Auld Lang Syne 2008

Or however you spell it. So here we are at the end of yet another year. How we got here I couldn't tell ya. All I know is it's about to be 2009 and I'm not quite ready.

In 6th grade my Occupational Investigation teacher (I love you Mr. Mayfield. I pray that you are frolicking with angels and watching your family with love) showed us a quick video done by a comedian that basically said when you're a kid, life is so slow. But once you hit about 30, everything moves in super speed. Well, I'm passed 30 and life is moving in SUPERSPEED. That video has stuck with me all this time and it hits me every now and then. I look at my kids and gasp at where they are in the life circle.

We are done with our first half of school. When it started it seemed like it would never end. We had a huge curriculum that I thought I was crazy to have tackled. But we got through it. Sometimes not well, and sometimes not pretty, but we got through it.

I realized that I took on too much. Not just school, but dance and co-ops and JAM. Not that we wouldn't have done it anyway, but the manner in which I did them was too much. We are in town four days a week for dance. There are four of us dancing and we each have a different day. Sometimes two co-ops a week. And a very full Wednesday. But here's what I've learned, and how we will do things differently.

I can no longer take on so much responsibility at JAM. It was too much for me and too much for my kids. We were at church some weeks four and five days, just trying to coordinate JAM stuff. I cannot do that anymore. The kids suffer, their school work suffers, and I suffer. I get stressed out, which I take out on the kids. I'm not always available to help them with problems in their school work. We'll do it later became my mantra. They shouldn't be doing work at 6 at night because I had to run to the church and do one quick thing that actually took 2 hours. So although I am not resigning, I will not compromise my children's work and their self esteem to do one more quick thing. That will have to be done by someone other than me.

Our co-ops are fun for the kids, and for me, too. But now our days will not be as work intensive as they have been on those days. We get done what we get done. If all the math problems don't get done, we'll work around it. Do you have the basic concept? Can you demonstrate that concept effectively? Then only do 10 problems instead of 25. That is a fantastic flexibility that I refuse to give up. If you know something, you don't have to show me 25 times that you know it. And whatever needs to get done, will get done. That means I take my time for myself during non-school hours. Like that's a big change.

And I have learned not to expect so much of myself. If the bathroom doesn't get cleaned twice a week, stressing about it doesn't get it cleaned. It will get that way again. And delegation is crucial. The big girl started hanging up all her own clothes. So that's one more person that puts away their own laundry. And one more chore off of me. My shoulders feel a little lighter already. The baby started cleaning her own room. The big girl helps sometimes which takes a huge burden off me. I can spend that time eating bon bons while laying on the couch watching soaps all day. Hold on, laugh break. Just let me wipe my tears of laughter and blow my nose real quick.

So hopefully, 2009 will also bring insight into myself and the dynamic of my family. 2008 was good and fruitful and brought lots of opportunity for love and laughter and joy. I have a small party planned with a very handsome man and three of my favorite little people. Maybe smallish people, because they are not as little as they used to be. Enjoy your celebrations, whatever they may be. And may the new year bring new and joyous opportunities.