Stupid People Piss Me Off

I should probably just shut up, but good luck with that. I posted on my social site that my mantra for the season is "You're argument is invalid because you're stupid". Yea, I say and think that A LOT! For example:

Mt friend KS posted a pic of a shirt that poked fun of the whole end of the world thing. The last line said that Mayans were extinct. Honey, it was on from there. One of her "friends" posted that the Mayans were not extinct, as she was one of them. Um, ok it was a joke. She went on and on. She posted links. People made fun of her. People tried to tell her it was just a joke. And she was adamant that Mayans still existed because she was one of them. She was mixed, but still Mayan. Somehow, corn got brought into the conversation. I offered to bring popcorn to the show because it was getting good. That was soooo the right thing to do. Over 100 comments later, she apologized for hijacking the post and we all went on with our lives. Can we not take life so seriously? Life will get serious when we least expect it. Chill. And stop being stupid.

My hopefully soon-to-be-ex SIL is as stupid as they come. I have known that since the beginning, but it took years for everyone else to catch up. She is dating. Although the divorce is not final yet, she has a new man. Her husband's best friend. Also, he is the soon-to-be-ex husband of her now former best friend. Ow, I think my head hurts. She has turned her kids against their father by having him come get his stuff, including the dog, then telling the kids that he just came and got the stuff that meant something to them because he's mean. She will get hers one day. Wish I could be there. There is a special place in hell for people that manipulate their children. Stupid ass.  

During a conversation that hubby was having with the aforementioned brother, the brother asked if we were going to be at the parents' house for Christmas. Really?!? Not so much, but thanks for asking. Even MIL asked hubby if we were going to be there. How about I would rather get my foot caught in a bear trap and gnaw my own foot off to get out of it? Hubby politely (because he's so much better than I am. Really, he is. I would have laughed out loud and said something HUGELY inappropriate and stupid) told both of them no, but thank you. The stress of the last holiday season and all of the hard feelings that are still there need to be reconciled before we can even think about spending what should be a joyous time together.

People are jumping on the gun control band wagon. I guess if you're going to jump on a band wagon, you might as well play drums. Play it loud enough, people won't be able to hear reason. We don't need more gun control. We need to stop giving the spotlight to people that shoot up malls and schools and movie theaters and whatever else. Report the news, give some FACTS, then let it go. Too many want to be famous and will go out like that if they have to. Too many see the reports and decide, in their delusional fog, that that seems like a great way to go. Guns didn't go into that school and pull their triggers. A man who had serious mental problems did that. And it doesn't matter that I don't need an assault weapon to hunt with. They aren't made for that. They're made for assaulting, stupid. Good thing that's correct grammar or this blog could be taken the wrong way. It's not about the guns, it's about the people that use them for stupid things.

Can we talk about how the holidays brings out the stupid in people? You've dealt with it. Hell, we've all been stupid at the holidays. My kids get 1 present from each set of grandparents, 2 from hubby and me, and 1 from Santa. Nothing over the top. Nothing that costs more than about $30. Maybe $40, depending on how good Santa is to them. He has lots of overhead, you know, with all those elves. I cannot even imagine what it costs to feed those reindeer.

We've all been stupid. Hell, I'm there every day. Stupid is as stupid does. I just try to remove myself before it gets filmed. I could talk about how stupid that is, but that is a whole blog in and of itself.

Low key this year for us. I miss my mom. Time doesn't make it better. That's just stupid. It just makes it easier to pretend it didn't happen. Grief is something else, I'll tell you what. Enjoy your holidays. Hug your kids. Spend time having fun and making memories that bring warmth to the heart. That is NEVER stupid.

Shhhhhh...

I'm still here. It's the holidays and I need some quiet time. Give me a bit and I'll be back.

I Got nothin', Well, a Little Something...

I need to blog, but I just don't know what to blog about. Even my list is boring. There's some political stuff (I canNOT believe that we have to relive all this crap for another 4 years. Really, people? He fucked us the first 4 years with no kiss, and here we go again. If this keeps up, I'm going on the dole. Then the bitches can pay for me!), some school stuff (I have ideas for field trips, it's just getting off my tuckus to make some calls and get it done.), some family stuff (we really are pretty boring. Good grief!), and some random stuff (cricket, cricket, cricket).

I just want to write. I have tons of stuff to keep me occupied, but I'm done with being occupied. I have all these characters and story lines. Sometimes the characters won't get out of my head until I write them down. I started a notebook to put them in. That way I don't lose track and I can get them out of my head. November is write a page a day month or write 1000 words a day or some kind of writer's month. It was also blog every day month, but that didn't happen either. I also haven't had much time for me. We were sick and now we have to play catch up. I know where we need to be by the time we break for Christmas, and by gosh, by golly, we're going to be there. But that cramps my writing time.

I just bought a Ninja. Not the dress in black, Japanese bad ass Ninja, although that would be cool. The food processing, smoothie making, and in this case, dough making Ninja. I don't plan on making a lot of dough and I have a big stand mixer for that anyway. I do like some homemade pretzels, the soft kind with all the salt and a little bit of mustard. Crackers are fun and tasty. They don't last, but they are good. I'm hoping for smoothies that will boost my energy. Hubby is excited about that, too. I have a friend that loves hers. It's my Christmas present, but I'm opening that bad boy today. Look, a spark of interest.

I have to take a nap EVERY DAY. I am old. It gets to be about 2 o'clock and my eyes just want to slam shut. Not good when you're driving, but it keeps me on my toes. It's that whole depression thing. The holidays normally suck for me because I can't be with my family. This year is super sucky. A cave to hide in until it's over would be much appreciated. We finally got the Christmas stuff out, but it took us another 3-4 days to open the tubs and get it done. The tree that I put in our room didn't get decorated for another couple of days. Depression is for the birds.

I think it would have been amazing to win the powerball. Can you imagine the size of the shoe room I would build? Can you imagine the shoes I could buy to fill that bad boy up? Amazing!! I think a Hawaiian/European vacation would be in order. I want to go to Hawaii, Fiji, Tahiti, Tonga, Germany, Italy, Spain, Portugal, England, Ireland, Scotland, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, and I know some of those aren't in Hawaii/Europe, but if I'm planning a vacation, I am going to plan a VACATION!! And somewhere in there I may help some of the poor people, because I'm nice like that.

Reality television is the downfall of our society. Multiple wives, rich housewives that have no idea about the real world, redneck beauty queens, redneck Muslims (what the hell?), and now Amish that "keep the peace" in their towns. Shut up!! Go back into the backwards hole you crawled out of. We need to take our television programming back. There is no way Sugar Woowoo should be such a huge hit. It's the train wreck mentality. It's happening and is so gross you can't look away. Yeah, yeah I can. I just don't watch.

See, it wasn't much, but it was a little something. I'm going to make some oatmeal and get my day going. And bonus, I feel a little better. I love it when that happens!     

Death Sucks

I interrupt this season of thankfulness to rid myself of angst. I am going to be as real as I can because I need to be. Death sucks ass. I don't mean for the ones who died, I mean for the ones left behind. I do believe that I will go to Heaven when I die, but this blog isn't about my spiritual side. I firmly believe that a relationship with Jesus Christ is how you get to Heaven. I firmly believe that many of my relatives had that and I will see them again. This blog is about my physical side. The one that got left behind and now has what feels like a big rock sitting in my heart. The one that is this close to tears every day, just waiting for that one thing to set me off. The side that prays when I do go off, people won't look at me like I've lost my mind.

The grief is overwhelming at times. It just swamps me, like a tidal wave. Have you ever been sucked down by a wave? I have. The summer I was 10 we went to Hawaii. My cousins taught me to body surf. They also said not to get too comfortable on the wave. I did, and it sucked me down. Straight down. I had no idea which way was up or which way was down. I couldn't see anything but churning water and sand, and none of it clearly. I tumbled and bumbled and I didn't know how to get out of the wave. When I thought I my lungs would explode, the wave spit me out. I skidded up the beach, sand scraping me, reminding me not to get too comfortable again. That's how grief is. It sucks you in and you can't breathe because of it. Then, when you can't catch your breath, it spits you out onto the beach and scrapes you and makes you raw and buries itself in places you didn't even know you had.

I hate it. I hate that my mom is gone. I hate that my kids didn't have more time with her. I hate that it's Thanksgiving and I can't call her to talk about our meal. I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT!!

I have several friends that have recently lost loved ones. Fathers, grandmothers, great aunts that were like grandmothers, and a son. We all grieve differently. For me, I feel like if I start, I may not stop. Some days I just want a quiet house, a bubble bath, and some serious crying time. I need to purge, but I don't do that well with other people. Truth be told, even though I have cried in front of and with my children, I'm scared if they see me like that, it would scare them. My heart aches for my friends and what they must be feeling. I wish that they never had to go through this.

Being human, I know that what we miss is the physical. We miss the voice and the touches. I miss the sly remarks and the twinkle of trouble in my mom's eye. I miss her laugh. I miss her hugs. I miss her. This side of me wants her back! This side of me wants to kick Mom's doctors in the ass. This side of me wants everyone to shut up about how she's in a better place. I know she is, that isn't the problem. The problem is that I don't want her there. I want her here! But I know I can't have her here.

I am thankful for my blessings. I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband, loving children, and a nice home. I'm thankful that we will have a special meal together that was prepared by all the hands in this home. I am thankful. But, I have this other side...  

Suzy Freakin' Homemaker

That bitch pisses me off. Happy all the time, making people smile, creating things with the wave of her magic wand. Wait, maybe that's a fairy godmother. Anyway, I think I'm turning in to her. I think I already did.

I was going through the Thanksgiving menu, trying to figure what we needed, what I wanted, where the hell am I going to put it all. Then there was the great coupon hunt for groceries. I pulled all the recipes I'll be using. I planned for the homemade stuff. Well, here we go.

