B is having a birthday party here at the house on Nov 1st. She would like to
invite the big girl, the boy & the baby. Would they be allowed to come? Not sure of
the time as of yet, just wanted to be able to give you time to think about it.
I changed the names because I don't do names. Anyway, this is from my EX sil. I always capitalize the EX because it makes me happy. Keep in mind a couple of things:
- There is no love lost between the 2 of us. AT ALL. I can't stand her and she can't stand me back. I'm ok with that.
- I had texted her when the big girl was having a birthday party. She didn't respond. Hubby and I didn't want to be like that. So we responded with the following.
We don't go to her house. My in-laws loaned my bil and my sil quite a bit of money to buy the house. Like, half the house. My other bil (hubby has a ton of brothers) did most of the work that needed to be done. As soon as it was completed, she told her hubby she was divorcing him. That's not suspicious at all, is it? We don't go there in protest. That, and the first time hubby and I went to see the house, she didn't even greet us. Didn't say hi, bye, or kiss my ass. I thought it was a nice response. This is what I got back.
That is fine I will let B know.
I thought it was over at that. And I was good with that. I should have known she would pop my happy bubble. This is what I got later this afternoon. All I could think was "Really?"
However I would like to say that I have let my children come to your house without an issue, ever though I do not care for you, because I want the children to have a relationship with you and your family. Because to me it is important for the children to stay connected with their family. B is quite upset and said seriously my own Aunt said that. I hide nothing from my children and let them know exactly how I am talked to by others. She is very hurt. However since you have decided that your children are not allowed to be at my house then I have now decided the same for my children. If they are to get together it will only be at E's. I am sorry that you have made it come to this for both you and my children.
Did you read the last line? Somehow, she makes a decision and it's my fault. I'm a bit confused by that. It's not the first time. We had a dispute about birthday parties. Yeah, did I mention we're both really mature? Anyway, she decided that they were not having birthday parties for their kids anymore and it was my fault she had to make that decision. Um, what? And because I can not leave well enough alone, I responded.
And again, AGAIN, you decide that you cannot leave well enough alone. Or even ask what the deal is. Instead, you involve children in adult business. We aren't coming to the house for a few reasons:
- We are not "drop and leave parents". Never have been, never will be. As much love as you and I have for each other, do you really think that would be ok?
- You didn't bother to greet hubby and I the one and only time we were at your home. You couldn't even take the time to come and say hello, but when your friend got there, you dropped everything. How's that for family?
- We do not agree with your decision to not pay back D and E for the money that you borrowed from them, knowing that you were going to divorce their son.
But since I have you here, why don't you tell your kids this. You have never been about family and you never will be. You have no idea what "family" means. I send you a list of dates to come see the kids perform, and Not one time did you bother to show up. The only reason B saw them was because D and E brought her. You couldn't even come to recital on $5 day. Your excuse of having no money is old and tired. Surely, you could come up with $15 or $20 for the family to come see them. Do we get the same courtesy of a performance schedule? No. We show up for our performance and B is coming off the stage. Thanks for the heads up that our niece is going to be there!
See how mature I am? I know, I know. Walk away. Fuck that. I am not a walk away kind of gal. I am an in your face, shoot it from the hip, kiss my ass kind of gal. I am so excited to see the next response. Are you sitting on pins and needles like I am? We'll see how it goes.
You always say you want them to have a relationship with "their family". How many times have you picked up the phone, texted me or hubby, or emailed us to schedule time for the kids to be together? Let's count them: 0. Absolutely not 1 time. The kids get together because we are the ones that do the scheduling and the planning. Not you.
Many years ago, you made the decision to not have birthday parties for your kids because of the issues we had. I got the blame for that as well. YOU made that decision, not me. You take responsibility for your actions and your words. You need to take responsibility for making this decision as well. I didn't do this. YOU made up your mind, so you get to take the blame, not me. If you want them to get together only at D and E's, then so be it. But YOU made that decision. Own it. By making this decision, though, you are going against your belief that "it is important for the children to stay connected with their family." And so you know, the last time the girls were at the parents' house, B wanted the next sleep over to be at our house. I have no issue with that. Now you get to explain to her that it's your fault she can't come. You're hurting the kids, not me.
Slow your roll when you come at me. When you point the finger of blame you have 3 fingers pointing back at you. And if family was so important to you, you would know the correct way to spell E's name.
