Random

I don't really have enough stuff for a whole blog about any one thing, so you get a random blog tonight. Yippee!!

• Say what you will, I don't care. I'm getting an iPhone. It's time. We are eligible for an upgrade and I need a new phone. Mine schizzes out and shuts itself down. I had tossed around the idea of a Blackberry Torch, but the iPhone just makes sense with having iPods. Games, apps, and music would just transfer right over. The big girl would love that because she would get my iPod. Mine is bigger than hers and she cannot wait to get her grubby little paws all over it. And, big news along the lines of cell phones and the big girl. She got a cell phone today. She wanted one that she could get online with. Yeah, no, that is not happening, but thank you so much for asking. She does have unlimited texting and I have a little more piece of mind. Bonus!
• I have Pitbull playing on repeat on my iPod right now. Ever listen to Pitbull? The man's voice makes me feel like a twinkie- creamy in the middle. I have to say my favorite song is Pause. He is a dirty, dirty, dirty dog and I am OK with that.
• I go from Pitbull to church. Yeah, I did that. After having a conversation with someone at youth one night and stating that I always get what I want, I called myself a spoiled brat. I didn't make me spoiled, I just continued the tradition. The youth director looked at me and said, "That statement just explained a lot about you." He doesn't know the half of it. I was also raised by a single mom in the '70s when divorce still wasn't that common and was still frowned upon in certain circles. I was brought up to be strong, tenacious, and driven. I am loyal and friendly and funny and smart and beautiful and so much more than he will ever know. I was raised with a strong love and devotion for family. I just smiled and said, "You think?" If he only knew.
• Shame on me, but I have not been focused when it comes to my grocery shopping, menu, and food budget. We were horrible last week and ate out alot. I am embarrased about how many times we picked something up. Ugh! I'm supposed to be planning now but I'm blogging instead. I do know what we're having for dinner tomorrow. I have a beautiful pork roast that I'm putting in the crock pot with some fresh squeezed orange juice and apples. I haven't been couponing like I should. I've shopped the sales, but I haven't had the right coupons, or I let them expire instead of using them. I definitely need to get back on track. I don't like feeling like I'm throwing money away. Fine, I'm getting back on track (said while kicking the dirt).

 See, that's all I got. It looks right nice together.

Thank You, God!

I have made it a policy to never talk about whatever issues hubby and I may have with each other on a personal basis. My relationship with him is MY relationship with him. It works for us and whatever doesn't, we fix. When hubby and I were in the engagement era, we talked about what was important in a relationship. What were the deal breakers and the deal makers. The big issue for me was, is, and probably will always be communication. If we can't talk about something, we're done. We may not always agree, but we always talk about it. 

I have also been very vocal in the fact that God hand picked my husband for me. He put us in the right place at the right time with the right circumstances. He knew that the two of us desperately needed was each other. He knew that by bringing the two of us together, we would have an amazing life together. He was right.

Without going into too much detail, things have been strained around here to say the least. When the kids and I were in Texas, hubby worked every day except one. He may have had one other day off, but the important part here is that he worked almost 5 weeks straight. He took several days off to bring us home. I have never been happier to see someone than when we picked him up at the airport. He hasn't had a decent day off since we've been home. He may have had 2 full weekends off work, but that meant full weekends at home. all work and no play makes hubby a tired, snarky man.

When hubby works overtime, that means that I work overtime. And do not, for one second, think that I am doing nothing at home but cruising Facebook. First you have to catch me at home. When I am home, I'm working. And trying to snatch 10 minutes here and there to read. And teach the kids new chores. This week our new chore is laundry. I am happy about that. The kids not so much. I could go on and on. By 8 o'clock I am ready for my kids to go to bed. Now. Goodnight! Suffice it to say that all work and no play makes mama a tired, snarky woman.

Hubby's working so much overtime so we can pay off our debt. We wracked up a ton of it when he was contracting and we are trying, desperately sometimes, to have enough money to put gas in the vehicles and pay the bills. We hope and pray that we can have about 90% of our debt paid off in a year and a half. Right now, though, we are tired, we are snarky, and for awhile we weren't talking about the issue, but we were great at dancing around it.