My niece and nephew are coming over for a few days during the Thanksgiving break. I figure sandwiches are cheap. I did pick up some bread that's not nearly as healthy for you as what we normally buy, but I didn't want to freak them out too much. I did make mayo. It is so easy. A little egg yolk, some mustard and a dash of salt. Mix that together then start adding oil. I used a combo of walnut and olive. So stinking good. I'm buying good for you lunchmeat because the nitrates/nitrites in lunchmeat will kill you. Literally. I'm balancing not so good healthy bread with great for you other stuff. Hello, Suzy.

Well, since you only use yolks for mayo, I had 6 whites staring at me, and I don't mean the kiddos. So I made meringue cookies. All you need for that is egg whites and sugar. There is another recipe that adds vinegar and chopped nuts. I didn't use that one, but I did add cocoa powder to make chocolate cookies. And I used sugar. And I ate about 6 of them. They are so good. I'm paying for it today. The kids would have eaten them all yesterday if I had let them. Hubby, too, when he came home. Suzy strikes again.

I'm making cream of mushroom soup. We're having broccoli rice casserole. You have to have cream of something soup and cheese. I planned out when I need to have it done, how much I need, and how much I'm going to make because it will be dinner one night. Probably Tuesday or Thursday. Score one for Suzy.

The kids have decided they want to help make desserts for our meal. The baby wants to make a chocolate pie. So what did I find yesterday? A chocolate pie recipe. My niece will help if she wants, but poor thing won't get to eat any. It's for our Thanksgiving meal and she won't be here for that. The big girl is going over the IL's to learn how to make an apple pie. She won't get to eat it until our meal. Hubby brought home a recipe and we're swapping out the yuck for better for you. Oh, Suzy, look at you go.

The boy is making a pumpkin pie. I have a schedule for that, too. I have to process pumpkins for that. I have 3 pie pumpkins sitting on my counter. They'll get processed on Monday morning. By Monday afternoon, I'm hoping to make pumpkin cookies with all the kids. They'll get to eat those, thankfully. I don't have Thanksgiving cookie cutters, but I do have Christmas, so that's what we'll use. Suzy seems to be slipping just a little.

The turkey has to get brined. Have you ever brined your turkey? It makes it tender and juicy and you almost can't screw it up from there. That gets done late Monday evening. Wednesday that bad boy comes out and gets rinsed off and is ready for cooking. We stuff our turkey. Yeah, I do everything but bake the bread and grow the veggies. Well, some of the veggies. I use ciabatta bread. So lovely. Suzy is back at it.

I'm making veggie stock on Sunday. I need stock for the stuffing, broccoli rice casserole, brussel sprouts, and gravy. By Friday, I'll be making turkey stock. Suzy may need comfy shoes.

Cranberry sauce. I fogot to add cranberry sauce to the mix. If you have never made your own, you should try it. Super simple, super easy. I can do that the night before and it'll be nice and set come meal time. If I don't eat it all before then. I may have to redo my schedule. Suzy officially deserves a massage.

I'm not bragging, I promise. I'm just trying to get things right in my head. Why do I do this to myself? Because I'm Suzy Homemaker and I love it. I never knew I would. I was always too independent to be tied to the kitchen. Really, it's one of my favorite places to be. I'm a throwback, I guess. It's hard to do all this with the amount of time we're gone, but it's worth it in the end. I can't imagine doing it any other way. I love the comments: You're home all day. You have time to do that. Guess again. My friends say:You're never home. When do you have time to do that? Because I'm Suzy Freakin' Homemaker and that's what I do.

      

Season of Suck Ass

It's the holiday season!! Fucking great. I hate the holidays. Actually, I hate what comes along with the holidays. Families pulling this way and that way. Look at me, no look over here. Jealousy and trying to keep up with the rest of the world. Screw that. After the heated discussions of the last holiday season, I can say I had the best Thanksgiving and Christmas in many years last year. This year will suck all over again.

Bis Sis said she is going to miss Mermie. Oh my God, me, too. She said they used to plan their menu together. Us, too. We would talk on the phone for at least an hour talking about what sounded good this year. This is what I'm doing different, these are the standards that we're still having after all these years. For many years, I would make broccoli rice casserole because it reminded me of my mom. We'll have it again this year, but it will be revamped. I wanted to make it for her. She asked me where I got some of my ideas. My Better Homes and Gardens and LOTS of cooking shows.

I loved the Thanksgiving and Christmas phone calls. She didn't really want to talk to me, but she did. Then it was all about her babies. She would always send a check for Christmas. It's easier than sending gifts, and I could get the kids what they wanted. The best gifts always came from Mermie and Uncle Jesse and Mamaw and Papaw. It's just the right thing to do. She would ask what she got them and I would tell her. Then she would ask the kids how they liked it. Too funny. She was always flumoxed about what to get the boy. With 6 granddaughters, a grandson threw her for a loop. That always made me giggle.

We did get to spend a Thanksgiving with her a few years ago. I kind of took over the kitchen. I couldn't help it. It's what I do. It was a fantastic holiday. The kids got to spend great time with her. There was no drama. There was no stress. There was just family eating great food and being thankful for being together. There was way too much turkey and pie eaten and it was wonderful.

I know the firsts are always hardest. It doesn't really get any easier. It just gets easier to pretend you're too busy to think about it. Make sense? I know if my mom were here, she would tease me about being Suzy Homemaker. I know she would ask me how I make my pomegranate compote. I would tell her to quit eating that crappy cranberry sauce in a can and make her own. It is so good. We would both have broccoli rice casserole, but mine would have brown rice and homemade cream of mushroom. We would both eat too much and complain about it while we ate leftovers. She would spoil my kids something awful and I would let her. I would wish I was in her beautiful kitchen and so would she!

Have a great holiday season. Pardon me if I don't perticipate like I want to. I just can't. There will be joy this season. There will be no drama on our part. There will be too much food and full, full, bellies and hearts. There will be some sadness and some tears. There will be a wish on my part. Oh, how I wish, I wish, I wish...

   

Move It or Lose it

This blog started a different way. It started as a random blog. I have so many voices thoughts in my head, it's nice to have an outlet. Then as I started writing, I saw a pattern. Well, let's get on with it.

I am having the best time in dance class. THIS is the type of class I have been wanting. This is hip hop, baby, and it's amazing!! I always say that as much as I love tap, tap is about form and structure. Balance is definitely required. It's very musical. Ballet is super structured. Form is critical in ballet. Even jazz has form and structure and rules. Hip hop, though, is about moving your body. You don't have to place your feet a certain way, keep your back straight, balance and shift your weight. Well, you do, but not so precisely. I learned to dance watching Soul Train. My favorite part of any club was the dance floor. I had a DJ stop the music and tell people they weren't allowed on a lifeguard stand while I was there. I've been offered jobs at clubs to dance. At one point, when hip hop started to get big and videos were king, I thought about going to LA and dancing in videos. Yeah, then there's that fear thing that grabbed me by the throat and threw me to the ground. Damn fear. It may take me a little longer to get the step now, and my body may hurt a little more when I get home, but you couldn't pry the smile off my face with a crow bar. Loving!! It!!

Yoga this morning was very humbling. For about three weeks, I've been getting up early to do yoga. I've been having some hip issues. It's almost like my left hip wasn't quite sitting in the pocket. It could get pretty painful. I also noticed during some of our stretches in dance I couldn't sit cross legged and get my left knee to the floor. It stunk. Lots of stretching has helped that. I still can't quite get my knee down, but it's better than it was. My right bicep, well that's another story. About 2 years ago, I started to notice that I was having range of motion issues in my right bicep. Not strength, just range of motion. The cure, believe it or not, was Just Dance 2. Then Just Dance 3. And, always, yoga. Then things went kablooey when my mom got really sick, then when she passed. I've been in a funk since and haven't done either of those for a while. And my range issues are back. They were very evident this morning during yoga. And it kicked my ass. It was all arms and upper body this morning. Some of the positions I couldn't get to. What?!? Which brings me to my next point.

I have gone as far as I can with diet alone. I was doing great with dance class and dancing, but then dance was over for the summer. We didn't get to do summer classes for obvious reasons. And really, I was depressed. I've lost 45 pounds, but now it's time to start toning it up. Truth be told, it's time to start taking care of myself again. It's time to shake off the funk and get back to my life. Big Sis gets cranky when she doesn't work out. It's been a part of her life for so long. That's how I feel about dance and yoga. I think that's why my hip shifted. I think that's why I started having bicep issues again. I think that's why my funk has lasted so long.  

It's time to get off my ass. It's time to get moving. It's time to get funky, but in a different way. It's time to tone this flab up. It's time to feel leaner and taller and stronger, which is what dance and yoga make me feel like. Besides, I gave away all my fat clothes and bought new, slimmer clothes. I am NOT cleaning out my closet again. Hubby would kill me. Not really, but he'd be kinda mad about the money. So would I, truth be told. I'm moving it and I'm going to lose it. My issues, I mean. The rest is just a bonus!
   

