Guilt by Association

The big girl has gotten "hooked" on a show. And of all things, it's "Wife Swap". Now normally that is not a program that we watch. The name alone is enough for me to send the kids out of the room when it comes on. But she has me hooked on it as well.

For those of you who have never watched or don't know what it is, two women trade families for two weeks. The producers usually pick people from two different life styles. And usually the life styles are way different. And there is always some kind of conflict. But I can understand that.

When hubby and I first moved here, we lived with his oldest brother. I could not find a job to save my life, so I was home all day. And it sucked. Target wouldn't hire me to answer the phones, and that was with 5 1/2 years of retail experience, with at least 3 in management. They thought I would be bored. No, I needed a paycheck. But I digress. I did finally find a job. I worked 4 days a week in the office of the temp agency I applied at. And I loved it.

After we had lived here a year or so, hubby's brother started dating the woman that would become his wife. She practically moved in after their first date, but to each his own. Hubby and I only knew each other 6 months before we decided to get married. But again, digressing. Friction occured when I started feeling like she had come in and tried to take over a role I had been playing for quite awhile. It is hard to have someone come in and tell you that you suck at whatever it is you are doing. And some of that friction is still there today after all years, but that is so another blog.

One of the moms in an episode we watched tonight homeschooled 4 of her 6 children. Her youngest 2 were running around the house and basically were disrupting the flow of knowledge, but she didn't discipline them or try to occupy them with other things. It was chaos, at least to me. I do not think I could function, or my kids could function, in that type of atmosphere.

The other mom worked a full time plus job, as did her husband. The kids went to school and daycare. They were both very well educated and were trying to provide for the future of their family. I can understand that. I would love for the future of my family to be as financially secure as possible. But what we want and what we get are two different things. We're working as hard as we can to do that.

The friction came when the educated husband didn't understand the point of homeschooling. And frankly, I don't think the mom did a very good job at explaining or demonstarting what homeschooling is about. At one point the dad said that he had yet to see a pencil touch a piece of paper. He even broke one of the new mom's rules and sent the kids back to school.

At the end, the working mom asked what would happen if the homeschooled kids wanted to go to college, but were unprepared. She didn't think that they would be academically ready. It was almost like a comedy show in my head when someone says something and you hear the needle scratch the record. Hold up one minute. So here's where the blog gets good. Are you ready?

There are so many reasons to homeschool, and each reason means something different to each family and person. Our reason was because the big girl could not get a decent teacher in her school. That meant that when the boy got older and into those grades, he would have to cycle through those teachers. That was not happening. So we pulled our kids out and brought them home.

There are many philosophies and ways to homeschool. One very popular way is called "unschooling". To some, this means schooling through real life and not using textbooks, except when absolutley necessary. And even then, an alternative can usually be worked out somehow. The thought behind it is that every day life is used to teach. Grocery shopping can be a math lesson in addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication. You could also use it for algebra. Geometry is stretching it a bit for me, but you never know how others do it.

Some rely on books. Not text books, but actual books you read. Wow, what a concept. The art of the written word is such an important one. Sometimes I think that technology just sets us back years and years instead of pushing us forward. The concept is that all things can be taught through living. I admire people that can school that way.

I am tied to curriculum, but at least it's curriculum that I choose. We do as much real life learning as we can, but sometimes, book learning is easier for me. But you would be amazed at what my kids know. They amaze me daily with their abilities and incredible minds. But, there I go again.

At one point homeschool mom was playing musical instruments with her "new" kids while dad was trying to put the baby down for a nap. He asked her at one point to go in the basement with the kids and play. She refused and he had a hard time getting the baby to sleep. He was angry and I don't blame him. She said he didn't get the point about living in the moment. Well, yeah he did. He was living in the moment of getting the baby to sleep. Take your crap and go in the basement and live in the moment there.

I was upset at the end when the working mom said the kids would not be ready for college. First of all, learning is not always done out of a book. Sometimes it's easier to learn by doing. Don't we learn about life from living it? Don't we learn how to act, react, and feel from the situations in our life? Why does all learning have to be done with a pencil and a piece of paper?

I felt defensive with our choice of homeschooling and the example the mom set. Not all homeschoolers are that way. We choose what we do for different reasons. But just because she came off as an idiot, doesn't mean there aren't smart people out there teaching their kids.

Some teacher unions want laws passed that require homeschooling parents to have a degree. I have an IQ of 152. Do I really need a degree, a piece of paper that says I spent a ton of money to get a piece of paper? Now all you that have a degree, good for you. But just because I didn't finish college doesn't mean that I'm an idiot and don't know my kids. It means that life stepped in my way and I took a different path.

I know that I have blogged on the joys and the reasons for homeschooling. But, apparently, I feel the need again. Not all homeschoolers are looking to hole up in a cave, and not be around people. Not all homeschoolers are people that are lazy and just want their kids at home. Not all homeschoolers do it for the same reasons. But don't let one family that is homeschooling one way give others a bad name. Keep an open mind.