The Pool Saga

I have learned the hard way that you don't air your dirty laundry. I have confided in people that I have considered friends, best friends, close friends, whatever, and it has bitten me in the butt. HARD. But this story is actually kinda funny. At least I'm trying to keep laughing because this is just one more example of how screwed up people are. And I married into this family.

Back in May, my hubby's oldest brother called and asked if we wanted their pool. They have an above ground pool that was dug into the ground. It takes up quite a bit of room in their yard and it was time for it to go. We were really excited. We have wanted a pool for quite a while. We have minimal shade and we need something cool to do in the yard. The kids jump on our trampoline quite often, but we usually have to turn the water hose on it while they jump because of the heat. A pool seemed like a great idea.

Hubby went over to BIL's house and dug like a fool to get the pool out of the ground. His older brother went along and helped. They dug and dug and got most of it out. Whoo hoo! There was still quite a bit to do, but a lot of the grunt work was done. We were getting closer and closer to owning a pool with a minimum of costs. We also had the assurances of hubby's brother's that they would help put the pool in.

Here's where I start pulling my hair out. I feel like if you make a committment to someone, you have made a commitment. If something comes up that is unavoidable, we can work around it, not forget totally about our commitments. Work around things. When it rains, hubby works overtime. We depend on that overtime to pay our bills. No overtime, very little bill paying happens. Wouldn't you know it rained. And rained and rained. Hubby worked his regular 40 hour weeks, then added at least 20 hours of overtime to each week. We paid off some debt and got a good start on some others. But while he was working until 8 or 9 every night, BIL was doing nothing about getting the pool out of the ground. He works less than 40 hours a week and gets no overtime. How bad do you want that pool out of your yard?

Hubby managed to get over there another day and got all but a few posts out of the ground and bring a load of pool parts home. Those promptly got unloaded and sat. And sat and sat while hubby worked his tail off. I would ask hubby, "Did you call your brother? How's the pool coming?" Hubby got tired of hearing it, I'm sure. I got tired of asking. Every time I asked, the answer was the same. BIL didn't have a chance to work on the pool. Know what I think: bullshit. Lazy is his middle name. Most of the work was done for him, why should he bother with the rest.

Finally, finally, I get the answer I want to hear. The pool is completely out of the ground. Now the next question comes up. "When are they coming over to help dig the hole?". We are also going to bury the pool. Not as deep as it was. We just want to bury about 2 feet of it. That leaves two feet above ground. We have lots of sugar sand, so the digging isn't hard, it's just time consuming. The answer to my question is, they aren't. All that talk of help was, once again, nothing but a steaming load of crap.

When hubby's brothers call and need help, he goes. I encourage that. Being far away from my family makes me miss them so much. I can't run over when I'm on the phone with my sister and she needs help with a project or go over for dinner or just spend some time together. We can't get hubby's family to come over just to hang out and throw something on the grill. Family is family. When they need help or just want to spend time, you do it. Your family will not be around forever. Mine is 1600 miles away one way and about 1000 miles the other. I would love to really take my pork chops over to my sister's and share her pot roast when we tease about it.

This saga started in May, and here it is August. I have the beginnings of a hole in my backyard thanks to a friend of hubby's that is always there when we need him. To me, he is more like family than hubby's own brothers. Whenever we have needed someone, he has always been there for us. Everybody else is whining about getting a bobcat to do the digging (the machine, not the animal). And who is going to pay for that? Oh, yeah, US! Meanwhile everyone else wants to come over and use it. Do we have the money for a bobcat? NO. That's why we need help digging the hole.

We have been working on it, slowly but surely. I have half a mind to just recycle what we can and get rid of all of it. We can buy a new pool next year when we get our taxes back, but that's just stupid and wasteful. We aren't going to get to swim this summer. We were hoping we would be swimming by my birthday. That didn't happen. June has come and gone. Fourth of July is great for swimming. No, not for us. So August is here, and quickly fading. My excitement about the pool has faded, and I am fast approaching jaded.

Has it been worth the hair pulling, screaming, and feelings of anger and resentment? No. Will it be worth all the hard work and sweat? I hope so. I really do not like feeling this way about hubby's brothers. Some days I just cannot help it. They have no idea what it means to give your word and live up to it. At least as far as hubby is concerned. I always say I got the best one and I did. If I had married any of his brothers, I would be divorced, in jail, or both.

Thanks for listening to the rantings and ravings of a crazy Hawaiian. It feels good to get it off my chest. If you happen to be in the neighborhood and have a shovel, we'd love for you to come over and help dig. I'll even make you dinner. And when the pool is in, you'll get the first invite to come swim and throw some meat, or whatever you want, on the grill.