Make It or Break It 7

This is a 7 quick takes blog. As long winded as I am, though, it may not be quick. I crack myself up. And cue #1:

1. October is breast cancer awareness month. Really?!? Because we are all too stupid to know it's out there. I have not one good thing to say about this. Last year, I posted on my social media page almost every day trying to make people aware. I want them to be aware that there are alternatives. I want them to be aware that your doctors DO NOT know everything. I want them to know that you have got to take care of yourselves and realize what is going on with the food you put into your body. I want them to be proactive about their own health. I want my mom back.
2. October is also the beginning of cooler weather here. I won't say fall because we really don't have one. We do have a tree out back that changes colors and drops it leaves. We also get pumpkins! I love me some pumpkins. I like to process my own and use it for all kinds of things. I'm looking into buckwheat flour for pumpkin pancakes. I make an awesome pumpkin pie. It's always so much better when it's fresh. I would love to make homemade pumpkin spice lattes. I could drink a million of those every fall, but my body would rebel. All the junk in those things is horrible for me. I have one and that's it. Pumpkin donuts. Oh my giddy aunt, I have got to stop.
3. I was in the Young Republicans club when I was in college. For several years, I couldn't believe I had actually done that. I like to call those my liberal years. Now, I just want everyone to go away and leave us alone. I don't want to have health insurance if I don't want it, I don't want someone telling me I can't have a garden, and I don't want anyone telling me how to raise my kids or love my family. I'm not saying that cave in Tahiti is any closer, but a girl can dream right?
4. I am ready for this election to be over. OB saying what a great job he did and lying left and right. He shouldn't even be running for reelection according to his own words, but I guess that's in the eye of the incumbent. I don't understand why Mr. Hair has to be run down for making money. Isn't that what everyone else wants? To make money and be rich? That seemed to be the trend for so long. Look at reality TV. People want to be famous and make tons of money and live in big houses and have huge parties. All of a sudden it's not OK if you're running for POTUS. I'm confused. He made great investments. He made money. What do you want? Someone who will make you money or someone who will give it away? Soapbox...
5. My van is sitting in my driveway. And it shall stay there until next week, when the part comes in to fix it. Ugh! We skipped school yesterday (don't tell the teacher) and ran errands. The van broke down on Wednesday, leaving us stuck at the house all day Thursday. I took hubby to work Friday morning and we ran errands all day. ALL DAY! We left the house about 10 and didn't get home until after 3. Then there's the putting stuff away and eating lunch. It was 4 o'clock before I got a nap. What kind of junk is that? I did get everything done I needed to. Then off to pick up hubby and back home to make dinner. We have a field trip next week. We wanted to go to Disney after, but instead we'll come home and drop the gas tank and change a fuel filter. You realize that by we, I mean hubby.
6. The 300 or so acres behind us sold. Want to know what they did with it? Fuckers built a mud bog they don't really have a permit for and have concerts they weren't given permission to have without a sound wall. Cave, Tahiti.I just keep repeating that over and over. The mud bog is only permitted for BMX, not the 4 wheelers and trucks that run through it. The sound wall was supposed to go up before the concerts. Instead, our neighbors call the cops every Saturday night when the music goes past the 10 pm curfew and they have to go and shut them down. Cave, Tahiti.
7. Hopefully, in the next week or so, I'll have a new computer. I am so ready. As a loaner, this one isn't bad. As a functioning one that I need for our every day, not so much. I'm trying to hurry before all the Windows 7 computers are gone. I don't want Windows 8. All of our stuff is 7 or XP compatible. If we got 8, we'd have to start all over. I no want to. I am excited about a new computer. I've been taking pics I can't post. There's no room on this computer for it and it doesn't have everything we need to get them transferred online. 

Oh, the worries. I lead a pretty cushy freakin' life, don't I? I should just shut up and get over myself. There are such bigger things to worry about. It's the little things. Think I'll go wake my little things up so we can Saturday school. Yea for Saturday school and pajamas all day!        

Over Stuffed

I'm talking about my brain, not my belly. I should really stop watching so much morning news. I really like GMA even if George is a biased reporter. I think Josh is just as cute as he can be. I miss Robin, and I hope she recovers soon. That isn't what this is about. It's about all the junk that they fill my head with, amongst other things. Ready? Buckled? Let's go.

• October is breast cancer awareness month. Pardon me as I scream "We're fucking aware!! Find a cure, dumb asses!!!" I have a start. Stop putting GMO grains and sugar and chemicals in every little product. Why is there sugar in garlic powder? There should be nothing but garlic in that. How about doctors finally get in touch with the fact that there are many environmental and nutritional reasons for disease? How about we become aware of our environment and our own bodies and recognize that what we put in to them will come out, and not always in good ways? How about doctors and researchers stop chasing the almighty dollar and actually pay attention to patients and what they say? I could go on and on about the FDA, the American Cancer Society (fakers!), the AMA, and big pharm, but you can go back and read all of that on my blog. 
• Mitt Romney is behind in the polls. We cannot do 4 more years of our current POTUS. He even said if he didn't fix the problems in our country he wouldn't run for another term. Lie much? Please don't think I am a Romney fan, by any means. There's that whole pot/kettle thing. He sent jobs to China. That's going to fix the economy. Please just let us get to the election with awareness of the issues and what isn't a solution to them. And please don't give me that crap about not voting. You might as well vote for Obama then, which is what a non-vote becomes. Arm yourselves with information!
• My nephew is coming over this weekend. We are having our first ever youth tailgate party and worship service. I'm hoping it goes over well. I had hubby call his brother and set it up. We skipped the SIL step. Oops! Whatever. We are excited to see A. He just turned 13. I'm not sure how and why the time went so fast. He had an ice cream sandwich cake for his birthday. I'm thinking about making sweet potato chocolate while he's here, turn him on to healthy and delicious. We'll see. 
• I miss my mom. Horribly.
• Roseanne Barr is running for President. She's on the ballot in several states. Well, there you go. That should scare the crap out of people. Can you imagine Roseanne Connor running the country? She would pay bills without signing the checks or mixing up the envelopes on purpose. On the bright side, she'd tell you exactly what she thinks. You might not like it and we may alienate the rest of the world, but really, that isn't a bad thing either.     
• My friend F posted a pic on the social media site of a "new" style of pants. They're from the '80s. The pants with the zipper at the ankle. I never had a pair of those. I was too round to wear those. I would look like an apple propped up by toothpicks. I told her as long as parachute pants didn't make a comeback. I didn't like those. 
• I watched Kid Rock the other night on PBS. They have a concert series that I cannot remember the name of. I know it's not Austin City Limits. I watch that a lot. Kid Rock put on a great show. I would really like to see him live. My tour bus driving friend has driven his bus. She said he was really sweet and very polite and respectful. That is not his public image, is it? His back up singers were amazing! They have such great, powerful voices. They were even choreographed. I'm afraid I'd be too busy rocking out to remember the moves! 
• Our new neighbors. Big sigh. They seem to be nice enough. They have over 30 chickens now. They have a couple of roosters, They have 2 goats. They have 11 dogs. And now they have a 4 wheeler. And they ride it. And it gets loud. We are building a partial fence around the garden eventually. We need a little privacy. They are going to use the entire 3 acres (and really, if we had, we would, too), but that means they encroach on us. We want a little bit of not seeing them. It was so nice not having neighbors...
• My friend Hillside Hollow loves October. I do, too. It has started with temps that are a little cooler, day and night. I can get pie pumpkins, which makes me happy. I use it for almost everything. I'm going to use some in my sweet potato biscuits and make them pumpkin. I saw a recipe yesterday for pumpkin baked oatmeal. Oh, yes, please and thank you. I'm not so sure the rest of the house enjoys it as much as I do, but they tolerate it because they love me. Yea! 

Ok, I think that's good. It wasn't that bad, now was it? It was a little all over the place, so aren't you glad you buckled up? That could have been rough since I don't have air bags. Maybe not so bad since I do have a lot of hot air.
         

Round and Round and Some New Things for Me

There really isn't much going on here. There are times I like it boring, but I like a little action every now and then. It seemed for awhile there I couldn't make the drama go away. Now, it's almost like I can't coax it over with the offer of a steak dinner, some wine, and maybe a little action. Wait, that was hubby. He's always interested in a steak dinner. Anyway...

• I had to buy new underwear. I've lost about 45 pounds and nothing really fits. I think I'm finally in the next smaller size. We'll see when I go to buy new jeans next week. I cleaned out my closet and I have almost nothing left. I cleaned out my drawers in the dresser. Yeah, I don't have a lot left in there, either. I kept some shorts because I have a belt. It's time for those to go as well. The two things I couldn't get rid of are bras and panties. Bras will have to wait until hubby and I can get to the mall and Victoria's Secret. Although I have dropped two band sizes, I have gone up a cup size. I don't understand it, but I'm not the one making special size bras. It was time to toss the undies and get some that fit. I'm tired of tugging everything up with my pants. I'm tired of my pants slipping, but the undies falling if you know what I mean. Wearing a skirt is OUT. OF. THE. QUESTION. I'd end up just stepping out of them when they hit the floor and keep on walking. I actually bought the right size. I like one pair so much, I may go back and buy every color they have. 
• I had the kids with me when I went shopping. The poor boy. There is a pajama section right next to the delicate's section. That's where the boy hangs out so he doesn't have to look at all the lacy things.  I got what I needed, and off we go to the register. Only there wasn't anyone at the register, so we go searching for another one. And who do we see coming the other way? My MIL and my nephew. They were birthday shopping for my nephew. I don't know if they saw us or not. I moved pretty quick to head the other way. Right back into the delicate section. My poor boy. We had to go round and round to keep from being seen. I had panties in my hand. I didn't want to see anyone I knew, but specially them. Now I'm all tied in knots. Ack!
• Seeing them threw me so off my game I forgot to go to the grocery store. That wouldn't have been such a big deal except I forgot to get milk and some things I needed to make dinner. Well, shit! Of course, I didn't realize that until I was home trying to make dinner. I was making stuffed bell peppers with peppers from our garden. Oh, yummy! Well, it would have been anyway. Off to the grocery store we go at 7 and pick up something for dinner while we're out. I was not looking forward to that. Hubby, either, truth be told. When you have hungry kids and a hungry hubby, you do what you have to and that was what I had to do. We'll have peppers tomorrow, by gosh, by golly. 
• At 9 pm,. my mama meter expires. I am no longer on duty. Tonight, it also means I'm going to bed. I'm going to try and not let the fun of my day get me down. I feel better already.

 Signing off for now. Thanks for letting me vent.
  

Stuffed

Oh my giddy aunt. You bunch of chickens!! I see nobody commented on my 50 Shades blog. Really? Y'all make me laugh. Now that I'm done laughing, here's what we've been doing.