The dam finally broke last night. Just one small whispered statement from hubby and we were able to talk about what's been happening, how damn tired we both are, how much we miss each other, and how glad we were that we were finally talking about it. It was like the weight of the world was gone. We weren't just talking, we were communicating.

I love that man. I love that he works hard for his family. I love that when he holds me his arms go all the way around me. I love that, no matter what, we can always talk about it. And I love that my man was hand picked for me. 

Letting Off Some Steam

Want to know what I like about having my own blog? One of the many reasons? I don't have to follow grammar rules if I don't want to. Crazy, I know. I used to want to be an English teacher. The English language is so confusing and if I can help just one student get through it. Ok, if I can help my 3 get through it and maybe a couple of their friends, that'll do. I don't teach grammar every year. I don't have to so that's a huge blessing. But sometimes, it rears it's ugly head. Anyway, ready for bullet points?

• I don't watch The View. I absolutely cannot stand to listen to the mostly liberal panel spout nonsense. Joy Behar and evolution are two topics that should never go together. She said at one point that evolution should be taught to every child because it had been proven a fact and to not teach it was the same as child abuse. No, it's still a theory because it's never been proven. Even Darwin said he was wrong. Keep up, people. There I go off topic again. Michael Moore was on ranting and raving about who knows what. I only caught the clip on the internet of him squabbling with Elisabeth. I think what set me off was that he wanted Osama Bin Laden brought back to the states and tried instead of killed. I'm afraid I agree with Elisabeth. I don't think so. He said something along the lines of we needed to show the world that if you attack us, we will hunt you down and bring you to trial and punish you to the fullest extent of the law. Dumb ass!! Frankly, I like being part of a country that if you attack us we will hunt you down and kill you. Until you're dead. And instead of dumping the body in the ocean, we hang it high for all his friends to see. Then he said the war was over. Is that why our soldiers are still there? Is that why we still have men and women dying over there? Is that why thousands of families are seperated, some permanently? Because if the war is over, they can come home now.
• Our illustrious leader has a jobs plan. How's that working for you and where was it three years ago when you took office? First you give half a billion dollars (it looks like this: $500,000,000) to a company that is supposed to produce solar panels. Instead they declared bankruptcy. Then they got additional money and still failed. It must be great to be a friend and political supporter of the person who sits in the White House. Maybe that's my problem. I should start saying nice things about him and he'll give me money. Yeah, I'll take my chances, but I appreciate the offer. Green jobs, remember the prediction about that? Only about 3500 have been created. Thousands went to China, though. Wait how does that help us? And then, to promote the jobs bill that he so eloquently hyped, he goes to a production company in NC. A company that just opened a factory in Costa Rica so it could save money on employee costs. A company that shipped jobs over seas. One day, he'll get it. Not today apparently, but I have hope. Of course, he may be out of office by then.
• Political correctness is killing this country. Everyone should have a piece of the pie. Let's not hurt anyone's feelings. Shut up, shut up, shut up. We are making excuses for behavior that is unacceptable. We are coddling our future generations, raising them with a feeling of entitlement. We shouldn't hurt each other's feelings. We probably shouldn't. Tact is a great thing. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't tell it like it is and get over it. We are all Americans, why do we have to identify each other by our ethnic background? Isn't it illegal to discriminate because of that? Then why does it matter? There isn't a block for stupid or not stupid. That should be more important. Grow a pair, people, and use them.
• Big debate on arsenic in our apple juice. Did Dr. Oz scare the American public into not drinking apple juice? Considering they can use 48 different pesticides on as apple, I think arsenic is the least of our worries. The FDA allows more arsenic in apple juice than water. Want to know why? Because we drink more water than apple juice. Exposure to arsenic through apple juice is less likely to happen than exposure by drinking water. That's just stupid. Who's drinking apple juice? Children are. Smaller bodies should be exposed to smaller amounts of arsenic. Arsenic is naturally occuring, but not as a poison or pesticide that can kill you. Did you know that most potato growers grow their own, seperate crop of potatoes? Too many pesticides used on potatoes that go to the general public. Think about that next time you open a bag of potato chips. Just don't serve them with apples or apple juice. Inform yourselves. 

Break the cycle of stupid. Please, for my sake, for your sake, for our chidren and future generations. Or, really, just for me. Whatever works.   

Super Woman

I started this blog last night, but it morphed into something else. I don't like when that happens.

