Parental Rights

I guess I have parenting on the brain or something. I am not an expert, I just know what works for our family. I also can tell that some things are not working for others. We are raising our future leaders, people. If we raise a bunch of whiny, sniveling, snot nosed, it's all about me kids, I can only imagine how our lives will go. Case in point...

1. I was at the library. All my local readers and friends know how much I LOVE our local library. It's the people that work there I have issue with. That's beside the point, so back to the point. As I am standing in line the other day, the woman in front of me was getting on my nerves. She had three kids, the oldest maybe seven, the youngest was about four. The oldest boy, who is the middle child, was all over the place. Big sister had to go get him as he was running through the stacks screaming, "Come find me." Really? Sister brings him back to the counter where he promptly boosted himself up to see behind the counter. All short kids do that. It was the fact that he was still screaming. What did mom do? Nothing, really. "If you don't stop, we'll put all the movies back." Empty, idle threat. She wasn't about to put them back. You know why? Then they wouldn't be occupied when they got home and she would have to deal with them. He was everywhere, running at top speed, running into people while mom said meekly, "Stop that and come here." Yeah, not working, mom. Be the parent.
2. I have a friend that is a public school teacher. She is getting flak from a parent because she chastised a student for improper dress. Teach her how to dress properly, mom, and this wouldn't come up. You should see the pictures from a Texas high school of the girls that were not allowed into prom. Apparently, there was more haging out than was covered up. I would never let my daughter go out like that. The excuse I hear more than any other regarding school uniforms is that it stops fighting about what your child is wearing to school. We never had that argument. Want to know why? Because I would pick out the clothes. This home is not a democracy. They don't get a vote. Be the parent.
3. A friend went to a girl scout meeting last night with her daughter. The meeting before, the leader had asked that no one play the piano or play with the basketball goal. You would think should have been enough. One little boy promptly picked up the basketball and started playing. My friend asked him twice to stop and he didn't. Well, he did, but only until she walked away. She went to the mother and the mother was rude to her. I wonder where the defiant behavior comes from? Another played the piano. Same thing happened. And we wonder where kids today get their sense of entitlement? Be the parent.
4. There is not supposed to be any cell phone use during class at our local schools. Half the time, the kids are texting or posting on their Facebook pages, or Tweeting. At one of our schools, it's supposed to be an automatic suspension. When the teachers won't say anything, when the parents get the text or see the post on Facebook and they don't do anything, either, what are the kids supposed to think? One teacher I know said she was afraid she would get beat up or shot. Good grief, people, grow a spine. Be the parent.

Our rights as parents mean that we need to BE THE PARENT. We are not their friends, we are their mentors, their support, their parent. While I have great children, they are not perfect. They are, however, polite, respectful, and know they will get whooped if they even dared to think of half the stuff these other kids get away with. This is their life we are talking about. This is our future as well as theirs. Be the parent.

Short Skirts and High Heels

About a year or so ago, I got sucked into Facebook. Man, oh, man. Sometims it's a good thing. I have reconnected with some old friends, I am able to see pictures of family that I haven't seen in years, and it's yet another way to keep in touch with those that are far away. It's also horrible for my self confidence.

I had lots of dreams when I was growing up. Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up? I do. For a long time I wanted to become a veterinarian. Then I found out how much school is involved. I was in middle school when I found that out, so that much school was more than I wanted to do. Then I wanted to join the Air Force and become a helicopter pilot. Ooh, bad attitude and the military, not a good combination. This was, by the way, during the time they could still yell at you. I would have gotten myself in some major trouble. Then one day, I was watching TV. I watched TV every day, but this had a profound effect on me. It was a story about Sea World and the dolphin trainers. That was the one thing I settled on. It became THE dream.

I took three years of biology and loved it. I also had the best biology teacher ever. I was set and ready when I graduated. I had already decided that I was going to go to a junior college (also known as a community college) to start with. Get all the basics out of the way in a little more relaxed atmosphere and call it good. I even got a freshman scholarship. I took 16 hours my first semester and 14 the second. It was free and I was going to get as much out of it as I could. One problem, though. I expected help to get through the rest of college. I didn't get it.

