A Few Things

Hillside Hollow does a 7 quick takes on her blog. I don't know if I have 7, but I have a few.

• Recital is over. That means another year of dance down. I love dance. The kids were amazing. I posted some pictures on the other blog. I'll get the videos downloaded when I get to high speed connection. I would like to send a big shout out to the ladies in my tap class that participated. Much love to you, ladies. You were so very, very good. Maybe next year; I don't know. The big girl and I are thinking about taking jazz next year. I love my tap class, I just feel like a little something different. I think the big girl is ready, too. She's done hip hop for the last 4 years. We were going to try to take summer classes, but we just aren't going to be able to afford it. Oh, well.
• Our illustrious leader is an idiot. Because BP screwed up, he is shutting down the other rigs in the area. I don't know if that's to try to take the pressure and attention away from them and the mess in the gulf, I just know it's wrong. There goes the production of domestic oil, which means HUGE prices at the gas pump. Get ready for $4 a gallon prices and higher. That just makes us more dependent on foreign oil and Muslim countries and puts more Americans out of work. Way to go!
• I had a great day at co-op. I really like our veggie co-op. I call it veggie, but we get fruit from there as well. I really like the lady that runs it and feel like I have made a true friend. I have also gotten to know a fellow homeschool mom better. Love that. Good, solid, relationships are so important. It feels good to have surrounded our family with like minded people. The food is amazing. One lady says I have talked her in to buying the organic garlic. She won't switch back now. I'm not really sorry. It is a little more oily, but that makes more flavor. It's funny because I don't want to wash my hands. I like the smell of the garlic. I just look weird walking around the house smelling my hands. The kids just roll their eyes and give me that look. You know the look. It's the "My mom is crazy" look. Kiddos, you don't know the half of it.
• Hubby is mostly done digging the hole for the pool. I'm not excited. Yet. When the hole is done and the frame is going up, I'll be excited. When the pool is being filled up and chlorine is being added, I'll be excited. When I am floating and working on my tan at the same time, I'll be excited. Until then, the update is that the hole is almost complete.
• Hubby and I have put ourselves on a "no extras" budget. We are nickel and diming ourselves half to death. We look at our check register and see the same thing over and over and over. We have gone to making a menu for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We plan the meals around veggie co-op so we know what produce we'll have. Then I check my coupon websites and make a grocery list. There are a couple of things that always go on the shopping list: ground turkey, ground beef, milk, eggs, and bread. The rest is planned to within an inch of it's life. My friend M was a little surprised that we plan for all three meals, but we have to. I won't have something I need if I don't. And amazingly, hubby actually sits down and helps me. I love that man.
• We are going to eventually switch the pool to a salt water pool. Chlorine is so horrible for you. And if you get wrong levels, it can really do a number on you. Our water softener system and the pool will be salt. Huh, hadn't thought about that before. Of course, no real planning until the pool goes up.
• We are the proud new owners of three tomato plants, one cucumber, two pepper, and one eggplant. Hubby stopped at his mom and dad's and she loaded him up. They all have stuff on them already. We just need to remember to water them and we could actually have a crop this summer. Hubby is going to build a shade or cover for them. We don't have any shade, and it gets hot at noon. All that sun beating down on the poor little plants. They'll wish they could swim in the pool pretty soon, too. We'll see how we do.
• We are also the proud new owners of a hand me down computer. We put it in the big girl's room. It also belonged to my in laws. It is strictly for school. There will be no internet access to it. I'm going to load our Spanish program and typing on it. Hopefully, it'll get used. Apparently it got a virus. We need to check it out. We may need to wipe it clean and reset it before we do anything to it. Great. More junk. I need that like I need another hole in my head. It will go back if it doesn't work, that's for sure.

Wow, that was more than 7 and I still have stuff to say. Amazing. Not really because I like to talk. And talk, and talk. I guess I'll wrap it up. Until next time when I talk your ear off again. See ya'.

Legally

I have stayed away from the political for awhile. I was making hubby nervous. He's so funny. I am pretty opinionated and love to express myself. He's worried I'm being monitored. Let them monitor. I haven't made any inflammatory statements, so whatever. Moving on. I think it's about time to state my opinion on Arizona. Everytime I hear the name of the state, I think about Ron White. "They run two a day through Arizona." Hilarious. Anyway...

The feds are bad mouthing AZ. The people of AZ are protesting. There is a big push across the country to boycott the state and withhold much needed tourism dollars. All of this because of the immigration law they just passed. It's not even really an immigration law, but an illegal alien law. It doesn't really deal much with immigration, but it does deal with people entering this country illegally. And it isn't even a new law. It just says that the state will now enforce the law that has already been put in place by the federal government. The federal government just isn't enforcing the law. The state has had to take matters into it's own hands.

Arizona, specifically the Phoenix area, has a very high kidnapping rate, one of the highest in the nation. The majority of the kidnappings are those of illegal immigrants. Mexico is so busy fighting corrupton and drug cartels that they don't have much time to worry about it. But our resources are being spent on people that have chosen to live here, live off of our systems, and do this illegally. Most of the kidnappings are done to force the family to work for the drug cartels and for ransom money that the families don't have.

