I love to read. Some of what I read is really good, and unfortunately, some of it really isn't. But I just finished a book that really made me think about some things that hubby and I have been talking about.
Hubby and I have decided that we would like to do some things for our bodies that we have never really thought about before.In fact, I have some friends that do this, but for many years I have discounted the effects. We are trying to get our bodies more healthy and rely more on natural cures and supplements. He has been listening to a radio program that promotes healthy living and a healthy life style.
Of course we know that when some one is promoting a product that they produce, there is an inflated positive overview of the products. So I went to a friend of mine that has no special interest in the products to ask her opinion. She was very positive about the changes we wanted to make and about the products that we wanted to try. She agreed that we should take things slowly until we are comfortable and happy about the results. Hubby got a multivitamin and I got a B vitamin combo that is supposed to help with your energy levels. Hubby says he's scared to see me with more energy. I am too, to tell you the truth.
On to the book review.
I just finished "Against Medical Advise" written by James Patterson and a friend of his. The friend has a son that fought a 13 year battle with Tourettes, OCD, and a severe anxiety disorder. It was very moving and thought provoking and it brought up some questions that I have already been having about mass produced pharmaceuticals.
The boy in the story, whose name is Cory, had an urge at four, almost five, to shake his head. And he didn't have the urge to stop for a very long time. Over the next few years, he saw countless doctors and was put on over 60 medications. They tried meds for Parkinson's, Alzheimers, anxiety, allergies, and who knows what else. His mother had to quit her job to manage the number of pills and MD visits that Cory had. In the end, the only medication that worked for him was alcohol.
He was a chain smoker. He fell asleep in a drunken stupor one night and almost set his house on fire when a cigarette fell out of his mouth and onto the couch cushions. His attendance at school was almost nothing because he couldn't cope with his conditions and his meds. His body would decide that it needed to make certain movements or gestures and he would do them. Whether they were appropriate for the situation or not, he would flip people off, or even just raise his hand. When he went through door ways he had to do a shuffling skip hop move before he could actually enter a room.
Cory made his mother wreck her car pretty badly and could have been killed when he grabbed the steering wheel one day and turned into the path of an oncoming vehicle. He was riding in the car with his father one day and had the urge to tap the steering wheel. His father made him sit in the back seat. He would touch people whether they wanted to be touched or not. He had almost no friends, and although he had an almost genius IQ, he was relegated to remedial classes because of his behavior.
He had no real friends to speak of. The people that he hung out with were the ones that had issues of their own, but only wanted to be around him when they wanted something from him. He excelled at baseball and later football, but had to quit both because of the fog the meds put him in. He couldn't function or control some of the worst of his body tics. The worse he got, the higher his anxiety. The meds did horrible things for him and to him. At one point he weighed almost 300 pounds because he couldn't stop eating. He had no control over his body or his emotions.
His parents had done everything they could do for him and were going to put him in rehab. The rehab place scared him so bad, he refused to go. His parents finally relented and checked him out AMA- against medical advise. And then he did something for himself. He quit all the meds and the alcohol and went to Wilderness Camp.
It was the camp that teens go to to clean themselves up. Sometimes his body would start ticcing and he couldn't do anything about it. Several times he fell behind the rest of the group and had to fight to catch up. He went without meals because he was unable to prepare them. If you don't help, you don't eat. He realized after several days that he no longer wanted or needed a cigarette or a drink. He worked his butt off, literally and figuratively, and got to come home.
His parents put him in a very advanced prep school that focused primarily on academics and working hard. He would stay up well into the night trying to catch up all the work and keep up. He finally ran away and went home. His parents were relieved, saddened, and angry all at the same time.
I am not doing this story justice in my description, but he eventually made it. And his Tourettes, OCD, and anxiety issues became a mute point and disappeared almost entirely. It is a fantastic story about perseverance and love and doing what is best for you.
So here's how all of this ties together. I am not a health nut. I have switched from regular white, empty carbs to healthier whole grain and whole wheat carbs. I have added more fresh veggies into our diet and have tried to cut down the sugar and the junk. My next big accomplishment would be the elimination of high fructose corn syrup, but that is a slow process, since it is in everything that is packaged and processed.
I wish that more MDs would look at healthier alternatives than just a pill. Watching the ads for some of the meds that are out there now, I cannot imagine why anyone would even attempt to take some of the meds that are out there. The side effects are scary. Why do I want to take a pill that gives me both diarrhea and constipation? How does that work exactly? Is it putting in a plug, and blowing it out? Eeewww!
Looking at some of the healthier alternatives and listening to people that have no vested interest in a certain product, I think I would rather take the alternative route. Native Americans and indigenous people all over the world have used alternative medicine for centuries. With great results I might add. I would rather take a pill that had nothing but naturally occuring plants than take one that has man made things in it. Seeing all of the recalls from the FDA makes me extremely leary of any medication that had been approved. There are no long term studies to see the significant effects over a period of time. And yes, I know that every body is different and reacts to meds differently, but I don't care.
I wonder if Cory could have been helped all those years ago by a doctor that believed in alternatives to a magic pill. None of the pills did anything for him except drug him up. He still had his tics, he still had horrible mental thoughts, and he still did things that he could not control. His mother at one point had to give him several doses of Benadryl to help him sleep through the horrible side effects of some of the medicines. I find myself leaning more and more to the "healthy alternative" lifestyle than the "please give me a pill". I do like my Oxycodone, but that's for the buzz. Don't judge, just read and respond.
