Part 4

Tyler ran his hands through his hair for the millionth time since they had gotten back from dinner. He tossed and turned in a bed that was just a smidgen too small. It was just enough to make him feel even more agitated than he already was. What he needed was a beer. Then a little voice told him he needed to be slapped around for even being here. He realized he wasn't going to get much sleep. He threw the covers back and found his jeans on the floor. He slipped them on as he made his way to the small balcony that over looked Lydia's yard and lowered himself into a chair, staring into the dark.

He had felt all kinds of emotions when he had seen Lydia standing on her porch. That sundress was enough to drive any man crazy, clinging to curves that hadn't been there eight years ago. She had let her hair grow, and now looked like a woman. At seventeen, she had been changing into a woman, but still had the softness and gentleness of a child. The memories just started running through his brain, driving him crazy.

Dinner hadn't been too hard to tolerate. It seemed like half the town had stopped by the table. That had been alright by him: it meant that he didn't have to carry on a conversation he didn't feel like having. He would sneak looks at Lydia as often as he could. He felt all the "stay far, far away" vibes, but he couldn't help but be drawn to her. He had made a joking comment about keeping a secret. Her eyes had flashed at him and she had made a snappy little comeback. That was new. She hadn't been that way at seventeen.

What her eyes could do to him. They had torn him up for months. He had met her in town one day while he was hanging out with Josiah during a summer home from college. She had been very shy, not quite meeting his eyes. But then he had seen her a few weeks later, a different attitude, a different person all together. And her eyes had been full of life. Then came the day he had picked her up when she had been walking home. Her sweet trusting eyes tearing him up inside. He had made reference to the big bad wolf when he dropped her off, hoping she would get the hint that she should be careful of him. Then he had seen her at the party. He had had a little buzz rolling, and couldn't help kissing her seeing a little fear, but then trust because it was him that had her. And that had lead to way too many emotions.

He had never had anybody care about him for what seemed his whole life. Except Josiah, and his brothers, he didn't have any friends. Nadine Todd treated him like one of her own, a cherished child. His own parents preferred spending time with a bottle than with him. He would have probably died if it hadn't been for the Todds. And then Lydia Adams had changed his life.

That day at the lake had made him realize that he was going to ruin her life, ruin her if he didn't make her leave him. He would drag her down into his miserable life if she didn't run as far, as fast as she could. They had both somehow managed to get naked on that blanket. And the way she felt, and tasted, and smelled, and looked, and the little moans coming from her had him losing all sense of reality. He was not a good boy by any means. He had realized that all the acting out had been him looking for his parents approval. But at the last possible second, he had pulled back, knowing what they were doing was wrong for her. She needed to be loved and cherished and a man that would be there for her. He was not that man.

He had walked away from her a couple of days later. He had broken her heart to get her to leave him. He had known what it would take, and he needed her to think he was a bastard. If she didn't, she would never leave him. Tyler had saved both of them was how he thought of it. He then walked away from everything that was reasonably safe to him and started a business. He had become extremely successful and wealthy. But he had also become a ruthless bastard.

Here he was eight years later, pining for a woman he had given up eight years earlier. Josiah hadn't told him that she was living in this small town now, instead of their hometown outside of Austin. Tyler had never told anyone about his relationship with Lydia. He kept it too close to share it with anyone.

The sound of her back door creaking brought Tyler back to the present. He watched her tote a small cooler to a swing hanging from a huge tree in her backyard. He watched her open and drink a bottle of beer, toeing the ground to start the motion of the swing. He was going to have to talk to her. He needed to clear the air and put her at ease. Knowing the conversation was going to be difficult, he hoped she had a couple of beers for him. He threw on his shirt from earlier, not bothering to button it. He padded softly down the stairs and walked across her soft grass.

"Can I have one of those?" Tyler asked. He gestured toward the swing. "Can I sit?"