• We slaughtered chickens on Saturday. Not our sweet, egg-laying ladies. These were our fat, meat chickens. It was time. I guess I should say we processed them. Slaughter is such an ugly word. We went in on chickens with three other families. There were 20 to start with, but 2 didn't make the trip. The chickens stayed at one house and the other two families took turns feeding and taking care of them. We live about 30 minutes away, so that was a little much for us. Our part of the deal was come process day, we help. It may sound morbid or gross or whatever, but I had the best time. Hubby helped with the bloody stuff and the main defeathering process. My friend S and I would fetch the freshly cleaned chickens and pull all the pin feathers. That was harder than you might think. The big girl would get them when we were done. She would wash them, bag them, and weigh them. If you know my big girl, and some of you do, you would think she would run screaming in the other direction. She did an awesome job. Because we were short 2 chickens, we divided them up by weight. We all got around 33 pounds of chicken. I made one Sunday night, then used what was left to make chicken enchiladas tonight. They were super good, I must say. I still have 4 chickens in my freezer just waiting. 
• I am ready for this election to be over. I am ready for politicians to actually start telling the truth. Romney said people are dependent on the government and feel entitled. He's right. Obama said he believed in a redistribution of wealth. He's an idiot. They both lie to get what they want. I'm a Ron Paul kind of gal. I think we need to stop supporting foreign countries until we can get our shit straight. I think Medicare, and Medicaid, for that matter need to be overhauled. I think all entitlement programs need to be shut down for a year. Sorry, stand on your own two feet. Tough love, baby.  I think education needs to be about education not test scores. And if a child needs to be left behind, then a child needs to be left behind. I think teachers should be able to find a way to teach where no child is ever left behind, instead of being beholden to politics and unions. I think lobbyists need to be banned from access to all politicians. I think we need to bring all of our troops home and hunker down until our country can stand on it's own. I think we need to work on our infrastructure and our outer structure. I think the two yahoos running for POTUS need to kiss my ass and apologize to all of us. That should get me on the watch list.
• I am down 2 extra activities. We no longer have bible study and I quit science co-op today. The kids and I cannot stand the curriculum. To see my kids physically cringe when it was time to do science just broke my heart. We are changing curriculum and are pretty excited about it. Moving on. I have no idea what we're going to do with our time. 
• We are reading Missing May as our after dinner book. It is about a man who lost his wife. They had adopted a little girl who's mom had died and was a distant family member. It's the story of how the two of them are coping after her death and how they aren't. The big girl had received it as a Christmas present in 3rd grade from her teacher. We had never read it. I felt like now was a good time. We are still having some grieving issues. I'm hoping this will help us cope. Good grief something needs to. I read one part tonight and almost lost it. The kids asked me if I was alright. Some days I am, some days not so much. 
• Speaking of reading, I'm hoping to get to a stack of books I have in the kitchen. We have a little corner table and that's where all the books go. I was looking at my request list from the library and I need to order more books. I did check out some e-books. I'm hoping since they downloaded through my cloud that I get to keep them. The problem is reading on my Kindle. I have no problem reading it, it's when I stop reading I have issues. I guess because I've focused so close for an extended period of time I have a hard time focusing far away for a little while. Naps help. I can shut my eyes and I can see just fine when I wake up. Of course, I don't always get a nap after I read on my Kindle. I just don't read for long if I can avoid it. But I got some really good books. 
• I read an article the other day on the debate between spanking and not spanking. One woman went so far as to say that if you spank your kids, she doesn't want to be your friend. To quote Johnny Ringo from Tombstone, "Bye."  We have always been spankers and we will continue to be. Does that mean I beat my kids all the time? No, it means I discipline my kids the way that works for them. Spanking does nothing for the big girl, but you take her phone and iPod away, and good grief, it's like she was dying. Time out works best for the boy. He would rather have a spanking and get it over with. The baby does not like to be spanked. She would rather do time out or have her video games taken away. Sometimes, though, the wooden spoon comes out and everyone gets a couple swats. Those are rough days, let me tell you what. 

That's all I have for now. I have emptied my brain and crossed stuff off my list. I'm gonna watch a movie with hubby. I like these nights.

50 Shades of Bullshit

I hate the media. It doesn't matter what network you listen to. They are all trying to get you to "look at me, listen to what I say, don't look over there." Have you seen the way people handle themselves lately? I blame believing the hype. Look at what we find acceptable. More people know who the Kardashians are than who's running for President. I cannot believe I put that name on my blog. You get my point? Along with all that came a trilogy.

50 Shades of Grey was supposed to be "the" summer book. Then it became the "summer trilogy". Some libraries were banning it. Some stores pulled it off their shelves. Meanwhile, some libraries were buying as many copies as they could. It supposedly saved Amazon and a couple of big bookstore chains. Really? It was supposed to be the BDSM manual. It was a marriage saver. "We've never had better sex!" someone said on national TV. Wait, what? You haven't had great sex? It took these books? You know what all this hype meant? It meant I had to read the books. So I did.

Our little library that we go to had a temporary librarian. She was about my age and pretty hip. She also liked to wear these low cut tops that just screamed for people to look at her boobs. So I did. They were nice. But I digress and lose 10 readers all at the same time. Our library system had not one copy. She ordered 3 of each book. Then the library suddenly had several copies. Nothing like a good bandwagon to jump on. I was the first to get the book from our library. She automatically signed me up for the other two so I would be the first to get those, too. Told you I liked her. They were good books, too.

The thing they weren't was what the media had hyped them to be. They were a great read. They were a quick read, too, which is what I like. It flowed well. The story was decently strong. But it wasn't a BDSM manual. It wasn't even that great for sex. When you listen to all the interviews and discussions, you expect erotic fiction. Did they have lots of sex? Well, hell yeah. But so did I when hubby and I first got together. If we had 10 seconds alone, some body's pants were down within 1 and we were pulling up and zipping by 10. DO NOT tell me you weren't the same way when you first met your partner. I had a friend tell me that when hubby and I got married, every time we had sex the first year, put a quarter in a jar. Your jar will overflow. The second year,  you're to take a quarter out every time you had sex. You would still have quarters in your jar. We wouldn't know because my BIL stole the quarters while we were on vacation. (See, that shit goes way back. Do you still wonder why I have issues with the family?)

I expected EROTIC FICTION!!!!!!!! Yeah, that isn't what I got. If you want EROTIC FICTION, you need to read Lora Leigh or Jami Alden or Selena Kitt. Now, those ladies will make you wet and squishy in places that you didn't know could get wet and squishy. Every time I see a new Lora Leigh book is coming out, I am on the library website, marking my place in line. She has stories with a plot (shocking), relationships with alpha males (lots of telling what to do, but with vulnerability), and action (as in fighting, not sex) in her stories. They are mostly about military type men. If you like a sexy spy novel, read her. Jami Alden has several series, but she also does stand alone books as well. And Selena Kitt has a Baumgartner series that is just sex on a page. It will work you up good and proper for sure. You can only get her books on Amazon, if you're interested. Now, those ladies know how to write erotic fiction.

50 Shades was a really good relationship novel with lots of sex. It was about a man and woman who needed to find what was working and what was definitely not working. It was about a virgin who had to catch up and quick. There was a learning curve and she decided that she didn't need an A. B or C was fine. It was about changing and finding that place inside that allows you to be comfortable with who and what you are. It's about deciding what is a deal breaker and what is a deal maker. There were a couple times in the book, I could have smacked them both. Do not let that man intimidate you!! Who the hell do you think you are to talk to her that way?!? Fuck you!! Wait, that's what he wants. Well, her, too, and now that I've read it, maybe I do, too. Digressing...

If you want a good book with quite a bit of good sex, go for it. If you are looking for erotic fiction, it's ok. It's not the best, but it'll do. Don't believe the hype. I did what I encourage all my readers to do. I did my own research. I liked the book. As we speak, I'm waiting for my email for my links to the digital version of the trilogy from our library so I can reread them. They were good books, but they weren't worthy of twitchy palms. Maybe a little spasm.

Laters, baby.  

 

    

7 Quick Takes

There are so many ways to blog. I like to surf for different blogs sometimes. People will put some stuff in a blog. I am one of those. I've read about people who thought they had conceived after being told for years that she could not have children. She thought God had given her a child. That was a strange blog. I like the photography and art blogs. Those are fun. When I get to a recipe blog, I sit up an pay attention. One format I like is 7 Quick Takes. It goes something like this.

• We are three weeks in to school. Some days are better than others. We are trying to find a groove. We need to find it quick because things really pick up in September. Tomorrow we go to find the boy some ballet shoes and a white shirt. You would not believe how hard it is to find a white shirt. We try one more time. I hope we find one. 
• I have lost my kitchen mojo. What the hell is that? It's actually pretty normal for me. I've been in a rut for a while with everything. I have a touch of depression since my mom died. Well, duh. I had hubby and the kids each pick some new recipes. Now I get to plan a menu. I need to clean off my desk and gather the recipes and get to it. Tomorrow. Did I also mention I have a touch of procrastination happening? Pissing me off is what it's doing. That is my other goal tomorrow. I need to do that before we go get shoes so I can coupon. I have a stack of those on my desk, too. See, there's that procrastination/depression thing again. If any of the recipes are good, you know I'll post them. 
• Wow, that last bullet point went all over the place, didn't it? Was that about the cooking or the emotional wreck I am? Good grief, it was about both. It's like my Gemini twins were fighting to be heard. That was weird. 
• So much going on with my park mamas. We all have our issues, but some of them are going through some pretty heavy things. Makes my heart hurt to have my friends hurt. It feels good to know you have a group of friends that will always be there for you. Much love and many prayers for my mamas. 
• The divorce is getting ugly. So much to say. And I did. And I took it down. My nephew blocked me. I could see his posts, but I wasn't allowed to comment or like his statuses. I blocked him back. I knew it was his mother. Then I didn't want to be that childish. If she wanted to creep, she could creep away. Then I got unfriended. All because I don't agree with his mother. See, now that's not right. So I put that as my status. And I called her out. I also said may she rot for the damage she is doing to her children. And that was wrong and I know it. But I have to say my friends are the freakin' best ever because they played right along. I love them. Doesn't make what I said right, though, so I took it down. It was the right thing to do, but that didn't make it any easier. 
•  As much of a hard ass as I am, I promise I can be really sweet. Really, ask hubby. Maybe not him. Ask my kids. Wait, maybe not. Just kidding. They all think I'm a sweetheart. And a bad ass. 
• See this seven takes thing is pretty easy. Technically, two of these probably don't count, but they got a bullet point. 

