I am a child of the 80's. I like the music and the movies and the big hair. Short of shaving my head, I will always have big hair. One of my favorite groups from the that era is En Vogue. They sang Free Your Mind. Well, I freed my mind yesterday. And my tongue. I didn't realize what a good time I'd had until hubby and I were talking about it when we got home.
Yesterday was Easter. That means a gathering at the in laws. Y'all know how much I love that. The last couple of gatherings, I've been quiet and reserved. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn't want to rock the boat. I was ready to scoop up the kids at the first sign of trouble and skedaddle. Not so much yesterday. I told hubby to watch out. That, and there were extenuating circumstances.
The house across the street from my in laws is for sale. It's a 4/2 and they want $24,000 for it. Hold on, let's not get excited. Have you seen it? I did yesterday. It's a dump. It needs so much work. With the asking price, you could hire someone to do all the work. Keep in mind it's been empty at least two years, maybe three. Hubby and his brothers grew up with the kids that lived there. It's at least 40 years old. And the fact that it's across the street from my in laws is somewhat of a deterrent. At least for hubby and I. It was definitely a topic for discussion. I did get to throw my two cents out there, though. It went a little something like this.
The first question I had was how often were the grand kids going to be allowed over. Were they going to be allowed to come over willy nilly whenever they wanted or was my SIL going to respect my IL's privacy and not allow them over all the time? My FIL and BIL don't want them over there all the time. They've said as much. But my MIL is a sucker. My advice was that they must still ask to come over, or my MIL could go over there. Personal boundaries are important. And although my MIL doesn't mind if people just drop by, there are also two other people living there. And she isn't the private sitter for my niece and nephews when my SIL has had enough of them. Got my mind emptied on that one. I all but shook my finger in her face.
While the adults were still eating, the kids were done and wanted to go play. Well, go then. One of my BIL stopped and got a slip and slide. Thanks for the heads up, dude. I would have brought suits for my kids instead of let my 7 year old in a white shirt get an early start on her wet tshirt career. My kids were wet before I couls do or say anything about it. My niece conveniently had a bathing suit in the van. She's 7, too. She came walking by us, covering up. SIL comments that if she had a body like her daughter, she wouldn't hide her body when wearing a bikini. I don't think it's appropriate to make comments like that to a 7 year old. She smiled at me like she expected me to agree. I didn't. I commented on the fact that we don't do bikinis. We are raising our children to dress with modesty. We only do tankinis or 1 piece suits. To tell the truth, it popped out before I could stop it. That shut her down pretty quick.
When talk of the house came back up, SIL said they were going to talk to her hubby's boss about it. He's handled lots of real estate and knows all about it, was her comment. I suggested she go through a buyer's broker. They get paid by the seller and can save the buyer quite a bit of money in closing costs. She said he knows all about their situation. I could so comment on that, but what I said wasn't anything like that. I said that as her hubby's boss, he shouldn't be involved in their situation. It created a conflict of interest. This was personal and the boss should be about business. And what if he did help them get a house? He's already cut BIL's salary a couple of times. What was going to happen when and if his salary had to be cut again, or worse, BIL got laid off? If the boss is involved in helping get the house, what would happen if BIL did get laid off? Would the boss try to take the house or would they be renters in their own home? If he loans them money to get the house, how are they going to make the mortgage and pay back the boss? She looked at me like I had four heads. No, I just have a really big mouth.
There were a couple more times when my mouth took over. I did actually slow myself down once. We were talking about coffee. She likes a flavored coffee. Hubby and I like the brand, but we don't do the flavors because of all the added stuff that makes it flavored. "We don't do flavored coffees. They add so much junk...you know what, never mind." Then I went on to talk about the ones we like. It just seemed like I couldn't help but contradict whatever came out of her mouth.
It was a great day. I have to say, when I am able to let it go and I don't hold my tongue, it is freedom. I feel like I am flying. I think it's the endorphins. Some people get them from exercising, I get them from letting my mouth say whatever it wants. I try not to be catty or vicious. I know that my excuse of "stupid people piss me off" doesn't excuse the things I say. I was really more handing out great advice I pulled from my butt (long story about where I get my advice and the book I'm going to write). I don't think we need to get our 7 year olds worried about whether their body is banging in a bikini, business is business and your boss shouldn't be involved in your's, and boundaries are important to keep relationships from boiling over (that comes from a history with SIL).
When hubby and I were talking about it later, I realized there were a couple more things I popped off about. Hubby started laughing at one. He had a little twinkle in his eye. "You did have a great time, didn't you?" he asked me. Why, yes I did! I got some stuff off my chest. I popped off some great one liners (my specialty). It was a great gathering. For me, anyway.
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