Life According to Eminem

Say what you will about him, I like me some Eminem. He has his light fluffy stuff, but man, Cleaning Out My Closet is powerful and painful. Listen to the lyrics. Many of his songs are that way. The one that has really been running through my head lately is The Way I Am. That song just hits it for me right now. I wish I had it, but, alas, it's not on iTunes. I'll get it somehow.

The time between Thanksgiving and New Year's is hard for me. I miss my family. The holidays don't seem to be about family anymore. The holidays seem to bring out the worst in a lot of people. I just really have to close in on myself and take a break for awhile. It's also a great time for self reflection. Am I making too big a deal out of nothing? I hope not, but what if? For some reason, this song popped into my head and because I was feelng moody and self reflective, I started picking things out of conversations with different people. Sometimes I wasn't involved in the conversation as much as I was the topic of it. Again, too much time on my hands and feeling all holiday wonky had me paranoid I guess.

The chorus of the song keeps running through my head. Basically, it's that he is what anyone says he is. If you think he's a mean bastard, then everything he does is just going to prove that he's a mean bastard. If you think he is super cool, you will buy all his albums and idolize him. If you think he's a white guy trying to be black you'll call him all sorts of things. Isn't that true about us? We are what ever people think we are. Here's a list of what I heard.

• Bad Ass: Really? It has been said that I will confront anyone, anytime. No, but I don't let people run all over me, either. I just don't like to be treated rudely. I try to say please, and thank you, and excuse me. I expect common courtesy. I expect that if I was next in line, you don't try to jump in front of me. I expect to be listened to when I am at the cash register or customer service. I did tell a woman working at a department store that I didn't ask her to take this job and if she didn't like it she should get a new one. It straightened her out. I got listened to and the rest of the transaction went beautifully. And don't even mention my kids. That is tempting a mama bear! I will become a bad ass then. You don't speak unkind words about them or treat them in an unkind manner. But will I bitch slap your kid? Well, if they need it. No, really, I wouldn't slap them. But I will correct them. At the park, a couple of the girls came over and said a couple of boys kicked them off the equipment. I asked the moms if they wanted me to take care of it. They actually looked at me like I would go over and yell and scream at those kids. Am I a bad ass? Not really.
• PollyAnna: My world is NOT all rosy. Do I wallow around in it? Sometimes I do. Do I want everyone to know? No. I also decided a while ago, after a falling out with someone I thought I could trust, that there are some things that just need to stay private. I would much rather present the brighter side of life than get you all bogged down in it, too. But this is my blog and this is where it all gets said. Except that stuff that doesn't need to be said.
• Caring: Now this one I like. I would much rather make you laugh, than make you cry. I would rather you smiled all day because of something I said or did than grump around about it all day. I very much dislike the idea of hurting your feelings. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I have two you can borrow. Need a pat on the back? I can do that while I hug the stuffing out of you. My friends are my family, and that means tons to me. My family is the most important thing. I cry at sappy movies, I get mad when someone is wronged. If I could take in every child that needed a home, I'd have a million of them. I am your go to girl.
• Bitch: This is my favorite. I am. You can call me this all day long, and it doesn't bother me. My mom always said that when you fnd something you're good at, stick with it. Iam good at that. But I am also honest about it. I will never say anything behind your back that I wouldn't say straight to your face. Don't get in my face, don't start something you don't want started, and we are ok. That seems pretty simple. I am not going to walk up to you and start something. I don't do that to anyone. But really, along with this, see Bad Ass.

Along with the things that have been said about me, I also carry many titles. I am a wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, woman, person. I am who I say am. You only think I am what you say I am. I think if you really got to know me, you would see that I am all of those things. I am also scared, unconfident, tired, content, beautiful, goofy, loving, funnier than anything. Spend some time me. Get to know me. I did.