I'll wrap this up by saying that we will no longer immunize our children. It is not your place to tell me I'm wrong. I have no confidence in the drug companies or the major pharmaceutical companies. I am more scared of the side effects of the immunization than not immunizing. We are trying to keep as many positives in our lives and in our bodies as we can. A freind of hubby's made a comment one day about his preference for a certain herb that shall remain nameless than drinking alcohol: God made ---, man made beer. Who do you trust?
This is a decison that we have given considerable thought to and was not made overnight. We are looking into alternatives for the boy's allergies and the big girl's headaches, as well as our own aches and pains. We have done the research and know where we want to go and where we want our bodies to be. We are choosing a healthy alternative to the same old, same old.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
So much to say...
... so little time.
I wa sitting at dance class tonight talking to one if the other moms. She is a teacher and apparently there was an incident at one of the schools. Since my kids no longer go to public school, I was not privy to the story.
Apparently, at the middle school next to the elementary that the big girl attended in first grade, a girl performed oral sex an a boy. Or maybe more than one. I'm not really sure. I went into a little bit of shock. The boys surrounded the girl so that the teachers wouldn't see. Somebody found out. But in the big picture, we are talking about 11-13 year olds. What the hell is going on? How bad do things have to get before people wake up from their comas and get a grip on their children?
When did working and having things over shadow the importance of raising our children to have a sense of self worth and knowing that giving a blow job in middle school might make you popular, but it will also make you a slut? Where are her parents? Where is the safe place that she can go to open her mind and not her mouth? What the hell is happening and what is going to happen to our future with these types of children running our country? Where did the sense of entitlement come from?
When Paris Hilton becomes a role model, do we not know that our country is in critical condition? And Jessica Simpson? I am embarrased that she and President Bush are from Texas. I moved to Florida so that I wouldn't live in a Bush run state. Little did I know that his brother Jeb would become the governor of Florida. But Jeb actually did some really good things for this state. He did some not good things as well, but I digress. Where have the morals and values gone?
And the part that is the most frightening: there have been five rapes at that school. We are talking about a middle school, not high school or college. It would be bad enough at those schools, but middle school. And people wonder why I don't want my kids in public school. Well, there's one reason, or five.
When did our country become "all about me"? And I know that not everybody is like that. But go to the mall and tell me that you can only count on one hand the number of girls wearing clothes that are too tight, too low cut, too whatever for their age. I saw it at the high school football game that we went to. I just wanted to tell them that could cover up. If a boy doesn't respect you for your mind and then your body, he is exactly that: a boy. Save some of your self respect.
I am trying so hard to raise my daughters to respect themselves and it is not easy in today's society. I am trying to raise my son to respect women, not slobber all over them. But we need that for all of our youth today. I am hoping, and praying, that this country will somehow get back on track to realize what is important. And it isn't how much leg you have showing or anything else. It should be about the size of your brain.
I wa sitting at dance class tonight talking to one if the other moms. She is a teacher and apparently there was an incident at one of the schools. Since my kids no longer go to public school, I was not privy to the story.
Apparently, at the middle school next to the elementary that the big girl attended in first grade, a girl performed oral sex an a boy. Or maybe more than one. I'm not really sure. I went into a little bit of shock. The boys surrounded the girl so that the teachers wouldn't see. Somebody found out. But in the big picture, we are talking about 11-13 year olds. What the hell is going on? How bad do things have to get before people wake up from their comas and get a grip on their children?
When did working and having things over shadow the importance of raising our children to have a sense of self worth and knowing that giving a blow job in middle school might make you popular, but it will also make you a slut? Where are her parents? Where is the safe place that she can go to open her mind and not her mouth? What the hell is happening and what is going to happen to our future with these types of children running our country? Where did the sense of entitlement come from?
When Paris Hilton becomes a role model, do we not know that our country is in critical condition? And Jessica Simpson? I am embarrased that she and President Bush are from Texas. I moved to Florida so that I wouldn't live in a Bush run state. Little did I know that his brother Jeb would become the governor of Florida. But Jeb actually did some really good things for this state. He did some not good things as well, but I digress. Where have the morals and values gone?
And the part that is the most frightening: there have been five rapes at that school. We are talking about a middle school, not high school or college. It would be bad enough at those schools, but middle school. And people wonder why I don't want my kids in public school. Well, there's one reason, or five.
When did our country become "all about me"? And I know that not everybody is like that. But go to the mall and tell me that you can only count on one hand the number of girls wearing clothes that are too tight, too low cut, too whatever for their age. I saw it at the high school football game that we went to. I just wanted to tell them that could cover up. If a boy doesn't respect you for your mind and then your body, he is exactly that: a boy. Save some of your self respect.
I am trying so hard to raise my daughters to respect themselves and it is not easy in today's society. I am trying to raise my son to respect women, not slobber all over them. But we need that for all of our youth today. I am hoping, and praying, that this country will somehow get back on track to realize what is important. And it isn't how much leg you have showing or anything else. It should be about the size of your brain.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Tying up some loose ends
Hubby was talking to his boss today and the subject of the transfers came up. His boss said that if he hasn't gotten a phone call yet, he probably didn't get the job. But that's alright, too. His boss asked him what area he was trying to get to. Hubby told him and he said he would make a few calls.
