (doing that now), send emails (did that last night), facebook (will probably do that later). I really just want to go to sleep.
Here's the plan for tomorrow. No caffeine except that first cup of coffee in the morning, no caffeine containing foods or drinks after 2 pm, and no naps. The nap part is going to kill me. We have youth tomorrow night and I like a nap before we tackle that. Wish me luck and happy dreams.
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