I was expecting help from my parents to pay for college. I didn't get any. None. Nada. Zip. To be fair, after they told me they would help me, it was at the end of my freshman year. I had gotten through with straight A's. I was so angry at them, I decided that I would put myself through school. I was almost done when I got a job transfer that I really wanted. I told myself I would go back. I didn't and still haven't. I would like to complete my degree soon, but right now, homeschooling three kids, I don't think I could give them the quality education they deserve if my nose is shoved in a book studying.

So back to Facebook now that I have taken you on this long road trip. I look at the roads that my friends have taken and feel like putting my head under a pillow. I have friends that have gone on to become doctors, lawyers, and Indian chiefs. I was expected to go on and do great things with my life. I was supposed to be working at Sea World (in San Antonio, not Orlando) with dolphins as my best friends. Instead, I'm a stay at home mom. I had someone tell me I was too smart to just be a mom. Thanks, but what does that mean? It apparently means that I am not living up to my potential.

It also means that all those insecurities that I have rear their ugly heads at the most inopportune time. It digs at my self confidence until I feel like I can't do anything right. It means that I can't wear short skirts or everyone will see my insecurities for what they are. It means that I am human and have issues and, finally, I am Ok with me not being perfect. I am finally free to live my life the way it is, not the way it should have been.

It means that I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about my life. Am I living up to my potential? Hell, yeah. I am teaching three smarty pants kids about life and books and the love of learning. I am teaching my family about love and kindness and the right way to say please and thank you. I am raising three children to become bright, upstanding people that are shining stars in this world. It also means that every time my insecurities start showing, I lower the hem on my skirt so you can't see them.

We all have moments that make us feel that we have taken the wrong path. We all have moments that our insecurities are on display for everyone to see. We all have those times, and these are the ones that need to stay in the forefront of our minds, that we know what we are doing with our lives is so much better than anything we could have planned. The next time I see that a friend has gone on to bigger and better things than I have accomplished I will probably allow myself a little whiny time. Then I will put on my short skirt and my high heels and embrace myself, insecurities and all.

Parenting Sucks

Notice I didn't say being a parent sucks. It doesn't. I love my kids and I love being a mom. It's the decions that suck. Some days, I just don't want to be the parent. I want to be young and irresponsible and make decions based on wants instead of need.

Our big girl is getting to the age that some of her activities conflict with other activities and we have to leave her. Or we don't want to sit around for an hour while she takes voice or practices with the band or dances or whatever. We have talked about getting her a cell phone. Is that not the scariest thing? Your child needs a cell phone? I would have loved to have a cell phone when I was a kid. I don't remember hogging the phone at home, but I remember Big Sis hogging it. Mermie had to finally get us our own phone line. I would like for it to be that simple. Just add a line at the house and call it good. Hubby gets a discount on a home phone. Cell phones are the bane of my existence. I'm not giving mine up, just so you know. Unless we get a free one when we add the big girl in a couple of months. Then I get the free one and she gets mine, because that's the way the world works. When the kids start driving (I cannot believe I just went there), they get hand me downs, and hubby and I get the new.

I had to drop my tap class. I love my tap class. This year, schedule wise, we would have been in the same predicament as last year. It would have left us with a very long Wednesday and four snarky people at the end of the day. Or we would have to drive home to turn around a couple of hours later and make the trip again. Not doing it. It's over an hour round trip. That's great for listening to a book on CD, but not so great for trying to get anything done. I don't like feeling like I have to hurry and get things done because I have to leave the house again. We plan trips with multiple stops so we don't have to go to town too often, or just for one thing. It saves time and gas that way. So do I give up something I love so the baby can dance? Well, yeah, that's what parents do. I would rather see her face light up with joy. That gives me more joy than any other thing. I love for my kids to be happy.