I like it because I get to use bullet points and it's a random blog. I told hubby I was in the mood for a political blog. He started looking for snipers and black SUVs. He's so cute.              

Birthdays

Ooooh, Pitbull is a dirty, dirty, dirty dog! I asked my friend N to translate part of  a song. He is a bad, bad boy. I like his voice and the beat of his songs. Shake Senora makes me want to shake my senora. That's not what this blog is about, that's just what's blasting through my ear buds. But I digress again. Duh.

Today was my big girl's birthday. She is 14. What the hell?!?!?! You should see her. She's freaking gorgeous. Little boys pant when she walks by. Mama glares at the little boys and they run away. It was a rough day. Not for the big girl, but for me. This was the first birthday for one of my kids that Mermie wasn't here to make her phone call. I've felt like I was on the edge of a cliff all day. Just one miniscule breeze could make me fall off.

We don't answer our home phone. If you don't have my cell, I don't want to talk to you. That's just the way it is. Well, the phone seemed to ring off the hook today. One was from the church. They called to wish the big girl happy birthday. I had played the message already and hit replay when the big girl came to my room. I expected it to play the message from the church, not thinking it was in the "you already played that message" cue. With the message from my mom from my last birthday I have saved. I fast forwarded as quickly as I could and played the message from the church. By this time all the kids were gathered around the answering machine. When the message from the church was over, they asked if they could hear the one from Mermie. So I played it.

I miss her so much. My heart aches and aches some days. I see something on TV or hear something on the radio and I want to call her. I make a new dish or an old one and I want to call her. The kids do something great or even not so great and I want to call her. But I can't. And that sucks.

The boy was feeling extra sensitive today anyway for some reason. I don't know if he was getting his emotional cues from me or what, but he couldn't take it. He just burst into tears and fell into my arms. Deep, sorrowful sobs poured from my boy as I held him and cried with him. We held each other and talked about how much we miss her. We talked about wanting to see her again. We talked about last summer and how much fun we had. And we cried and we cried and we cried. What a big, strong young man he is.

I had to go to the garden. I needed a little quiet to process. And cry a little more. It was a rough day, for sure. I called hubby after a minute or so and talked to him about it. And cried some more. Grieving sucks, by the way. The smallest thing will set me off. I have two friends that don't have Facebook and have been out of town for several weeks. They both happened to come to the park. One of them asked about my mom. Well, shit, where did the tears come from? It took me a while to compose myself. Lots of deep breathing going on there.

The big girl seemed to have a good day. She even got her room cleaned for her sleepover. Yea for a houseful of teenage girls. It could be worse. It could be a houseful of teenage boys. That day will come, I'm sure. Sooner than I want it to. We went to dinner and had a wonderful time. There will be an ice cream cake and presents and friends tomorrow. And Mermie will always be with us in our hearts.          

Random Blog

I have a lot on my mind. It's kinda swirly right now. This is one of those show my good and bad side blogs. I'm pretty good at that. I am a Gemini, you know. It doesn't help I have a headache. It just gets better and better, doesn't it? Some of this probably belongs on my other blog, but I don't necessarily want it all over Facebook.

• The big girl listens to Pandora. I listen to I Heart Radio. Are you supposed to designate the names of apps like the names of books, with italics or quotation marks? Sorry, I digress. She has a new favorite band and I am so glad it's Relient K. I like them, too, but I don't know nearly the amount of their songs that she does. She also like Karmin. I do, too, but again, there's that her knowing more about the "current" music than I do. And that makes me a little nervous. Usually, when I'm on IHR, I'm listening to Air 1 Radio, which is contemporary Christian. So, tonight I'm on Pandora. One of the things I remember I don't like about Pandora is that you really can't fast forward. I mean, you can, but then you have to sit through the ads. Who wants that? I know there are ads anyway, but still, let me get to something I like. I am on the Karmin channel trying to get "caught up". I was just listening to Katy Perry and I couldn't fast forward. But then, Pandora redeemed itself by playing Neon Trees Everybody's Talking. The bad with the good. Except, you can't always control the language that shows up in some of the songs. You would think it wouldn't bother me that much, but it really does. Which is hypocritical because I have Niki Minaj's Starships. It's the edited version, but you know what she's saying. Ach!! On a bright note, Relient K is her favorite band. Small things, right. I may ban her from Pandora. Or not. 
• I have been blocked from my nephew's Facebook page. I can see the basic info, like if you're not friends. I have no idea what I did or said for that to happen. I haven't said anything bad about either of his parents, nor would I. Not on Facebook anyway. I try not to feed the monster on that social beast. I think he unfriended me. That is the son of the divorcing parents. Ouch, says my ego. Another part of me says it is one more thing I do not need to worry about. I can't change it right now, but hopefully, I'll get the chance in the future. 
• I have a favorite pair of shorts. They are a size too big, but they are so comfy, I will not give them up. I like where they sit on my hips. I wear it with a maroon t-shirt I have. I like the way it hugs my curves. Makes me feel sexy. Hubby likes it, too. Really, there isn't much better than that. We went to run some errands and I threw on my white wedges because my tan is kicking and those things make my short legs miles long. A little braggy, aren't I? Sorry. It feels pretty good. Anyway, we stopped to get gas. We belong to a program run by a local grocery chain that gives you money off the price of a gas when you spend money at their store. I forgot the card when we got out of the van. So I lean into the van just a little more than I had to because hubby was there. I really did have problems finding the card. When I stood up, the lady in the SUV at the next pump was looking at me and smiling. She'd been staring at my ass. And I'll take that every day because I am not proud. I am just glad someone enjoyed the view. 
• I am sad the Olympics are over. I look forward to that every two years. At first I was upset when they changed from every four years, same year for both Olympics, to the way it is now. But I get to watch Olympics sooner, so it's not too bad. I like the wallpaper going around that is a picture of Gabby Douglas wearing her gold medal. The caption says "16 and an Olympian, not 16 and pregnant". Yes! I can only hope that this is a turn around for many people. It would be great to see kids with a sense of self esteem. I think reality TV is an abomination. There is no such thing as reality TV. None of that stuff is real. But then again, nothing is what it used to be. I hope the Olympians inspired people to go out and be their best. Work hard and you can achieve great things. That's what we're trying to teach our kids. 

 And on that note, I am going to take some more stuff for my headache, then go stand in a hot, hot shower for hours. OK, more like 10 minutes or so. And I want a sandwich. Peace out!  

Hmmmmm...

Lots of good stuff on my list and I was trying to figure out why I hadn't blogged about it. Because I didn't have a computer. Well, I should get to it, then. Ready?

• Hubby and I have talked about putting ourselves on a no frills, no extra budget for the next year. Barring things like food and bills and essentials, no extra except what we already do, like dance. Great talk. Then I went out and bought two new shirts and a pair of shorts. Dumb ass. So we need to sit down and decide when we're getting started and what no extras actually means. We still need new front steps, a new fan motor for the A/C, a section of privacy fence for the garden and soil for the rest of the beds, the rest of the beds, new tires for his truck, and really that list needed bullet points of it's own. You get the idea. I am not looking forward to it, but I think it's now or never. We talk about it all the time, but I think it IS time. It will force us to be accountable to each other about where the money really goes. It's times like this I wish my feet were still growing. Good excuse for a new pair of shoes. Alright, I'll stop whining. About this. For now. But I'm gonna start again in just a second.
• I am really enjoying our local PBS stations. I wasn't sure we would. I was starting to miss my cooking shows something fierce. Flipping through channels, I came across a few good ones. We get three sets of PBS channels from various bigger cities around us. We get one all the way from the coast. One is in Spanish, so we took that one out of the saved channels. There is also a group of channels produced in Canada that we are really liking. The only problem is that when the weather gets too bad, we lose that set until the storm passes. I do miss some of the channels like TNT. They have great shows. The Olympics has dominated our television these last couple of weeks. I do miss having all the extra channels to watch some of the other events. We can't stream from the computer, so we've missed quite a bit. And I just now thought about streaming through the Wii. I am brilliant!! Late, but brilliant. 
• I am not a fan of coconut, at least not the shredded stuff you buy in the store. That is just a cruel thing to do to a coconut. As hubby and I were walking through the grocery store one day, he noticed beers from Kona Brewing Company. Well, sign me up for Hawaiian beer!! He got a pale ale that was scrumtious. I picked the coconut ale. Why? I don't know, but it was really good. It was really, really good. Hubby and I were supposed to be sharing one and then I noticed he had walked off with it. Oh, no, I do not even think so, Mister. So I got my own. Ha! That showed him. As I was retelling the story a couple of days later, I made the comment that although I am not a rum drinker at all (it doesn't like me and I don't like it back!) I liked Malibu Rum. Light bulb! It's not that I don't like coconut, it's that I only like my coconut with alcohol in it. Not surprisingly, I'm OK with that. 
• Our trip to Texas left a lot of work when we got home. The garden was horrible, the chicken coop needed to be cleaned, the laundry, the mail, the pool, the, the, the. Hubby and I took that weekend and worked our buns off. Our saving grace was our neighbor. Thank God for great neighbors. Our neighbor mowed the whole yard, collected the mail, and kept an eye on our chickens. Good neighbors can be hard to find, but he is wonderful. He keeps an eye on us, takes care of us, mows our front yard on a regular basis, and I could keep going. He knows everybody and everyone and if you need something he is the go-to guy. Love it!

