A New Baby

I have really felt the heart tuggings for a new baby. I don't necessarily mean a brand new, 9 months of pregnancy, thank God for epidurils baby. But I have felt the need to have at least one more child in my home. I don't know if it's God moving me or the Devil trying to get me into trouble. I really hope it's God moving, because hubby and I have been talking more and more about it lately.

When we had our last baby, I got fixed. I wasn't happy about it. The doctor asked me if it was OK to go ahead and do it as miserable as I was. I told her yes, but I really didn't want to. Hubby was not ready for another one. He was perfectly happy with our two and then adding the baby. I would have 10 if he would have let me. Can you imagine that? Me with 11 or 12 kids? Can you imagine a play date with us and the Dugger's? That would be so much fun.

I understand where hubby was coming from. I have great pregnancies. I love it. I don't get sick, I don't complain until the end, my ankles swell moderately, but I do waddle something awful. My blood sugar and blood pressure usually maintain an acceptable level. It's the deliveries we have conflicting views on.

The big girl didn't want to come out. She was a week and a day late, and still didn't want out. she knew what was waiting on her when she did. After 48 hours of back labor, I never progressed past an 8. I only had drugs the last 10-12 maybe hours. My back labor set off my sciatica which set off back spasms. It wasn't the labor at first, but the excrutiating back pain. They wouldn't let me walk, because I had an internal monitor. That thing was imbedded so far in the big girl's head, they had to yank them out. I though they were pulling everything out. Then the labor shifted, but still left me with back pain. We finally decided on a C-Section.

I scheduled delivery for my next two kids. I was not about to labor and nobody could make me. That is what gets to hubby. He cannot stand to see me on the table. He saw me open after our first and does not ever want to see that again. To see someone you love on an operating table, awake or not, is very hard. He just could not go through it again. Thank you for loving me, Baby. I love you, too.

Our pastor and his wife just adopted a girl from Ethiopia. She is such a joy. They are the proudest parents I have ever seen. My heart aches with joy when I see them together. I am so very happy that they decided to expand their family and include A. She has had such and impact on our family in general, and me specifically. I love that sweet girl.

Hubby and I have been talking about adoption. So far, it is just tossing around an idea. But I am ready to expand our family and fill it with more love. I had a friend ask, "How do you love more than one?" when she was pregnant with her second and I had just had my second. I said, "You just do." God makes a path that is filled with love and caring and hope and so many wonderful things.

If we do follow that path, it will be after our trip to Hawaii. This is something that we have promised to our children, and I do not want to let them down. Adoption is very expensive, and would prohibit the trip, I fear. But then again, doesn't God always make a way? You would think that with all the children that need a good, loving home, it wouldn't cost an arm and a leg. It prevents some people from going that route. That is a shame if you ask me.

For now, this is just an idea. Hubby and I will toss it around for awhile and see where we are led. Please pray for God's will to take precedent in this. If it's no, please pray for comfort and healing. If it's yes, please pray for comfort and healing. Either way, we will follow where the Lord leads us.