The president (do I really have to go there) has decided that instead of backing the state in their efforts to control who comes across our borders, instead of offering mad props to a state that has finally said enough is enough, has decided instead to bad mouth the governor and the good people of Arizona. Not surprising really since he seems to think that the root of all evil in the world is the US. You are not ingratiating yourself to a group that vote for you. They are illegal and do not have the right to vote. The US Attorney General, who is an idiot in his own right, has said that he does not agree with a bill that allows racial profiling (again, Ron White comes to mind. If you haven't seen him do stand up, please do. Funny, funny, funny.). This is the same man that is trying the 911 conspirators. They are prisoners of war and should be treated as such, but the arrogance takes over. The problem with both of these men is that they haven't read the bill. It specifically states that there has to be contact by law enforcement. That means that they cannot just pull someone off the street and ask for their papers. The police have to be called to a scene, or pull someone over for a valid traffic stop. Instead, they choose to bad mouth.

There are countries around the world that have very strict immigration laws. There are some countries that will throw you in prison for crossing their borders. What do we do? We tell them if they have a baby here, they can stay. Then you can have money from our broken system of welfare and we will support you. You can work really hard for money under the table that you don't have to pay taxes on to replenish the money you are sponging off the system. We will make it even easier for you by teaching your children how to speak English and go to our schools for free. Schools you don't support by the way because you don't pay taxes. We will even label our food products, signage, and everything else in your language because we need to make it easier for you to live here. That is the biggest crock of shit. Other countries require you to learn the language. English is not the language of the world anymore, but it is the language of this country. I know that we have more immigrants than those from Mexico and other Spanish speaking countries, but those are the ones that are making the most noise about this law.

I guess the big question is where I stand on immigration. I think that you need to do it the right way. I think you need to learn the language. I think that if you take from the system, you need to give back to the system. These are my opinions. Do not think for one miniute that the Obama loving main stream media is giving you all the info on this issue or any other. Do your own search. Listen to the 70% of the citizens of Arizona that voted for this law. Our next vacation may be to Arizona. We are choosing to support the laws of our country. I know, I've broken a couple. Some of our laws are stupid. But this one has to do with the security of our country. We aren't talking about parking your elephant downtown on Sundays. Look that one up. I think it's Georgia. We're talking about the security of our country in a time where it seems everyone wants to kill us or demean us or make us a socialist country.

I don't have all the answers. I'm great for ambiguity sometimes. But I do know that I am proud to be an American. If you live in this country, you should be, too.

Marriage

My MIL accused me and hubby of something the other day. We were sitting outside on her front porch, watching hubby play with the kids. They were laughing, I was teasing them about who knows what. Then she said it. "You have the closest thing to a perfect marriage I have ever seen." Uh-oh. Is that like a curse? Is that as bad as tattooing someone's name on your body? We then proceeded to talk about the marriages of two of her other sons, which are in shambles due to many, many reasons. I could talk about those for days, but that's not the reason for this blog. We talked about why our marriage works. Here's what I came up with.

Communication is key. I was in a relationship before hubby that was horrible. I was told what to do and what opinion to have. For those that know me now, you probably can't believe that, can you? When hubby and I met, I told him if we couldn't communicate at any point, there was no reason for a relationship. But I don't just mean talking. Communicating is about so much more. It's about listening. I don't mean hearing. I mean hearing and understanding together which equals listening. We don't have to agree, but we have to listen. We have to be able to communicate for our relationship to work. Does that mean we don't argue? We can argue with the best of them. We've even had a couple of knock down, drag out fights, just without the actual knocking down and dragging out. If we have to walk away for a minute, or minutes, then we do. But we come back and try to finish it without judgement and yelling. We try to see the other's side of things. Do we always agree? No, we don't. But we can compromise. That is a great word.

Compromise is very important. We can communicate all we want, but if we don't meet halfway sometimes, it can still be a failure. I may not like what he wants to do. He may not like what I want to do. But if we communicate the reasons, we can come up with a compromise. I don't always have the reasons, but I try to explain anyway. Hubby has to take a few minutes sometimes to collect himself. But as long as we listen and try to understand, we can come up with a compromise. I've even gotten better at compromising with my kids. It doesn't always have to be my way or the highway. Did I say that out loud?

Honesty is the best policy. I cannot, and will not, do anything without hubby knowing. If I can't tell my hubby whatI'm thinking or doing, if I try to hide something from him, I feel bad. I get physically ill, from a belly ache to a head ache and stuff in between. I don't even bother anymore. I call him. I'll tell him what I'm thinking about and get his opinion. That way, we both have a say in the decision. He says it's so I can blame him. But he knows it's always his fault whether he agreed or not. I can always make it his fault. Do I always do what hubby says? Hell, no. I'm no lap dog. But he can talk me down from the ledge like nobody's business. I tend to be very spontaneous while he tends to want to think about it.