And on that positive note, I think I'm done. That feels so much better. I'm going to bed now. The Olympics are still on and I need to get caught up. Go USA!!    

"It's not the hate, it's the stupidity"

Margaret Cho had a great quote about racism in her act many years ago. It's one that stuck with me. It's something along the lines of "Racism is like the weather. With weather, it's not the heat, it's the humidity. With racism, it's not the hate, it's the stupidity." Well that just sums it up nicely, doesn't it. Not only have we had a lot of hate floating around our country, but way more stupidity than should be allowed. Or the other phrase that I like: common sense just isn't that common. I sure wish common sense was running rampant. What a great day that would be! At the risk of alienating some people, you know I just have to open my mouth, or keyboard, because that's what I do.

Can we talk about this Chick Fil A boondoggle? I like that word. Of course we can talk about it. It's my blog. We can talk about anything here. First of all, an entire company is being vilified because the CEO was asked his stance on what has become a key issue. Dan Cathy was asked what he thinks about gay marriage. His response was that he believes in the biblical view of marriage. People went stupid! They didn't go nuts. They skipped that and went straight for the good stuff.

The GLBT community immediately called for a boycott of all the restaurants. They are mostly franchises owned by independent owners, who, amazingly, have their own opinions and beliefs and secrets hidden in their closets. All of a sudden, Christians were being sent to the lions. Again. For what one man said. At no time did he spout hate rhetoric and say that homosexuality was from the devil. He didn't say anything like that. But the press took it and ran with it. Suddenly, we aren't smart enough to read the comments for ourselves. Let's all jump on the "Hate Chick Fil A" bandwagon. No, because their waffle fries are lovely.

The extreme Christians went into overdrive. Let's all praise this man for standing up for our Christian values. Let's persecute all the gays and only eat chicken! Wait, what?!? Y'all are just as stupid as the other side. He didn't say that either. But, suddenly, this became a major issue and Christians need to stand together. Now we have a champion for family values! Um, ok, take a breath. Let's get a lemonade and talk about how you need to actually listen to the quote as well.

Then there's the millions of us that are stuck in the middle of all this, looking at both sides, thinking you're both idiots. What I can't stand is sheeple. Let's jump on whatever bandwagon fits our criteria and beat our drums and make ourselves be heard. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

One thing that irritates me is that it's being said that Chick Fil A gives money to organizations that spout hate. I looked up who they give their money to. I'm a freak that way. I always say do your own research, so I did. I know that there won't be anything that says: We promote hate around here. Here's what I did find, though.

1. Core Essentials: This program is provided to schools to emphasize and explore core values and good character. These help reinforce good character and promotes family values. I don't see that as bad. Are you saying that families with two moms or two dads can't benefit from this program? Don't we want our kids to grow up with a strong sense of ethics and right from wrong? Don't we want kids that will grow up to be productive members of society that work hard and give back to the community? Do we want kids that don't think the world and society owe them something just because they exist? Seems like a great program to me. 
2. All Pro Dad: This is an organization that helps fathers be better fathers and mentors to their children and children in the community, promoting strong families and strong fathers. There are former and current NFL players and coaches involved in this particular group. They meet once a month for breakfast and spend time with each other fellowshipping and mentoring with each other. Once again, is this for just father's of  "regular" families? No. It's for fathers that want better for their families. 
3. Family First. While the information for this organization doesn't state that they are a Christian organization, it may be. I did not take the time to read the blog, and I should have. It seemed pretty straight forward to me, though. Check it out for yourself. This group was co-founded by Tony Dungy, former NFL coach of the Indianapolis Colts and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I like Tony, but that's me. 

The main website said that the franchise owners in each community are responsible for what groups they donate money to and what they support. To find out what they give time and money to, just call them. They will be more than happy to give you access to that info. It says so on the website.

This blog isn't meant to bash gay marriage or GLBT community. It also was not meant to promote Chick Fil A or even Christian values. It was meant to open your closed eyes to a major problem in our society today. That would be being offended. Every comment is not laced with hate and anger, from either side. Shame on all of us for being offended by someone exercising a right that has been long fought for-freedom of speech. If you ask for an opinion, don't get pissy when it isn't yours. Don't just take everything at face value. Take the time to look it up for yourself. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH, LAZY ASS!!!!!

I have friends that are gay that I love very much. I have family that are gay. I love them very much. I have a 12 year old niece that is transgender. She felt, at the tender age of 7 or 8, that she was not supposed to be a girl. Her mother, who is bisexual and living with her girlfriend, took steps to help ensure that she could live the life she is supposed to live. She lives as a boy and is treated as such. I cannot imagine what it took for that tender-hearted girl to bring the feelings that she didn't have words for to her parents. I also have friends and family that are amazing Christians and teach me every day that all people are made by God and His love for us is pure and never ending. They teach me that being offended is useless and wasteful and spouting hate, no matter what side of the issue you stand on, is wrong. We should all learn these lessons.

Strength and bravery come in many shapes and sizes. There is so much more to worry about in this country right now than where I buy my chicken sandwich and waffle fries. There is an election that will soon be taking place that will determine where this country goes in the next four years. Let's focus on unemployment, jobs, healthcare, and just getting through this life being the best people we can be, to and for each other. Let's keep our eyes on the prize of a united country where we don't force our beliefs on each other, but have open and intelligent dialogue about those beliefs. And, for goodness sake, don't ask my opinion if you don't really want it.   

    

Summer of Suck Ass

I seriously dislike this computer. As soon as we can afford a new one it is on. I should warn you that since I haven't had a real computer and therefore haven't had the ability to blog, I have a lot of angst built up. It's all gonna come spewing out here.My summer sucked as for the majority of it. I'm trying to make up for it and finish strong, but we'll see. Here's my rundown.

• My mom died. What the hell? I despise doctors that say "I can cure that" or "I can fix that" and then they don't listen because they've been doing this for a long time. Guess what, you're still getting it wrong, dumb ass. She's dead and you're an idiot. This disease should not have killed my mother. Chemo shouldn't have killed her. Radiation shouldn't have affected her. Her doctor should know that sugar is cancer's best friend but not the best friend of the patient. They shouldn't serve yogurt, sodas, and preservative-laden frozen meals as "snacks" at the cancer center for chemo patients. They do that to guarantee repeat business. Kinda hard to have repeat business if you're killing your patients. Yeah, I know, I should tell you how I really feel. My feelings are still all over the place. On one hand I handle all this with grace and wisdom given to me by God. Some days I do not handle this well at all and just want to spend all day in bed sobbing my eyes out and missing my mommy. Today is a pull the covers over my head day. 
• When my feelings are all wonky, I tend to cuss in front of my kids. ALOT. The big girl asked me if she could start saying "crap". At least that's all she's wanting to say. I imagine the boy cusses like a sailor when he's with his friends. He is his mother's child. I'm hoping the cathartic release of anxiety and ick through blogging will help with that. And just stepping up and cleaning up my fucking language. Good luck with that shit. 
• Summer camp was a bust for my kids. We had to pull them out Thursday morning to go to Texas. It was the boy's first year. When we picked them up, the boy had a huge bruise on his forehead. He had a head on collision with another boy. The nurse had drawn on his head with a marker to outline the initial swelling and did neuro checks all night to make sure he and the other boy were alright. The boy said the night before he looked like a unicorn. As his bruise changed colors, we teased him about being a rainbow unicorn. He actually didn't mind that. The big girl was very stand-offish when we got there. She knew why we there to pick them up. She wouldn't let me touch her until we left the office. They had a great time while they were there, and I sure hated to interrupt that. I didn't really have a choice.
• Summer reading didn't happen. I mean, we've read. We just haven't read like we normally do and the prizes did not roll in this summer. I did manage to read all of the 50 Shades of Grey books. Look for that blog. I'm calling it 50 Shades of Bullshit. Good books, don't get me wrong. Sooo not what everyone is making them out to be. There was no writing workshop for the big girl (which she really wanted to do), limited Pokemon Club for the boy and I haven't taken the time to work with the baby on her r/l combinations. We did get registered for one of the reading programs, but then I had to fight with the teenage volunteer who didn't give me all the info I needed when we got started. At one point I pulled out the old "You are on the customer service side of the desk. I am on the customer side. That means you hush and let me finish asking my questions before you try to anticipate, incorrectly, what my question is going to be." I was having a day, can you tell? But, good grief, don't tell me one thing then change it when I try to follow the rules. She was glad we left. Me, too.
• I am so behind in blogging. My laptop took a dump. All my pics are on it. We need to take it somewhere and have the pics taken off. I'm not worried about anything else. I was trying to get the pics on a disc before it really died, but it didn't happen. 
• And, finally, something that shouldn't make me happy, but makes me freakin' ecstatic: Hubby's oldest brother and his bitch ass wife are getting a divorce! They are the ones that started all the bullshit last holiday season and were our main motivation for amputating our relationship with most of hubby's family. They are the ones that questioned our marriage and relationship and family life without knowing a damn thing about it. All I wanted to do was sing "Ding, dong, the witch is dead. Which ol' witch? The wicked witch!" Will I make it to family functions now? Yeah, no. Thank you so much for the offer, but I think I'll just continue with what I'm doing. Still a very flimsy bridge we cross. 

See, lots of yucky stuff just wanting to boil over. I am not one to keep things in. I think you've figured that out by now. I am a spew it forth kind of gal. Gosh I feel better already. Now to get in the shower and really start my day. Oooo, I think I'm going to the library. Yeah, not that one.      

We Interrupt This Program...