Sometimes, I'm not sure how to take his boss. Hubby is the "go to" guy. If they need someone to do a serious job, or one with a very demanding customer, then hubby is usually the one to go. He has this very laid back attitude and I think it helps calms people down. It's hard to be angry at someone that doesn't get angry back. He listens to their problem and does eveything he can to solve it. How can you stay angry at that?
He has had two complaints about his work. One was from a woman who called and complained about everyone they sent out. Normally, he's the one that gets the "way to go". He has several of those. He's even had customers get on the phone while he is there and tell his boss what a good job he did.
But it seems like his boss would really like for him to go somewhere else. Almost like hubby makes him look bad. Then other times, he can't go another day unless hubby is there. Maybe he's not taking his meds. Or maybe he isn't taking enough. Maybe the voices are telling him what to do. No, that's the voices in my head.
But we are still going to try to come home for Thanksgiving. I miss my family. It gets pretty bad this time of year. I have no family out here, it's all hubby's. They are great people, but I still want my family. Christmas can be a real downer for me. Halloween is my favorite holiday. There isn't much sentimentality attached to it.
It's late. I'm going to bed. And hopefully I'll get to see you all soon.
Sometimes, I'm not sure how to take his boss. Hubby is the "go to" guy. If they need someone to do a serious job, or one with a very demanding customer, then hubby is usually the one to go. He has this very laid back attitude and I think it helps calms people down. It's hard to be angry at someone that doesn't get angry back. He listens to their problem and does eveything he can to solve it. How can you stay angry at that?
He has had two complaints about his work. One was from a woman who called and complained about everyone they sent out. Normally, he's the one that gets the "way to go". He has several of those. He's even had customers get on the phone while he is there and tell his boss what a good job he did.
But it seems like his boss would really like for him to go somewhere else. Almost like hubby makes him look bad. Then other times, he can't go another day unless hubby is there. Maybe he's not taking his meds. Or maybe he isn't taking enough. Maybe the voices are telling him what to do. No, that's the voices in my head.
But we are still going to try to come home for Thanksgiving. I miss my family. It gets pretty bad this time of year. I have no family out here, it's all hubby's. They are great people, but I still want my family. Christmas can be a real downer for me. Halloween is my favorite holiday. There isn't much sentimentality attached to it.
It's late. I'm going to bed. And hopefully I'll get to see you all soon.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Who I Am
I think that we can all agree that who we were is not necessarily who we are. If you had known me when I was younger, you would not think that I was the same person. But sometimes, when life steps in the way, we just have to dance around it.
When I was a kid and growing up, I was so incredibly shy. Most everybody that knows me now is laughing. No, really, I mean it. But there was my "out there" side that very few people know about. If we had a project that had to be presented to the class, I almost couldn't do it. My palms would sweat, my face would turn red, my heart would race. I would feel like I was going to pass out.
Some of you have heard my story about calling to order a pizza for the first time. I was 15, and my mom was out of town. She had left enough money for my sister and I to feed ourselves for the weekend and I wanted pizza. My sister was working and I was hungry. So I called and ordered a pizza. I thought I was going to throw up. How crazy is that? I didn't have to see the person, but the act of ordering a pizza the first time made me almost lose my mind with fear.
But then there was that other side. The side that got really tired of people telling me how good I was. And how sweet I was. And how my sister was always getting into trouble and I was so good not to get in trouble. They knew so little. And it all started when I was about 16.
Most of you don't know that I was high most of the time from about 13-14. The first time I smoked a joint, I thought I could do that for the rest of my life. None of my friends knew, none of my teachers, not my sister or my mother. And my father would have killed me dead on the spot if he had known. Mom would drop me off in the morning and I would find my dope friends and get high. Then I would get high between classes. And then at lunch. And then after school. I still graduated with a 4.+. It's my darn IQ. It's off the charts, on the high side.
I finally quit when one night after I had hallucinations. I was riding around the lake one night, smoking dope with my friends. I saw lights coming at us, but I couldn't make out what they were. And then I saw them again. And then again. The last time I decided I would see if I could see where they were going. When I turned my head, the lights turned red. It completely freaked me out. I was too high to know that they were cars that were passing us. I decided that was enough for me. Not that I quit for good.
I picked it up again later when I lived in Austin. What a great town that is. I actually worked with my dealer. I was her boss. Sounds crazy doesn't it? Live my life, man. But never walk in my shoes. Where was I? Oh, yeah.
My best friend and my sister's best friend were sisters. We used to watch our sisters do really stupid things and get caught. I would look at my best friend and say, "Not only can we do that, but we can do it better and not get caught." And boy did we do it better. And we never got caught. I did get busted by my mom one time when I was drunk, but she told me to never come home drunk again. I did, I just didn't tell her. I could tell you stories that would make you wonder how I am still alive. The only thing I can tell you is by the grace of God. One day I'll tell you about getting left at a party where I knew nobody once my friends left me. The guys who gave me a ride home could very well have given me something else as out of it as I was, but somehow I got home in one piece, and alive and unhurt.