There would be no marriage without love. I could quote that great verse from the bible, but I won't. I love my husband. He loves me back. There is no better feeling than being loved by my man. I love the way he looks at me, touches me, kisses me. Hold on, I'm getting a mental image I would like to explore. Yes, there's that, too. But what I'm talking about goes so much deeper. My heart aches when he's not with me. He still makes my palms sweat and I get nervous around him when we're on a date. Crazy, isn't it? I know that God hand picked hubby for me and I take that very seriously. And with love, comes the most important aspect of our marriage.

Respect is, by far, the most important aspect of our marriage. Love without respect isn't love. Communication without respect is one sided. Compromise without respect is being beaten down. Without respect, there can be none of the above. We support each other when making decisions about raising the children, spending money, or just spending time. I know that when I speak, he is actually listening and taking in the things that I am saying. That is a two way street. I don't just dismiss things as they come out of his mouth. He doesn't do that to me. We make time to spend together, just us, to connect and foster that feeling of respect. We touch, we cuddle, we connect with each other physically, mentally, and emotionally. That leads to a greater respect for each other. It just makes it better.

I'm not trying to brag. I'm not trying to tell you how to run your marriage or relationship. I just know what hubby and I do and what works for us. It has led to a 15 year marriage that works and is going strong. We have put our faith in God, who created this union, to guide us where we need to go. We try to do the best we can by and for each other. We just love being together.

Growing Up

Growing up sucks. Let's face it, it's hard. You have to figure out who you are, what you believe in, who you can trust and believe. And all the while, you have hormones raging through your body making thinking almost impossible. Everything is an ordeal. Everything is important. At least when I was growing up it was that way. Now I have to watch my big girl go through it. If I could put my kids in a bubble so nothing would ever hurt them, I would. I know this is about the big girl and I should probably put this on my other blog. But that one is linked to Facebook and I don't feel like everyone and their brother reading it. My followers are one thing. Most of you know my big girl.

We are dealing with body image issues. Ack! Hubby and I have tried very gard to keep most of the junk out of the lives of our kids. We don't focus on the outside, but tell them that what is important is what's on the inside. We tell them that God made them the way He wants them. Everything was going fine until one of the big girl's friends got ahold of her. Really? I could ring her scrawny little neck. Here's what happened.

We were going swimming at a friend's house. The big girl says as we are getting ready to leave, "Can I wear parts of two different suits?" I should have said yes, but I have isssues. One of them is finding half of an outfit in the wash. I go crazy trying to find the other half. When I can't, when I find out it didn't get worn, it bugs me. I'm working on my issues, so back off. Besides, this is about her, not me. I ask her why and she says, "I have isssues with my body". Thank you for being honest, but you could have knocked me over with a feather. Since when is what I want to ask her, but not with the other two kids there. It took a couple of days to get to a point where we could be alone, but I certainly didn't want to advertise this conversation. This is how that went.

Apparently, her friend AF has been calling her chubby. Have you seen my big girl? Chubby is far from what she is. You have to realize though that when AF turns sideways, she disappears. The big girl is curvy. She has the body of a 15 year old and she's only 11. Match that with her beautiful face and I'm in trouble. Of course, hubby is a gun owner. Just throwing that out there. AF even had the big girl running around the park one day doing exercises to shape up. Are you kidding me? I could smack her. I asked the big girl why she did what her "friend" told her to do. She took a second and said, very eloquently, "I don't know. I think about it now and know how silly it was, but at the time I wasn't thinking about that". Thank you for your honesty.

This opened up a great conversation about what a true friend is. It opened up great conversations about body image. It opened up great conversations about how magazines and movies and TV shows use lots of tricks to make people look beautiful. It opened up great conversations about insecurities and mean girls. We talked for almost an hour about these things and how they affect her and her confidence. In the end I told her that nobody has the right to tell her how she should feel about her body. I told her to not let her friends determine what she thinks about herself. Real friends would not say those things or act the way AF did. I told her I had to talk to AF's mother. She was alright with that.

When I talked to her mom, it went really well. I thought. I let her know that those topics were not to be talked about anymore. I let her know that those names she was calling my daughter were unacceptable. Then she said, "She has mentioned before to my daughter that she thought she was fat". My response: "Irregardless of what my daughter has said, calling her chubby sure didn't help". Do not excuse away the actions you know were wrong. You know how she is and how she gets. Do not think for one second that I will not step into that relationship and nip it in the bud if I need to.

I am grateful and thankful that I have a relationship with my daughter that allows open discussion. I am grateful and thankful that she feels comfortable enough to talk to me about her life and what she is going through. I am grateful and thankful that she stood up to her friend at the park the Friday after our conversation and told her her actions were unacceptable and not appreciated. I am grateful and thankful that I am the mother to such a beautiful and wonderful child of God.

I am praying that she takes our conversations to heart. I am praying that she realizes that she is beautiful, inside and out. I am praying that she always comes to me with her problems. I am praying that growing up will not be so hard on her. I am praying, I am praying, I am praying.