I've sat down three times to write this blog. I've sat down in front of the computer more times than that but just couldn't bring myself to actually write. I didn't even sign on to Blogger. Because this one, this one sucks more than any one I've ever had to write. My mom died. See, now that hurt. I should warn you that I have courage from an outside source. I'll let you imagine what and we'll go with that.

She had not done well the last couple of months. She had started to mix up her meds and my stepdad's. She started burning dishes that she had been making for 40+ years. My sister would call with the latest and my heart would break just a little more and I would cry. She was spending more and more time in the hospital. And my heart would break just a little more and I would cry and cry. Towards the end I was beside myself. My kids were scheduled to go to camp. They had worked so hard and that sounds like such a lame excuse, but whatever. As cruel and harsh as it sounds, life has to go on. We rearranged hubby's vacation and days off twice to leave sooner and sooner. Mom stopped eating. Then she stopped drinking. Then she went to hospice. Then she died. And I miss her.

I miss her laugh. I miss butting heads with her. I get my stubbornness from her, you know. I always tell people that if they met my mom once, they would know why I am the way I am. I mean that with the upmost respect. My mom was smart and beautiful and hard working and demanding and outspoken and loving and kind and so many other things. She had a hard start in life and wanted to make sure that her girls had better.

She called me for my birthday. She left a message on my home phone and my cell phone. I knew it wouldn't be long and I may not talk to my mom again, so I saved them both. I called her back and talked to her. We were at Epcot watching the fireworks off in the distance. It was good to hear her voice. On the message at the house she's fussing at my aunt and stepdad while she's wishing me happy birthday. That's my mom.

She opened her home and her heart to so many people. Big Sis and I had several friends that rotated in and out of the extra bedroom. Good thing she had that room. Her grandbabies were her life. She doted on each and every one. She hung the moon special just for them. She said her goal for the grandbabies was to be the best Mermie ever. And she was. Watching them cry was so hard. There was nothing I could do to stop it. We did talk about the physical death and that we miss the body. It helped a little, but that physical loss is something fierce.

We know that she is whole and well and feels no pain now. She knew Jesus and had a relationship with Him. She will be waiting for us when it's our turn. She was ushered in by her mother and brother. One of my aunts said my grandmother is wondering why she's stuck with the two that are the most ornery. God's funny that way, isn't He?

We went to the Rockin' C and spread her ashes. It was a beautiful day. We spread them by her chickens, in her garden and by the pond under the shade of the trees. The kids were so great about grabbing a handful. Even stepdad spread some. I got to bring some home with me. I'm looking for a company that makes jewelry that you store ashes in. I want a necklace. Or maybe a ring.   

Big Sis said Mother's Day was going to suck. Yes, it is. My heart hurts. Some days are better than others. But I still miss her.

Slugging It Out

No, I didn't get in a fight. I could have, but I chose the high ground. It sucked, just so you know. I am not about walking away. I am about beating my opinion into you until you see things my way. Anyway...I've been lazy. You wouldn't think that with everything I do all day, but for the most part, lazy has been the MO. I am a slug. If it gets done, it takes FOREVER. That changes today. I even opened the curtains in my room to let the light in. That is saying something.

• My house is a sty. After four days of recital, a day at Disney, and a million other things, there has been minimal cleaning happening. I have laundry stacked in the living room, my bathroom is atrocious, there are things growing in my shower. I'm not sure they're carbon based life forms. They could be anything. The only thing that even got close to being accomplished on the cleaning front is the dishes. That doesn't count, though, because we ate out for three days. Just dinner, but that was enough. My body is in defensive mode from all the junk. I am slowly but surely getting us back on track. It'll probably happen about the time we start school again. And get really busy. Shit.
• I am loving our Disney passes. We have the best time just popping down there for a little while then coming home. My favorite part- Epcot serves beer. So do a couple of the other parks. Does it make me a bad parent that I like to drink beer at Disney? It is the happiest place on Earth, right? It only makes sense to serve beer. All those screaming kids, sometimes belonging to you. There must be alcohol just to get through your day. Animal Kingdom has a place that is a full bar. We don't go there. Animal kingdom yes, bar no. That could end badly.
• I hate trying on bras. I love my boobs, but trying to contain these two is like herding cats. Good luck! And all those pretty, lacy bras that supposedly add a cupsize do NOT fit women with real, saggy boobs (I probably should have said saggy, real boobs. At least I put a comma between the two. That makes them real and saggy, not real saggy.) I fall out of them just trying them on. I did find one bra that is pretty and lacy and actually lifts the ladies. It does not, however, seperate them all the time. Depending on the shirt I'm wearing, I occasionally look like I have a firm, perky boob. Just one. It pushes them up alright, but it also pushes them together. One day, one day, I'll find the right bra. I wish that was today. 
• I have started wearing pajamas to bed. I know what you're thinking: TMI. What I mean is that I change my clothes before I get in bed. I used to just sleep in whatever shirt I wore that day, unless it was a sweaty day. Now the thought of sleeping in all the junk that I was in all day grosses me out. I have got to change my clothes before I get in my bed. Who wants to sleep in WalMart? That's what I felt like. Like I was sleeping in the atmosphere of all the places I had been that day. Blech! 
• I don't like finding out that someone I really like has a mean streak. I found out some things about someone I really admire this past weekend. I felt kinda heart broken. I know we all have those things that happen when our front door closes, but still. I really don't like finding out that the mean streak was aimed at someone else that I greatly admire. Just makes me want to slap them both. One for taking it, one for dishing it out. Grrrrr...
• On the inlaw side, hubby freaked me out. He asked as we were heading to recital if I had ordered a DVD. No, I was gonna do that, I just hadn't yet. Why? His mama wants a DVD. So she can watch her grandkids dance. Why haven't you seen them dance the last ten years? That's how long the big girl has been dancing. She has not been to one performance. I have to say that I have not been very generous about the time my kids get to spend over there. Since all of the crap started last holiday season, they have seen the two younger ones twice and they haven't seen the big girl at all. That's eight months. I think they are finally seeing what living without the "good" grandkids is like. And they don't like it. It's about damn time. I was a good girl. I ordered her a DVD, flesh screaming the whole time. It was the right thing to do, but it sucked my ass doing it.
• This has not been easy for hubby. I know it hasn't. He loves his parents. I don't blame him. I love mine, too. He is torn between the people that birthed him and the woman he chose. I still encourage him to go see his parents as often as he can. He even took his daddy fishing. They didn't catch a darn thing, but they enjoyed it. That's all you can ask for, really.

That's about all I got for now. I marked some stuff off my list. I guess something did get accomplished today. That means nap time. Whoo hoo!!

Busy Work

What "they" don't tell you is that when you go for a simpler life, life gets busy. And I do NOT need any help making myself busier. Here's a few things from my list I've been keeping. I may not be blogging, but I'm still keeping my list for when I can blog. In no particular order:

• I am in overload mode right now. This has been one of those weeks that we have something to do every day. It would be ok if we only had one thing to do every day. It hasn't been that simple. I have also been pushed into a couple of last minute meetings. I don't do last minute. It pisses me off. I was asked, yesterday while in a last minute meeting, to complete a task that had been started by someone else. Not bloody likely. I kinda got fussed at, which I took well (insert eye rolling here because you know I didn't), and pushed right back. Then had to defend our youth group because the other person got bitchy. I guess he didn't realize that I am queen bitch. It ended well. Mostly. I walked away. See, I can. I was muttering a mile a minute under my breath, but I walked. I need some downtime in a serious, serious way. We're going to try to take a mini vacation pretty soon. Just a couple days at the beach. Or Disney. 
• I am so sick of hearing how Obama has finally embraced gay marriage. I know he's the first sitting POTUS to say it, but do we all realize it's an election year? I am also sick of hearing that gay people deserve love, too. Let me clarify before you jump my crap. I think we all deserve love, but gay marriage doesn't have anything to do with finding love. They've found someone they love. It has to do with celebrating that love. Let's stick to the issue of why gay marriage should be made legal or not. Politics doesn't govern who should fall in love and who doesn't. Love is one of those things that just happens, for whatever reason. So, in your arguments for or against, can we leave love out of it? They want rights. BIG difference. 
• There are schools above the Mason-Dixon line that are banning bake sales at schools due to childhood obesity. Oh my giddy aunt!! Bake sales aren't evil. Neither are baked goods. It's what you put into those baked goods that makes them horrible. Or, even more specifically, it's what's in the mix you use to make those baked goods. I make an incredibly delicious sweet potato chocolate cake that is very good for you. Not when I sit and eat the whole damn thing by myself, but you know what I mean. How about we start with banning high fructose corn syrup? How about we stop bleaching and enriching flour? How about we admit that good habits need to start at home? So many better things to do than ban bake sales.
• I also read an article (sometimes I should just not, but I get sucked in and there you go) That eating locally is not always better. It had to do with the carbon foot print and jobs and travel time and whatever. I call bullshit. I wish I had the link to the article. You could read it for yourself. I don't know if you know that it takes energy to get our food to us. From the cultivating the soil, to the growing, to the selling, to the transportation, every step takes energy. You actually use less energy and make a smaller carbon foot print when you buy local. Those jobs in California? I'm not really worried about them. They'll find someone to sell avocados to. As for freshness, it doesn't get better than pulling your dinner out of the garden and eating it. The article was basically saying that buying your food locally was tantamount to treason. Really? Please don't fall for that.
• Cameras are everywhere. Please wear underpants and don't pick your nose unless you want to see it on the internet.

I think that's enough to rile you up this morning. I'm feeling antsy. Like there's a bunch of stuff I need to do, but I'm not doing it. Guess that's my cue.

 

Whoo Wee!!

Has it really been that long since I've blogged? I am so sorry. Things have been a little nutso around here. Ok, things are always nutso around here, but now they're a different kind of nutso. Ready for an update blog? Good, 'cause that's what you're getting today. And it's gonna make me seem like a redneck, or at the least, a country bumkin.

