SHUT UP!!!!!

Do you ever read the signs that are outside churches? I love 'em. You know, like the one that says: CH CH, What's missing? You are. Sometimes the sayings are cute. Sometimes they make me a little sad. But the one up the street from us is pissing me off! It says: Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. That's a great sign. Since I've read it, though, I can't seem to control what is coming out of my mouth. It's my bad attitude coming out in full force. Tell me no, or I can't, and it is on. But why this sign? And why can I not just shut up?

We were at my in laws this past Sunday and I got sick of listening to myself. How often does that happen? To answer the question "Are you talking just to hear the sound of your own voice?", yes, I am. I love the sound of my own voice. I am wise and philosophical, and funny, and a little full of myself. There is no denying that I have a tumultuous relationship with my SIL. I have tried very hard to take the high road. There are times that I could have said so much, but refused. I didn't want to be the one spreading rumors or throwing gossip around. Sunday, however, was a different story. It seemed like every time her name came up I did not have one nice, decent thing to say. I have never been so happy to leave my in laws. That meant I didn't have to spew forth with all my verbal garbage. Horrible, horrible.

Wednesday we get to dance class and I am ushering my kids to the back room. One of the dance moms that I have known for a couple of years now was talking to the ballet mistress. The mom asked if my kids were out of school for the day. Standard reply, no we home school. She commented on my sanity and how intact it was. Some days I can barely hold it together, but it was nice to hear. I started to say that I would rather be with my kids than with anyone else, but what came out was how I would rather be with my kids than leave them to the horrible teachers in public school that we dealt with. Where did that come from? And it got worse from there because I had to elaborate. More verbal garbage, more spewing. I finally went into class just to shut myself up.

Today we were at the park, having a lovely time. We talked all kinds of great topics then got onto our lack luster President. Anybody have any tape? The shiny silver duct tape will do, thank you. Staples would work. I don't feel like I said anything inappropriate, I just said it really loud and voiced my opinion every chance I got. Did I mention that I was loud? Criminy jeepers. You would think I had been drinking or smoking crack or something. If I had been smoking weed at least I would have been mellow, but none for me thank you.

Hubby and I were having our quiet time this evening and I mentioned my little problem. The story is much better with the audio. The noises I make to simulate verbal spewage are quite entertaining. He said a prayer for me. How nice was that? He just stopped, asked if I wanted to pray about it, and we did.

Tomorrow we go to a local theme park with a bunch of teenagers and get to see a Christian concert. It's an all day affair, well into the early morning hours. I hope I can control myself and my mouth. I have been kicked out of many bars, but I do not think it would be cool to get kicked out of church. If you have some time, please pray for me. I need all the help I can get. And I need to just shut up.