WWJD

It is so easy to think about what those letters stand for, but hard to actually do what they stand for. When there is trouble or strife or whatever, it is easier to strike out and be defensive than stop and pray and be offensive about the situation. Isn't it ironic that offensive has two meanings and pronunciations. You can be the one calling the shots or you can be the one that is being unruly. Offensive or offensive, which are you? Sometimes, I'm both. Here's my story:

I got an email the other day. It was from the chairman of my church's preschool school board. She had apparently asked the trustees committee if they could share some space in our youth house. Before this gets any further, I should explain some things. First of all, probably the only thing I can't stand about the United Methodist church is that everything is done by committee. The biggest problem with that is that you have committees that make decisons without consulting other committees. In other words, the left hand has not clue one what the right hand is doing. The other part of that is that everything has to go through a committee, which only meets once a month and could take forever to get a decision. I am not into waiting. Let's just move and get going shall we? The other problem is that the chairman of the school board is married to the chairman of the trustees. That means all she has to do is ask and it's done. Trustees control and manage all the property and inventory of a church. They control what can be done in a building or to a building. Everybody up to speed? Any questions? Raise your hand if yes. Good, on with the story.

The email said they wanted to create a "resource center" in a back room at the youth house. The youth house is for our youth which consists of middle, high, and college age people. We don't have any college age, but we have lots of middle and high school. They want to put in a desk, four book cases, and file cabinets. Not happening. We use that back room for meeting space during Sunday school and on youth night. We have to put anywhere from 10-15 kids plus facilitators in that room. With the stuff they want in there that would leave no room for a meeting space. They want to put an office in there. Call it what you will, but it's an office. When you move in a desk and file cabinets, it becomes an office. It is supposedly for the preschool teachers to use on their breaks to make lesson plans. Full of shit is what she is. Church politics makes me sick, but here we go. Can't we all just get along? Apparently not.

I sent that email to the youth volunteers. Keep in mind that we have no children's director or minister, no youth director or minister, and no Christian education director or minister. We are a group of 5 volunteers doing the best we can with no help. Supposedly, there where several people that wanted to volunteer with the youth, but I'll be damned if anybody has stepped up to do it. I also sent the email to two people that teach youth Sunday school. They have two kids in the program, one in middle school and one in high school. Needless, to say we weren't happy.

Here are our issues:

1. The preschool has slowly but surely started taking over our campus. It is a wonderful program that has shown continual growth since it's inception. I give the credit to that to the director, Candace. She is bright and bubbly and has a great way with people. The growth of the school has led the trustees to renovate a group of apartments that the youth house is part of. They have taken over rooms on the church that had other uses. There was not supposed to be a conflict between the school and church happenings, but that has become null and void. It has taken over a Sunday school classroom, the library, an apartment that was used for our food pantry and homeless ministry. The food pantry and homeless ministry has it's own house now. I moved the elementary and higher level children's and young adult books to our activity building. They had been behind a locked door in a room that belonged to the preschool. Since we used those books quite frequently, it was move them or have a hard time getting to them.
2. When the preschool started, there were two rooms that they were not to enter. One was the choir room. The other was the youth house. Wow, that's pretty nifty how that's happening. The chairman says that children will not be in the youth house. You want to move the preschool books in there. How else are the children going to get the books if they don't go to the bookshelf? I find that a little curious. And why do they need to be there if the teachers are just going to use the room for lesson planning? They aren't going to be using those books to plan with. They have curriculum for that.
3. The youth should not have to share space with cartoon characters on the wall. They worked very hard to make that space their own, not someplace they had to share with preschool children. It gives them a place to come that they feel comfortable in. You cannot get a teenager to talk about anything unless they feel comfortable. We have worked very hard for them to feel comfortable with us. They have worked hard to trust us. Good grief, if we don't fight for them, with them, they won't feel comfortable, but will feel abandoned yet again. When the youth director left several years ago, our associate pastor took over. She knew she had earned their trust when some of the youth picked up her car and moved it. She has transferred to another church now. That was twice they had leaders they cared about, that they trusted, leave them. It has taken time and much effort on both sides to get where we are now.
4. Most of our youth are members of the church. When they enter middle school, they are eligible to enter the confirmation process. After that process they decide if they want to become full members of the church. They have done that. As full members, they deserve the rights and respect that comes along with that. To look them over in favor of one person or group at the church is incomprehensible to me.
5. We have at least three empty offices in the church office. We have the offices of the three missing staff members I mentioned above and the office of our associte pastor that is now empty. They already have desks, bookcases available, and the computers that they want to do lesson plans with. Frankly, I have a lesson plan book that I use. I plan my lessons with my books or curriculum, my plan book, a pencil, and a big eraser. I sat tonight and did three weeks of plans for three kids at different levels for six subjects in about thirty minutes. If they can't do lesson plans for their class unless they have a computer, then shame on them. I was watching Lost while I did it, too. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
6. Without asking, without trying to find out how the space was used, a decision was made. She went into our space without permission and decided that she wanted it. It almost feels like a violation. It's almost like someone broke into their inner sanctum, their safe place. A squatter has come in and it takes cops and lawsuits to get them out. What will it take to erase the feeling of being violated that some of the youth have. She stated that she had been in there and looked at the space and decided how it could best be used. I'm pretty sure that no one gave her permission to make that decison except herself. Oh, yeah, her husband, the chairman of the trustees probably said it was OK.
7. Unless you volunteer with the youth, what gives anyone the right to say what happens with their space? I don't see it as mine. I'm just there to support and listen and be an example for them. I lead a small group lesson with them and listen to what they have to say. This is their place, their refuge. Some of them see it as that. The safe place where nobody is judging, nobody is condemning them. Now they feel threatened that they won't have that anymore.

I was so angry, I fired off an email. I sent it to every email address for every church member that I had. I sent it to all of the volunteers. I very eloquently addressed each of these matters. I can be eloquent when I need to be. I am, after all, a writer. I had mucho positive response. The next day was Sunday and I was a little leery about going to church. Hubby said he would be with me all the way. I started getting reponse emails that night, all positive, except one. I'll get to that in a minute. At church the next morning, I was hugged, patted on the back, and made to feel very good about my letter. I wanted the congregation to know that there was something happening that shouldn't be. It shouldn't have become the big deal that it did.

The one I was talking about was the chairman's response to my letter. She turned it around to make it seem like I was angry at the preschool. No, I was, and still am, angry at her high handedness. At her insinuation that she is in control of our church campus. At her feelings of superiority and seeming authority to come in and violate a place that doesn't belong to her. I am angry that no consideration was given to the use and purpose of a space that they have no knowledge of because they choose not to know. They choose not to know because they do not, and will not, volunteer with the youth. This is about the kids and their place in our church. The place that most of them need to be. The place that most of them have an equal footing with every member there.

After youth on Sunday, and after much reflection on Monday, my next step is prayer. I need to be still and quiet and let God lead me to my next step. I need to open my ears, my heart, my soul to the only voice that matters in any of this. I need to pray for the youth, for myself, for the volunteers. And as much as it hurts my flesh, I need to pray for the chairman and her husband. I need to pray for grace in this matter. I need to think-what would Jesus do?