• Hubby and I are great project starters. It's the finishing we have issue with. There are a couple of things that have become near and dear to our hearts and we were determined. The first was the garden. We worked very hard to get it built, filled, and growing. It is so beautiful. We have so much zucchini growing right now, I have visions of quick breads and muffins and stuffed and all kinds of different ways to make it. The tomatoes are rocking. So excited about all the fruits of the labors. We're hoping everything will start to ripen soon and we can start harvesting. I'm looking for a great homemade spaghetti sauce recipe. I'm also looking for a tomato sauce recipe. We could make our own ketchup and BBQ sauce. Yeah, we have plans.
• The second big project we worked on was the chicken coop. That was four days of back breaking, fall into bed exhausted work. At one point I had to keep repeating over and over "Just keep moving". I almost did the Dory thing but changed my mind. Hubby and I had talked about what we wanted the coop to look like, how the roosts should look, where we were going to put it. We talked about all that stuff. What we didn't do was meld our minds together so we could see each other's thoughts. That would have helped tremendously. It took us longer because we didn't SHOW each other what we were thinking. We had to talk about every frickin' step. Sometimes we even argued. But it looks really good for our first coop. If you go online you can buy kits. That's what we're doing next time. Or at least plans. That way all we have to do is follow the pattern and not talk the damn thing to death. But we got done just in time.
• The day after the coop was finished, the chickens arrived!! They are beautiful. So far we've named 5 of them. We have Glory, Babe, Pearl, Veronica, and Fluffy. Go figure, right? They were a little groggy from the trip when we picked them up. I don't know if that just happens or if they get a little extra something in their feed. They have certainly come alive since. We go out and watch them and hang out with them. I think the chickens are made of pot. We just sit and stare at them and smile. Sometimes we scratch ourselves. We always come in with the munchies, too. Craziest thing you ever saw. Sometimes I just have to go outside and stand by the cage and get a hit. And we got our first egg today!! We've had them for about 2 days and already have an egg. We'll see how the other ladies do.
• We were given some fig trees. They should do very well in our soil. We're going to plant them at the other end of the house from the garden. There isn't any room down by the garden. We have one that's ready to plant and three more that need another year or so. That should be interesting. I may have to learn how to make all things fig. I am not a fan of fig newtons, but if I made them I might like them. There's something that might keep me out of trouble for half a second. 
• We have 2 more 4x4 gardens we want to start and three 2x2 gardens. We want beans and peas. To get any decent amount of those you have to plant a butt load. I'm not sure if that's a real gardening term or not. We also want spinach, bok choy, and pickling cucumbers. That's our next big project. We need to hurry since we're already half way through April. Time is a wasting!!

That means I gotta run. I need to start dinner. I hate to say it, but we're having chicken. Not one of ours, though. That would be awkward at this point. See ya'!
 

Theme Parks with a Fashionista, or, You Really Went Out in Public Like THAT?!?!?!

When hubby and I get our taxes back, we always try to pay down a large bill and then do something fun for our family. This year we got Disney passes as the fun part. I wanted the Big Daddy passes that allow access to the water parks and some other fun things for free. But for our family of five, that was more money than I could justify. Instead, we got the Big Momma passes. We get discounts at the water parks and discounted access to those other things. The important part is that we also get free parking (wish we collected money like with Monopoly) and no blackout dates. Between our screwy days and hubby's screwy work schedule, it's nice to be able to go when we want.

The boy loves him some roller coasters. So does the big girl. The baby has never been big enough and is just now starting to get tall enough. The problem is my petite children. Although the baby is tall enough, she isn't big enough. And then this morning there's the report of the little girl that came off a carnival ride. She only had bumps and bruises, but it was a small ride. Not happening for the baby. When she gets some more bulk to her, I'll be ok. Hubby takes the two older kids on the rides and he rides with the boy. And holds onto him. One time the boy almost came off a ride as it plunged down the last steep hill and it scared the bejeezus out of hubby. If hubby can't go, the boy doesn't go. Period.

I can tell a story can't I? I always feel like you need the background. I think it's really so I can hear the sound of my own voice a little longer. I don't ask my kids that famous question: Do you think I'm talking just to hear the sound of my own voice? The answer is yes, yes I am. Anyway, all of the first two paragraphs to say that the baby and I have some free time on our hands while the others are riding. Can I say that my two new favorite words are "fast pass"? Not as much wating time. Loving that. The baby and I wander the stores or try to find a ride to go on that doesn't involve spinning or jerky movements. Sometimes it works. Sometimes we just try to find a shady spot to sit. And watch people.

You would think people would know better. They don't. Did they look in the mirror? They DID!! And liked what they saw. Why? Is the mirror dirty? Do you need glasses? Both? Maybe they just don't know any better. They should. C'mon people, use a little common sense. Yeah, I know, it isn't that common. Big sigh. Here are just a few observations. My eyes will never be the same.

• Keep your bra to yourself. I don't need to see that you are wearing a bra that clashes, intentionally, with your tank top. Really? They have these great clips you hook to the back of your bras that will make the straps fit the racer back style of tank tops. That way, I don't have to see your tacky bra and you look like you went up a cup size. We bought some for the big girl for dance one year. Her costume had a racer back and there was no way she was letting it all hang out and we didn't have the money to buy a fancy bra with clear straps. That you can still see. She said she never felt it, even while she was dancing. They were $5 at the dollar store. One cup size, huh? I may have to start using them. And if your shirt isn't made to wear a bra with it, as in loose and flowy and low cut, and you have large breasts, wear something else. I do not need to know that you bought your bra at Victoria's Secret. Your bra should stay a secret. Leaves a little mystery. Anyone know what that is? Yeah, I didn't think so.
• Leggings are NOT pants!! Oh my giddy aunt, how many times do I need to say that?!?! 'Cause I will say it over and over and over!! If the material is stretched so thin that I can see your underwear, or the fact that you aren't wearing any, you're wearing the wrong pants. The only ass I want to see is hubby's. And Matthew McConaughey's. But they aren't women. I think they should ban flesh colored leggings. There is only one reason you wear that. They're attention getting. But you're getting the wrong kind of attention. People are pointing and laughing. I know because I've seen them. I just gripe about it. And really, if you don't have the butt of an 18 year old, firm and perky, you really should cover that thing up if you're going to wear leggings. Ugh!
• Don't think I'm only picking on the ladies. I am an equal opportunity fashion basher. Gentlemen, and I use that term loosely, pull up your damn pants!! I don't give a shit what kind of underwear you're wearing. I really don't care to see the stains on your tighty whiteys. Yuck! It's a prison thing that means you are available for the men to come tap your ass. And I don't mean with their hands. And if you have to walk bow legged to keep your pants from falling down, you have gone from ridiculous to ridiculous AND stupid. Pull them up where they belong. Please!!
• Men should not wear capris. They aren't cute. I've tried to learn to appreciate the look. I just can't. I don't get it. It doesn't look right. Specially when they wear them loose and slung low. And with a wife beater. You do know why they call them a wife beater, right? Because you look like you beat your wife. Come into the now...
• And finally, for men and women, crack kills. Pull it up, wear a belt. Suspenders are making a comeback. I don't like women's jeans. They come up to my waist and cut me in half. They make me look like a two lump snow woman. I buy most of my jeans in the juniors department. They are cut lower and sit on my hips or below my waist. They fit my silhouette better. The problem is that they are slung super low most of the time. I have to wear a belt or I'm showing the world my undies and beyond. I just love the fact that I can wear juniors jeans AND a belt. As someone that has been over weight for the majority of my life, that is a great accomplishment for me. I'm still carrying 20 more pounds than I need to, but this too shall pass. I always make sure before I bend over or sit down that I'm covered . Nobody needs to see that. 

I went jeans shopping this summer with big sis. I knew when I went out to Texas that my pants were too big. I could take them off and put them on without unbuttoning or unzipping them. I don't get much of an opportunity to shop by myself for myself and when I take the kids they get fidgety after about 30 minutes. She made me get a size smaller, which were still too big. And then a smaller size, which fit but were a little tighter than I like. Then a size smaller, which fit, but when I sat down, they couldn't contain all my awesomeness and it spilled over the top. UGLY! So I went back up one size. But that's also how I started looking like the aformentioned snow woman. They fit and feel good, but lumpy is what I am. That's why I always bought a bigger size. They didn't cut me in half. Of course, the stress of the holidays helped that when I lost about 18 pounds in a month. But when the stress went away and I could eat again, I gained some of that back. Our no sugar for Lent has helped trim some of the extras and I look better and feel better. I also hope I know my limitations. The big girl and I have a deal in the dressing room. Total honesty without brutality. I like that deal and so does she. Now if I could go into the dressing room with those people that like to wear leggings and show their cracks...

Really?

Just a quick one, because it's hilarious.

I love my youth kids like I birthed them. Praise band having a hard night. Lead singer drops the microphone and walks off the stage after the last song. Band goes storming off after him. Some major issues going on. I couldn't go after them right then, right there, but make a point that I need to talk to them later.

About 20 minutes later, the rest of the kids are heading to the youth house after announcements and stuff. I go upstairs to look for hubby. Hubby has already taken his charges over. The lead singer, drummer, and guitar player are sitting on the floor, looking pretty serious about something and obviously don't want to be bothered.

Me: What ya' doin'?

Drummer: Talking.

Me: What ya' talking about?

Guitar player: Stuff

They know me. They should have known that wasn't going to play with me. I sat down. You should have seen the looks on their faces. Shock that I sat down, shock that I would interrupt, shock that I would stay with them.

We sat and talked for almost 45 minutes about what was on their minds. But, they felt better when we were done. My advice was to not throw up road blocks where there are none. My repeated statement was "Are you going to let that stop you?" The answer, finally, "No. We can do this." Thank you, my sweet boys.

What are talking about? Stuff. Really? Like I'm a sucker.

Gosh, I love my kids.