Spanking

I know I've blogged about this before, but I couldn't find it and I got tired of looking for it. I was watching the national news this morning and there was an interesting story about spanking. The debate started when a couple got mad at the grandparents for spanking their two young boys. Apparently, Grandma got a little irritated at one grandson for pulling her plants out of the ground. Then, the second grandson did something and she spanked him, too. The parents were "outraged" that she had done that and it started a rift. Then, of course, the experts weighed in on spanking and other methods of discipline. The general consensus was that spanking is bad and you should do other things so as not to ruin the delicate psyche of children. Whatever.

My mom was a spanker. She spanked for every offense, and sometimes just because. There were times when we definitely needed a good butt whooping. Sometimes, not so much. Time out was not very wide spread when I was growing up. My dad, on the other hand, only spanked us once. It was harder on him than it was on us. He never did it again. But Dad had the look. One of those and you knew you screwed up. It was worse than a beating, not physically, but mentally. Here's my take.

Spanking was and is a great discipline tool in our home. I was a big spanker for many years. Because of that, my two older kids know that I mean business. The baby took a little while to get the picture, but she has come around. The two older kids know that the serious tone in my voice and the elevated level of that voice is just a warning. I will only take so much and then I'm done. I will only be pushed so far.

We do incorporate other means of discipline. We do use time out. The problem with that is, once again, the big kids know the fundamentals. They are so good about standing in time out, I forget they're there. And they don't ask if they can come out, they just stand there. I have to set a timer to remind me. The reason they are so good at it is because they got spanked while they were in time out for not listening. Or the threat of a spanking instead was always good at getting them to stand. The baby on the other hand is stubborn just like her mama. I could have beat her every minute of time out and it didn't matter to her. She was going to do things her way. You're killing me, here, Baby Girl. She does have it down now, thank goodness. She will stand there just like the big kids. Whew!!

We also take away their fun stuff. Actually we take away any and all fun they might think of having. That means all video games, electronics, TV, movies, whatever. If we had planned something fun for them, they miss out. If that doesn't work, then we definitely spank. You can only take so much crap before you start throwing it back.

The experts' view was that you scar your children and make them unproductive members of society by laying your hands on them. I do not condone beating or abusing your child(ren). But I also think that without the proper discipline for your child, you are making them unproductive members of society. I think that if you coddle your children, if you do not make them responsible for their actions and/or words, you are doing them a great disservice. We are making another generation of people that feels like they are owed something by society in general. They will have no sense of responsibility, no sense of right and wrong.

Children do not fit into a mold. One size does not fit all. Isn't that the way with all of us? Find the way that works best for your child. Find what works best for your family. Just don't tell me what works best for mine.