I had decided at one point that I didn't want to be the shy, wall flower that I had been all my life. So to compensate I went way the other way. I was bold and out there and in your face. And man, could I ever get in your face.
When I moved to Austin, I got to be really good friends with the decorator that worked in our store. She was amazed that at 22, I knew who Peter Frampton was. His "Frampton Comes Alive" album is the second greatest live album behind Cheap Trick's "Live at Budokan". She asked me to go dancing one night. She had had a really bad wreck a couple of years previously and had pins and screws in her knee. She had just had them taken out and finished rehab and was ready to try it out. She didn't know that I was one hell of a dancer. Still am actually. I love to dance, but again, that's for another time. After dancing our asses off for a few hours, she deemed me worthy to party with. I am pretty cool to hang out with. That was all it took to let it all out with my new group of friends.
We were out partying with a group of female friends when one of them spotted a really hot guy at the bar. Of course, nobody would go talk to him. But they dared me to grab his butt. I just rolled my eyes at them, finished my drink in one swallow, and headed for the bar. I walked over to him and introduced myself. I pointed out my group of friends, and told him that they wanted me to grab his ass. So I politely asked if it would be OK if I did that. He agreed and let me grab his fine, fine ass. And what a nice handful that was. Then he bought me a drink. He said that was the first time a beautiful woman had approached him like that. I told him he would never meet anyone quite like me again.
When I got my job in Vegas, I was nervous as anything to move to another city where I knew 1 person. I told you I was out there. I think that I overcompensated the other way. I was too bold, too out there, too in your face at times. I drove out there all by myself from Ft. Worth. My mother was so scared for me. Sometimes I was, too, but I made it. I did get to see a part of the country that was new to me. And it was beautiful. But a word to the wise. Do not drive in New Mexico or Arizona during a hail storm. That wasn't the smartest thing I have ever done, but again, I made it.
My first night in Vegas sort of set the tone for the year I lived there. I called my friend, who at that time was really a friend of my mother's. She said her husband had just left for Saudi Arabia, and I should come out to the bar with her. Alcohol? OK. So I fixed myself up and out the door I went. I had my big Texas hair, a shirt that showed off the ladies, and I was driving my Eagle Talon. I looked damn good in that car. I miss it sometimes while I'm driving my minivan.
No sooner had we walked in the bar, that happened to be on the Air Force base, that I get propositioned. But not even directly. We walked into the bathroom almost as soon as we got there and this girl walks in behind us. She asked if I had seen the guy sitting at the first table. I said sure. She said, "He would really like to fuck you." Yeah, stand in line, buddy. I told her if he was enlisted, he didn't make enough money. I was really high maintenance. And the rest of the time I was there, I was surrounded by men. I loved that town. Even when I started dating my husband, they didn't care. When I got engaged, it was like a red flag to a bull.
The first time a bunch of us got together to go out, we went dancing. Vegas has some really awesome clubs, by the way. And if you play the cleavage just right, you can get in anywhere. I have plenty of cleavage, and I'm not afraid to use it. I dragged a male friend out onto the dance floor and shook my ass all night long. It was after 3 am when I got home. I had to work the next day and it was time for me to go. I did hear a conversation the next day about the way I dance. It was all complimentary, so I was pretty happy about that. It always makes me feel good when someone tells me I really know how to dance. I spent enough time dancing by myself in my room, I better be able to do something on the dance floor.
But wouldn't you know that life again stepped in the way. When the babies start coming, priorities get readjusted. And responsibility starts rearing it's ugly head. Responsibility sucks. But I still wouldn't trade the things I've done, or the places I've been, or the people I met for anything in the world. It helped me become the person I am now. And the mother. And the wife. And the friend. And all the other parts that make up the whole. I took a part of my life and changed it. I changed it again when what I was doing and how I was behaving wasn't working for me anymore. It shaped the way I think and feel. It shaped the way I am now. And I know what to look for when my kids think they are getting away with something.
When I was a kid and growing up, I was so incredibly shy. Most everybody that knows me now is laughing. No, really, I mean it. But there was my "out there" side that very few people know about. If we had a project that had to be presented to the class, I almost couldn't do it. My palms would sweat, my face would turn red, my heart would race. I would feel like I was going to pass out.
Some of you have heard my story about calling to order a pizza for the first time. I was 15, and my mom was out of town. She had left enough money for my sister and I to feed ourselves for the weekend and I wanted pizza. My sister was working and I was hungry. So I called and ordered a pizza. I thought I was going to throw up. How crazy is that? I didn't have to see the person, but the act of ordering a pizza the first time made me almost lose my mind with fear.
But then there was that other side. The side that got really tired of people telling me how good I was. And how sweet I was. And how my sister was always getting into trouble and I was so good not to get in trouble. They knew so little. And it all started when I was about 16.
Most of you don't know that I was high most of the time from about 13-14. The first time I smoked a joint, I thought I could do that for the rest of my life. None of my friends knew, none of my teachers, not my sister or my mother. And my father would have killed me dead on the spot if he had known. Mom would drop me off in the morning and I would find my dope friends and get high. Then I would get high between classes. And then at lunch. And then after school. I still graduated with a 4.+. It's my darn IQ. It's off the charts, on the high side.
