Goodbye

I'm not leaving and I'm not gonna stop blogging. I'm saying goodbye to a relationship that has fallen apart. Not hubby and I, so it's ok. Sometimes, instead of being angry, which I have been and am very good at, you just need to end it. It is what it is. Yesterday at the park I was talking to a friend and said: I cannot make anyone be my friend. If someone doesn't like me, too bad. I'm not chasing you down to find out why. Like me or not, I'm not changing. It was kind of an aha moment.

I'm not sure how or why things got messed up, because I can't get her to talk to me anymore. We went from talking everyday in one form or another and seeing each other several times a week, to nothing. To being treated like I don't exist, I'm not important. I think the lack of communication is what is hurting me. Talk to me and let me know what I've done that has made you so mad at me that you take it out on my kids, who love you and are very sad that they can no longer spend time with your family.

I think that's what makes me angry. It's not just me. It has encompassed my kids and their feelings. Stomp on me all you want, but leave my kids alone.Why punish them? Because you would have to see me if our kids saw each other? Because you don't have the balls to tell me your mad? Because you would rather wallow in your own pain than face it?

Whatever the reason, if you're reading this, wallow away. Drown in your misery and sorrow. When you need a hand out of it, call me. When you're ready to talk, I'll be here. I won't shut you down.

For now, though, I wish you many years of love, peace, joy, and prosperity. I wish you happiness beyond all happiness. I wish you were still my friend.