Those were the days

I got a call on Sunday from a very good friend that I haven't talked to in a very long time. It was so good to hear his voice. The way that time just moves in and continues to run, and life steps in and distracts you, seems very unfair.

Just because I haven't spoken to him in a very long time doesn't mean that I don't care about him anymore. It was good to know that he is doing well. I think the reunion that we just had has a lot of people thinking about their lives and their friends. I know it has me thinking.

When you are in high school, you think you have so much responsibility. I didn't have any kind of responsibility. I thought I had it hard, but it was easy for me. At least looking back at it. I didn't have to get a job. I got a job because a friend talked me in to it. I didn't have to study. I am just blessed with a mind that retains all kinds of stuff, meaningful or not. I played, talked, laughed, and generally led the life of a kid.

And then life steps in the way. Funny how that happens. The paths we lay out for ourselves are not necessarily the paths that we end up following. Alot of my getting off the path had to do with a lack of confidence in myself. And some of the relationships I had fostered that idea. Be very careful about the people that you associate with.

That is one thing that I am trying to help my kids understand. I heard "(S)he doesn't want to be my friend anymore". I try to explain that that person wasn't really a friend then. A friend is someone who loves you for who you are and supports you. I have had friends tell me all kinds of things that they have done that I don't agree with.

But those were not my descisions to make. I will never walk a mile in their shoes, think their thoughts, or be them. All I can do is support them through their issues and hope they support me through mine. All I can do is be there for them as a friend. If it is something heinous or horrible, then my job is to help them get help. But always be there for support.

I miss my days of no responsibility sometimes. I wonder where my life would be if I had actually followed my path. I think that I would be living in the same area of the country belive it or not. And I may have met my husband through other means. I might have the same kids, the same house. But my life would be different.

I think about the couple of times I thought I was pregnant with my ex boyfriend. That would have been a disaster. Or it could have changed us both, and we would still be together and happy. Who knows? I don't. But what I do know is that I love my life that I have now. It took me a long time to get here, but I made it.

I'm glad that I've had the chance to reconnect with some old friends. It makes me happy that I meant as much to them as they mean to me. I think that feeling is good no matter what. I always wanted to be one of those people that others remember, for good, not evil.

Call some old friends and see what they are doing now. I bet it would mean alot to them, and to you.