I finally quit when one night after I had hallucinations. I was riding around the lake one night, smoking dope with my friends. I saw lights coming at us, but I couldn't make out what they were. And then I saw them again. And then again. The last time I decided I would see if I could see where they were going. When I turned my head, the lights turned red. It completely freaked me out. I was too high to know that they were cars that were passing us. I decided that was enough for me. Not that I quit for good.
I picked it up again later when I lived in Austin. What a great town that is. I actually worked with my dealer. I was her boss. Sounds crazy doesn't it? Live my life, man. But never walk in my shoes. Where was I? Oh, yeah.
My best friend and my sister's best friend were sisters. We used to watch our sisters do really stupid things and get caught. I would look at my best friend and say, "Not only can we do that, but we can do it better and not get caught." And boy did we do it better. And we never got caught. I did get busted by my mom one time when I was drunk, but she told me to never come home drunk again. I did, I just didn't tell her. I could tell you stories that would make you wonder how I am still alive. The only thing I can tell you is by the grace of God. One day I'll tell you about getting left at a party where I knew nobody once my friends left me. The guys who gave me a ride home could very well have given me something else as out of it as I was, but somehow I got home in one piece, and alive and unhurt.
I had decided at one point that I didn't want to be the shy, wall flower that I had been all my life. So to compensate I went way the other way. I was bold and out there and in your face. And man, could I ever get in your face.
When I moved to Austin, I got to be really good friends with the decorator that worked in our store. She was amazed that at 22, I knew who Peter Frampton was. His "Frampton Comes Alive" album is the second greatest live album behind Cheap Trick's "Live at Budokan". She asked me to go dancing one night. She had had a really bad wreck a couple of years previously and had pins and screws in her knee. She had just had them taken out and finished rehab and was ready to try it out. She didn't know that I was one hell of a dancer. Still am actually. I love to dance, but again, that's for another time. After dancing our asses off for a few hours, she deemed me worthy to party with. I am pretty cool to hang out with. That was all it took to let it all out with my new group of friends.
We were out partying with a group of female friends when one of them spotted a really hot guy at the bar. Of course, nobody would go talk to him. But they dared me to grab his butt. I just rolled my eyes at them, finished my drink in one swallow, and headed for the bar. I walked over to him and introduced myself. I pointed out my group of friends, and told him that they wanted me to grab his ass. So I politely asked if it would be OK if I did that. He agreed and let me grab his fine, fine ass. And what a nice handful that was. Then he bought me a drink. He said that was the first time a beautiful woman had approached him like that. I told him he would never meet anyone quite like me again.
When I got my job in Vegas, I was nervous as anything to move to another city where I knew 1 person. I told you I was out there. I think that I overcompensated the other way. I was too bold, too out there, too in your face at times. I drove out there all by myself from Ft. Worth. My mother was so scared for me. Sometimes I was, too, but I made it. I did get to see a part of the country that was new to me. And it was beautiful. But a word to the wise. Do not drive in New Mexico or Arizona during a hail storm. That wasn't the smartest thing I have ever done, but again, I made it.
My first night in Vegas sort of set the tone for the year I lived there. I called my friend, who at that time was really a friend of my mother's. She said her husband had just left for Saudi Arabia, and I should come out to the bar with her. Alcohol? OK. So I fixed myself up and out the door I went. I had my big Texas hair, a shirt that showed off the ladies, and I was driving my Eagle Talon. I looked damn good in that car. I miss it sometimes while I'm driving my minivan.
No sooner had we walked in the bar, that happened to be on the Air Force base, that I get propositioned. But not even directly. We walked into the bathroom almost as soon as we got there and this girl walks in behind us. She asked if I had seen the guy sitting at the first table. I said sure. She said, "He would really like to fuck you." Yeah, stand in line, buddy. I told her if he was enlisted, he didn't make enough money. I was really high maintenance. And the rest of the time I was there, I was surrounded by men. I loved that town. Even when I started dating my husband, they didn't care. When I got engaged, it was like a red flag to a bull.
The first time a bunch of us got together to go out, we went dancing. Vegas has some really awesome clubs, by the way. And if you play the cleavage just right, you can get in anywhere. I have plenty of cleavage, and I'm not afraid to use it. I dragged a male friend out onto the dance floor and shook my ass all night long. It was after 3 am when I got home. I had to work the next day and it was time for me to go. I did hear a conversation the next day about the way I dance. It was all complimentary, so I was pretty happy about that. It always makes me feel good when someone tells me I really know how to dance. I spent enough time dancing by myself in my room, I better be able to do something on the dance floor.
But wouldn't you know that life again stepped in the way. When the babies start coming, priorities get readjusted. And responsibility starts rearing it's ugly head. Responsibility sucks. But I still wouldn't trade the things I've done, or the places I've been, or the people I met for anything in the world. It helped me become the person I am now. And the mother. And the wife. And the friend. And all the other parts that make up the whole. I took a part of my life and changed it. I changed it again when what I was doing and how I was behaving wasn't working for me anymore. It shaped the way I think and feel. It shaped the way I am now. And I know what to look for when my kids think they are getting away with something.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Changes are coming
From day to day, minute to minute, things just keep changing and evolving. Sometimes it's for good, sometimes it's for evil. But at least things aren't stagnant and stale.