How do I make all their dreams come true? How do I make sure that they are well rounded individuals? I love them. We have been blessed that we have found pretty inexpensive ways to foster their dreams. Dance is our big expense. It really isn't that bad, and we get alot for our money. I like that. We have a friend giving the voice lessons, and we got a great deal on it. The big girl gets lessons from a classically trained singer and we get to help someone work her way through college. Book club for the big girl at a local library, chess club at a different library for the boy. Both of those are free. Foster the love of books in the big girl and get the boy to develop thinking and reasoning skills.

Will we buy them their first car? No, but we'll help them. They need to get a job and their own money and learn how to handle their own fundage. Will we pay for college? We'd like to be able to. Depending on where they go, we may need some hefty grants and scholarships. We will do what we can to help our kids reach and surpass all their goals and dreams. If we keep making right decisions.

Griping

That's what's on the agenda for today. You would think after not posting for awhile I would come up with a really great political post or even a thoughtful, rambling post. Nope. Tonight, you get bullshit. Ready? Let's go.

• Many years ago, after the boy was born and really for a short time after the baby was born, I had really let myself go. I wore my glasses all the time, my hair was always up in a scrunchy, I rarely wore makeup, and my clothes were to cover my body. I know people were wondering how in the world I could have gotten pregnant and if my husband was blind. I started to realize that hubby works hard for this family and he didn't deserve to come home to a slobby wife. I try to make my self presentable when he comes home and when we go out. I want him to be proud to be seen with the beauty that he married. That being said, what is the deal with women walking around in tank tops with bra straps showing, hair as messy as can be and up in a scrunchy, and flip flops? Do you not know how awful you look? They have these things you can now buy almost anywhere that will clip to your bra straps. It keeps your straps from showing. Flip flops lead to jiffy store feet. You know what that is don't you? It's black feet like you were walking barefoot in the convenience store. Nasty, ala Britney Spears. And do something with your hair. Make yourself look good, you make yourself feel good.
• There is a preacher in Gainesville that is having a Koran burning. I am highly opposed to burning books. I am highly opposed to terrorism as well. I know. There are peace loving Muslims out there. Where? I don't see them trying to foster warm fuzzy feelings about their peace loving religion. I know there have been many wars fought in the name of God. If you look at the history of many of those wars, they had nothing to do with God. God was used as an excuse. In this case, Allah is being used as an excuse. He is being used as an excuse to fly planes into buildings, to kill innocent people that disagree with rhetoric, and to keep our soldiers away from their families. All I have to say is we all have a right to protest in our own way. (Original comment deleted at hubby's request)
• I have said previously that I would not say a negative word about hubby. I changed my mind. Monday was mow the yard day. I like to mow what we like to call the back 40. I wish it was forty acres in the back of 1160, but it's the other half of our acre that's just yard. I like to mow it because I don't have to go around anything but myself. I make big squares, then when I've mowed enough it turns to these funky elliptical things because I mow crooked. Hubby is much better at backing up the mower and getting the corners. He doesn't freak out when he has to squeeze the mower through this teeny opening to get past the back patio and over to the tree. He works our 6 six year old, very poorly maintained, shakes and makes all kinds of weird noises lawnmower like it's a brand new, zero radius machine. He drives the lawn mower like he drives his work van. You can tell the man is confortable and confident with his driving skills. I have to make snake patterns back and forth to get a tiny patch. He's cutting most of the yard around the house in reverse. Whatever, dude, what...ever.
• I start dance tomorrow. Lovin' it. I have missed it so much. I haven't put my shoes on since class last year. I am so excited to see my dance friends. I am so excited to hear the tippity tap, tippity tap. I love to tap dance. It is amazing and energizing and fun, fun, fun. You should take a tap class, or any kind of dance that you are interested in, at least once. None of that nonsense about no rhythm or grace or any other excuse. It's not about that. And you eventually get just a little bit of that anyway.

That's it I guess. It's late and I'm tired. I'll try not stay gone so long next time. See ya' on the flip side.