Shoulders as Earrings

Do you ever feel that way? Like you're wearing your shoulders for earrings? I get that way, but mostly it is self induced. It comes mostly from those stupid abandonment issues I have.

Sometimes if a group I belong to has a function that I don't know about, and then I hear about it later, I think,"Why didn't anyone say anything to me?" It has nothing to do with the group, just me. I have the devil sitting on my shoulder telling me that nobody likes me. Nobody wants to be around me. They tolerate me because of my kids. They tolerate me in spite of me. I could go on and on, but I would rather brush him off my shoulder.

That's when I have to open my ears to really listen to the angel that sits on my other shoulder, the one that tells me taht I am worthy of love. The one that tells me that my family and my friends love me. The one that says that just because I wasn't invited, that doesn't mean that I wasn't thought about.

We had a really great night tonight. It was chili dog night. I like mine with onions, sauerkraut, cheese, and chili. Mustard is alright, but in the grand scheme of things, I can't taste it. So I just don't bother putting it on sometimes. I made homemade french fries and they were so good. It was one of those nights that had me thinking how blessed I am. Do you ever have those? I am married to the best man in the world (my blog, my opinion counts), my kids are phenomenal, and I am able to stay home with my kids and teach them all the wonders of the world. I could not have a better life. We finished our latest Christmas book, which means a trip to the library, because I'm all out.

And then I get on the internet. I won't even tell you what has the shoulders hitting the high ground. It's stupid and childish and I refuse to give it light. But there I went, shoulders up. And over stupid shit. Some of you may have an idea, and you're probably right. So I'm hoping that by revealing my Achilles heel, I can finally let stuff like this go.

Instead I will count my blessings. I will take inventory of the positive things in my life. I will be grateful for the small things and the big things. I will be thankful that we have presents under our tree. I went a little more extravagant than I was meaning to, but I did. And I paid cash for most of it, so I feel better about that. I will be thankful for my friends that I have and my family that I love and loves me. And I will have my husband help me take my shoulders off my ears.