Hubby's company is undergoing a "restructuring". It doesn't have anything to do with bankruptcy. It has to do with wanting somebody to buy the company. The company has asked for voluntary transfers to different jobs within the region. It actually started with the union president of all things. The company was going to be bought, but when the stock market went crazy and banks stopped loaning money, the company that was going to buy, couldn't.
There has been a big push for layoffs. Why stock holders are more important than the workers, I'll never understand. But profit is the bottom line. The union president stepped in and had a few suggestions. One was that if the company got rid of contractors, the co. could shift full time employees around to fill those positions and keep their jobs. Lo and behold, the company listened. What?
So here's the skinny. There are several positions that have come open that were previously held by contractors. I have nothing against contractors, since hubby has been one off and on over the last fourteen years. Hubby has applied for a position dealing with special circuits. It has to do with towers, and I don't know what else.
The job doesn't entail any climbing of the towers (thank you God). It has to do with the lines and cell phones and I'm not even sure. During lightning season, he would have a ton of overtime. He would also be on call at least once a month. But we are OK with that.
The money will definitely help. If we could get the credit cards paid off within the next year or even two, that in itself would be worth it. And to actually be able to put money in savings. I don't even know what a savings account looks like. We had to drain the kids' a couple of years ago when hubby got back from Miami. That was hard to deal with. But when you either do that or starve, or lose the house, well the decision makes itself really. But that's another blog for another time.
And enters the flexibility of home schooling. If hubby is working late, I can keep the kids up if I need to. There is nothing set in stone that says we have to be up at the crack of dawn, and start school at 8:30. We can start, or stop, whenever we want to. If we don't get started until noon, we don't get started until noon. It's nobody's business but ours. I love that aspect.
On the downside, when hubby is working serious overtime, so am I. That means I don't have the support or help that I get from him. He helps so much with the kids. But I have become very good at getting over it and moving on. But when I am ready for the kids to go bed, I am ready for the kids to go to bed. I have to get over myself at times like that. We were pretty used to the overtime, but then last year, it never really started. A little here and there, but not like before. So now we would be back at it. I get really spoiled when hubby is home a lot.
We should know tomorrow whether or not hubby is transferring. I wish they were doing this for the areas around the country that his company is in. It would be great to get back to Texas. My mom would be happy. My dad would not be so happy, since he is in Tennessee. But I would love to come home. Who knows? If hubby gets the job, maybe we could save enough to move. Wouldn't that be great? So ifit's meant to be, it will happen. Wish us luck whichever way it goes.
Hubby's company is undergoing a "restructuring". It doesn't have anything to do with bankruptcy. It has to do with wanting somebody to buy the company. The company has asked for voluntary transfers to different jobs within the region. It actually started with the union president of all things. The company was going to be bought, but when the stock market went crazy and banks stopped loaning money, the company that was going to buy, couldn't.
There has been a big push for layoffs. Why stock holders are more important than the workers, I'll never understand. But profit is the bottom line. The union president stepped in and had a few suggestions. One was that if the company got rid of contractors, the co. could shift full time employees around to fill those positions and keep their jobs. Lo and behold, the company listened. What?
So here's the skinny. There are several positions that have come open that were previously held by contractors. I have nothing against contractors, since hubby has been one off and on over the last fourteen years. Hubby has applied for a position dealing with special circuits. It has to do with towers, and I don't know what else.
The job doesn't entail any climbing of the towers (thank you God). It has to do with the lines and cell phones and I'm not even sure. During lightning season, he would have a ton of overtime. He would also be on call at least once a month. But we are OK with that.
The money will definitely help. If we could get the credit cards paid off within the next year or even two, that in itself would be worth it. And to actually be able to put money in savings. I don't even know what a savings account looks like. We had to drain the kids' a couple of years ago when hubby got back from Miami. That was hard to deal with. But when you either do that or starve, or lose the house, well the decision makes itself really. But that's another blog for another time.
And enters the flexibility of home schooling. If hubby is working late, I can keep the kids up if I need to. There is nothing set in stone that says we have to be up at the crack of dawn, and start school at 8:30. We can start, or stop, whenever we want to. If we don't get started until noon, we don't get started until noon. It's nobody's business but ours. I love that aspect.
On the downside, when hubby is working serious overtime, so am I. That means I don't have the support or help that I get from him. He helps so much with the kids. But I have become very good at getting over it and moving on. But when I am ready for the kids to go bed, I am ready for the kids to go to bed. I have to get over myself at times like that. We were pretty used to the overtime, but then last year, it never really started. A little here and there, but not like before. So now we would be back at it. I get really spoiled when hubby is home a lot.
We should know tomorrow whether or not hubby is transferring. I wish they were doing this for the areas around the country that his company is in. It would be great to get back to Texas. My mom would be happy. My dad would not be so happy, since he is in Tennessee. But I would love to come home. Who knows? If hubby gets the job, maybe we could save enough to move. Wouldn't that be great? So ifit's meant to be, it will happen. Wish us luck whichever way it goes.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Don't Worry, Be Happy
It took me a while to think about what to blog. I've felt kind of dry of material, if you will. Through looking at other blogs and talking to my husband, I finally figured it out. Hold on. We may be a while.