Now that public school is back in session, my kids stand out a little more. Ok. A lot more. We get the "Is school out today?" I don't know. Is it? "Got your helpers today." Just today, though. When we get home, I'm going to hang them back on the hook in the pantry. Crazy people. The question I get most often is "How do you do it all?" One step at a time. And for the record, there are a ton of things that don't get done at all. You should see my poor, unmopped floors I keep saying I'll get to. Or the boxes that I still need to tape up and get out to the shed and out of my kitchen. Or the closets that still need to be rearranged. Or the myriad of other things that aren't done. But what I usually say is "I'm Super Woman."

Some days it's more about what I can get done as opposed to getting it all done. Yesterday, we only did part of our school work. I needed to take a nap. By "needed", I mean that I sat down on the couch and fell asleep. When I got up, I wasn't in the mood to school. Keep in mind we had activities in the morning and didn't make it back home until after 12. The kids did their math and language arts, we just didn't do our together stuff. Lovely. That means we have to try to get it done today. Which would be great if we didn't need to go to the dance store and get shoes for my kids that they need for class. Tomorrow. Nothing like waiting until the last minute. Then we're headed to my BIL's to see his new house. We don't have any other time to do that. If we wait until we have time, it'll be next month and that's just rude. So when is all that school work going to get done? When it gets done is the best answer I have right now. I'll manage to squeeze it in. 

I need to sit and make a menu for the next two weeks. I had nothing on the menu for last night. I'm not sure why, but that's the way it was. I couldn't figure out what in the world I was going to make for dinner. Hubby picked up Chinese. Some days I just cannot get my stuff together. Yesterday was apparently that day. So sometime between now and Saturday when my current menu "expires", I have to do that and plan the grocery trip. And search all the ads. And print all the coupons. It'll get done.

My house is constantly untidy. Ok, ok, it's a mess. I see things I need to get done. It took me almost a week and a half to get my bathroom cleaned from when I originally said it needed to be done. And it still isn't done. I need to sweep, mop and clean the tub. The shower is mostly clean. There are parts that are hard for me to reach so hubby has to clean those. Good luck with that. My poor kitchen floors. We won't go there. The next part of handing off the chores is the laundry. I need to teach the big girl how to do that. And put laundry baskets in the kids' rooms so I can stop hollerin' about the laundry not being in the hamper. My list gets longer and longer.

And when do I get me time? And when do I get hubby time? I have to be wife/mother/lover/friend/teacher/chef/chauffer/maid/housekeeper/woman and how many more hats can I wear at one time. None, really. Too much hair. I want a big, floppy, straw, beach hat. I can just put the labels around the brim. Hubby must think I've forgotten his name. Hell, half the time I can't remember my own name. So, in answer to the original question, I don't do it all. I do what I can in a day and hope I don't forget the important stuff, like telling my family I love them. I may not be Super Woman, but I am a great gal!   

Uncontrolled

I'm sitting here with Godsmack's "Whatever" BLARING through my headphones. I am a rocker chick at heart. I love screaming guitars and a heavy bass line. Rock drummers are super sexy. Oh. So. Yummy. You ever listen to Godsmack? So speaking to me right now. I'm doing the best I ever did. I'm doing the best I can. I'm doing the best I ever did. Now go away. Here I go getting off topic again. Well, kinda.

Great lunch today. We had a potluck and lots of new families showed up. I tried to introduce myself to all the new people. One lady came, ate with her boys, then took her fruit and left. I had been working my way over to her, but stopped to speak to a couple of people. I felt bad about that. We pride ourselves on welcoming people to our group. Hopefully, she'll come back and give us another shot at making her feel welcome.

Lots of friends we hadn't seen in awhile. Love seeing them again and spending some time. My friend C asked me a question. Was I content about not moving to Texas and all that entailed? Content was an interesting choice of words. Truth is, I am. I can't change it. I can whine and pout and throw a fit, but it won't do any good. It might work out some frustrations. This was not the opportunity for us. Whatever God has planned for us is happening here. For now. The doors would have opened for us. I can't control the situation any more than I can control myself. That's what it's about really. Control.