I had an appointment with the periodontist. Or whatever it is. Anyway, I have several thousand dollars worth of work that needs to be done to my teeth. Let me say now, Mom, I'm sorry. I know you paid a lot of money for my teeth. It is completely my fault for not doing the upkeep. And it's not like I didn't know what was happening. I was just too (insert adjective here) to do anything about it.
I need another root canal. Great (read shit!). I didn't love my first one enough to want another. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't fantastic and something I would choose to do on a day off. But wait there's more. He wants to pull my four front teeth on the bottom and put in a partial. I'm not forty yet. Not that it matters how old you are. Some people are just destined to lose teeth. I just haven't done anything about it.
And where is the money supposed to come from? I can't get the money tree to flower to save my life. Stupid Florida sugar sand. We can barely get tomatoes to grow. And if I could pull it from any orifice, I would be pulling every day. Sometimes twice a day. But I digress again. I told you to hold on.
How is that going to look until I get the partial? I shudder to think that I would have to wait an extended period of time with no front teeth. Granted bottom teeth, but still four of them. They said something about fittings, and temporary something, and I can't remember. If I don't have something that looks half way decent, I told hubby I wasn't leaving the house until I had teeth. No church, no co-op, no grocery store, no anything. He laughed and asked what he was supposed to tell people. I said I didn't care. He could tell them anything he wanted. He could tell them I had dental work done and I wasn't showing my face until it was right. I told him to ask them to pray for me. Which brings us to the second half of the blog.
I was reading a few blogs earlier and I came across one that was in Chinese, but it was translated in English. And in as small a nutshell I can get it in, here's what it said.
A blind boy was sitting on a street corner with a sign that read, "I'm blind. Please help". He had a hat open in front of him with a few coins inside. A man walks by and reads the sign. He drops coins in and and picks up the sign. He changes the sign, puts it back, and walks away. He comes by later and the hat is full.
The blind boy recognizes his footsteps and stops him. "What did you change my sign to?" he asked the man. "I changed it to tell the truth." It read "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it."
Both signs tell the truth. The boy's sign said simply that he could not see. The second sign made people realize they were happy they could see. Have no regrets in your past. Learn from it and improve your future. Live life to the fullest and love with no regrets. The most beautiful thing to see is a smile, specially if you are the reason for the smile.
Fine. I know that things are not always perfect. Life is what you make it a lot of times. You can choose to stay in a nasty funk and be unhappy. Or you can cowboy up and get on with your day. Our lives are not always easy. And good relationships take time to cultivate. And who has any of that now days? But in the grand scheme of things, couldn't things be different for all of us. Put your life in perspective and figure out what's important. And then cherish it with everything you have. Love it with no regrets. Hold it as long as you can.
We made it to the end. I know, I took the long way. But did you really expect a post of mine to be short? Or take one road? You know me better than that. But, right now, I'm going to go hold one of those things that I cherish, and I may not let go until morning, if then.
I had an appointment with the periodontist. Or whatever it is. Anyway, I have several thousand dollars worth of work that needs to be done to my teeth. Let me say now, Mom, I'm sorry. I know you paid a lot of money for my teeth. It is completely my fault for not doing the upkeep. And it's not like I didn't know what was happening. I was just too (insert adjective here) to do anything about it.
I need another root canal. Great (read shit!). I didn't love my first one enough to want another. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't fantastic and something I would choose to do on a day off. But wait there's more. He wants to pull my four front teeth on the bottom and put in a partial. I'm not forty yet. Not that it matters how old you are. Some people are just destined to lose teeth. I just haven't done anything about it.
And where is the money supposed to come from? I can't get the money tree to flower to save my life. Stupid Florida sugar sand. We can barely get tomatoes to grow. And if I could pull it from any orifice, I would be pulling every day. Sometimes twice a day. But I digress again. I told you to hold on.
How is that going to look until I get the partial? I shudder to think that I would have to wait an extended period of time with no front teeth. Granted bottom teeth, but still four of them. They said something about fittings, and temporary something, and I can't remember. If I don't have something that looks half way decent, I told hubby I wasn't leaving the house until I had teeth. No church, no co-op, no grocery store, no anything. He laughed and asked what he was supposed to tell people. I said I didn't care. He could tell them anything he wanted. He could tell them I had dental work done and I wasn't showing my face until it was right. I told him to ask them to pray for me. Which brings us to the second half of the blog.
I was reading a few blogs earlier and I came across one that was in Chinese, but it was translated in English. And in as small a nutshell I can get it in, here's what it said.
A blind boy was sitting on a street corner with a sign that read, "I'm blind. Please help". He had a hat open in front of him with a few coins inside. A man walks by and reads the sign. He drops coins in and and picks up the sign. He changes the sign, puts it back, and walks away. He comes by later and the hat is full.
The blind boy recognizes his footsteps and stops him. "What did you change my sign to?" he asked the man. "I changed it to tell the truth." It read "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it."
Both signs tell the truth. The boy's sign said simply that he could not see. The second sign made people realize they were happy they could see. Have no regrets in your past. Learn from it and improve your future. Live life to the fullest and love with no regrets. The most beautiful thing to see is a smile, specially if you are the reason for the smile.
Fine. I know that things are not always perfect. Life is what you make it a lot of times. You can choose to stay in a nasty funk and be unhappy. Or you can cowboy up and get on with your day. Our lives are not always easy. And good relationships take time to cultivate. And who has any of that now days? But in the grand scheme of things, couldn't things be different for all of us. Put your life in perspective and figure out what's important. And then cherish it with everything you have. Love it with no regrets. Hold it as long as you can.
We made it to the end. I know, I took the long way. But did you really expect a post of mine to be short? Or take one road? You know me better than that. But, right now, I'm going to go hold one of those things that I cherish, and I may not let go until morning, if then.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Clarification
There was another post on our discussion board. Ebonics is not recognized as a language. It is just not corrected in schools. students can speak in Ebonics, but not do assignments or papers using Ebonics.
But that brings me back to helping the students that are in our trust. Shouldn't the schools be preparing their students for the real world. Ebonics will certainly not get you a high paying job. It will allow you to ask if people want fries with their order.
So here is my rant, call it what you will. I don't really care, because it's my blog.
We went to the homecoming football game at the high school that hubby went to. The joke was that the team had already won their one game for the season, so there was no pressure to win homecoming. Being from Texas, high school football is fierce. It is the one thing that drives the social, economic, and political lives of many small towns. And the bigger the school, the bigger the pressure to win and win big.
The crowd was huge and the people were rude. Where did the common decency and courtesy go in our society? If you bump in to someone, say excuse me. It was an accident. There was none of that. Cutting in line, specially in the bathrooms, was horrible. And as nasty as they were, I didn't bother to go.
We had to park in the front of the school, which is behind the football stadium. And of course nothing was labeled. There was no signage that told us where to go. at one point we found where the gate was open. And then some man fussed at us that we needed to go around. Here we are with our three children and he thinks we're trying to sneak in? For those of you who know our children, sneaking is not possible.
Then we get fussed at by another man who tells us we're going the wrong way. There was also a group of black teenagers that were ahead of us. They were trying to find their way to the game, too. He accused them of jumping the fence. I said no, actually they came from the gate we just came from. They were as lost as we were. He finally led us to another gate and unlocked it for us. Then he fussed again about people not going where they were supposed to. I made a point that this was the very first time I had ever been to this school. If he wanted us going the right way, there should have been someone directing us or they needed to put up signs. Kiss mine is what I felt like saying.
The crowd was like every other crowd at any high school game I had ever been to. The woman next to me reminded me of my mother. She was very vocal to say the least, but didn't use bad language. When the cheerleaders were throwing small footballs, she even gave us three, one for each child. That was nice.
The teenage girls need to put some clothes on. The friends we went with made a comment about that being the style. My comment was that my daughters wouldn't go out in public unless they put some clothes on. I would rather be remembered for my brain and my accomplishments than how short my skirt was, and how much I showed when I bent over. Life today is so crazy.
When the crown thinned out a little later, it seemed most of the rudeness had gone as well. Maybe it's too many people in too small a space. But it did get better and our team won. Two in a row. It's a banner year.
But that brings me back to helping the students that are in our trust. Shouldn't the schools be preparing their students for the real world. Ebonics will certainly not get you a high paying job. It will allow you to ask if people want fries with their order.
So here is my rant, call it what you will. I don't really care, because it's my blog.
We went to the homecoming football game at the high school that hubby went to. The joke was that the team had already won their one game for the season, so there was no pressure to win homecoming. Being from Texas, high school football is fierce. It is the one thing that drives the social, economic, and political lives of many small towns. And the bigger the school, the bigger the pressure to win and win big.
The crowd was huge and the people were rude. Where did the common decency and courtesy go in our society? If you bump in to someone, say excuse me. It was an accident. There was none of that. Cutting in line, specially in the bathrooms, was horrible. And as nasty as they were, I didn't bother to go.
We had to park in the front of the school, which is behind the football stadium. And of course nothing was labeled. There was no signage that told us where to go. at one point we found where the gate was open. And then some man fussed at us that we needed to go around. Here we are with our three children and he thinks we're trying to sneak in? For those of you who know our children, sneaking is not possible.
Then we get fussed at by another man who tells us we're going the wrong way. There was also a group of black teenagers that were ahead of us. They were trying to find their way to the game, too. He accused them of jumping the fence. I said no, actually they came from the gate we just came from. They were as lost as we were. He finally led us to another gate and unlocked it for us. Then he fussed again about people not going where they were supposed to. I made a point that this was the very first time I had ever been to this school. If he wanted us going the right way, there should have been someone directing us or they needed to put up signs. Kiss mine is what I felt like saying.
The crowd was like every other crowd at any high school game I had ever been to. The woman next to me reminded me of my mother. She was very vocal to say the least, but didn't use bad language. When the cheerleaders were throwing small footballs, she even gave us three, one for each child. That was nice.
The teenage girls need to put some clothes on. The friends we went with made a comment about that being the style. My comment was that my daughters wouldn't go out in public unless they put some clothes on. I would rather be remembered for my brain and my accomplishments than how short my skirt was, and how much I showed when I bent over. Life today is so crazy.
When the crown thinned out a little later, it seemed most of the rudeness had gone as well. Maybe it's too many people in too small a space. But it did get better and our team won. Two in a row. It's a banner year.
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