I have had to let go of more control in the last five years than I thought possible. Sometimes it feels really good. Sometimes it makes my flesh scream. But, I gotta. I still have a great amount of control in several areas. I am very vocal about the fact that I like to fold my own clothes and hang them up. I like it done a certain way. It's just easier for me to do it than to redo it after someone else has folded it. And everybody would rather let me do it because it's less they have to fold. Except my socks. I refuse to match any more socks including my own. I like to load the dishwasher, but not unload. I'm picky about how the dishes go in. I cannot watch other people load their dishwashers. I just want to go behind them and reload it. It's like a jigsaw puzzle. It all fits a certain way. Ok, so maybe my OCD is a little worse than I let on.

I also had to learn the fine art of compromise. That was not something I knew much about before. I used to be really hard to live with. Now, I'm pretty easy going. Unless I have to tell you three times to do something. Then I'm swatting your ass to get you to move. I have had to learn the fine art of seperating teacher from mom, but even that is tenuous at best. They do crossover and intermingle. It's not always easy and I am not always good at it. I have to take a deep breath because someone is defying me. But they really aren't, and isn't that more the point? I have to make myself stop and listen. We do have some rules that are unbreakable, but not many. I started small, like not having to do all 25 questions when you can show my in five or ten that you understand the concept. I have worked my way up to bigger things. I am learning how to give up control.

I see the relationships of hubby's brothers' marriages and I don't get it. The things that they say to each other just baffles my mind. Then again, it isn't my marriage. As easy as it is to stand and be indignant about something, I don't have a clue as what the real dynamic is. I don't live with them, thankfully. I called hubby the other day to talk me off the ledge, as my friend M would say. I was upset about something I have no control over. If I were her, I would... If I were him, I would tell her... I didn't, and still don't, have the full story. I only had one small snippet. I don't want the full story. My flesh does. But it isn't my business. It doesn't and shouldn't matter to me at all. I can't control what they do and say. I sure can't control myself half the time. If the world only thought the way I did, what a great world it would be. Or even more warped than it is already.

It has taken me a long time to be content. I am content with where life has led me and where it may lead. I am content about being here, with my friends, with my family, with my life. Do I wish I was in Texas with my family? Yes. Does that mean that I wish the job had worked out? Yes. But it was not to be. Yet. I am content with loving and being loved. I'm still working on that control thing. I'm doing the best I can. I'm doing the best I ever did. 

Bitchy or Just Bitchin'?

I do not have a clue. Sometimes I just want to tell myself to shut the hell up. Then sometimes I'm high fiving myself. Either way, buckle up, 'cause here we go. I hope you're wearing tall boots. But not the great leather pair, just some regular gardening or wading type. See, there I go again.

• I have church issues and we all know it. I shouldn't judge lest I be judged. (Cricket, cricket, cricket) I belong to a Facebook group that is homeschoolers in the county I live in. There is one lady on there that posts some of the stupidest stuff. I don't know her, I have never met her, but there's a chance I will meet her Friday. Please pray that I will not slap the shit out of her. There is always the distinct possibility. She was looking for a church in the area. This is a small county, but we have some decent size churches. Her family does much better in a megachurch environment. Compensating for something? I don't know. Is that like the bigger the truck, the smaller a man's penis is? Just asking the question. I guess some people like that environment. Then she said she didn't mean to offend, but their family would like a megachurch that didn't have a female pastor. I think the reason this rubbed me the wrong way is that our former associate pastor, who is a very good friend, is female. I will tell you that she can out preach any man I have ever heard. The woman can be in leadership, just not a pastor. Ouch!! I wonder if this woman wears pants. 
• I have been unpacking boxes. I unpack a box every other day or so. I have a huge pile to give away and whatever doesn't go, goes to the thrift store. I could save all this stuff for a yard sale, but I just do not have it in me to hang on to it. I finally got to the box that had all our movies in them. I am giving away anything that is on VHS. I just do not want to hang on to them anymore. We have VCRs, I just do not want the movies taking up the space. I emptied four boxes, divided clothes into a giveaway pile for a friend of a friend and just give away. I organized some books and curriculum in to high school and middle school and elementary. Anything elementary that the baby isn't going to use goes the way of the give away or trash pile. Everything has got to go that doesn't need to stay. The next box is my shoe box. Not alot going in the trash pile there, let me tell you what.     
• We changed pick up libraries. I took the kids to a different library than we normally go to. They were giving away a Nook since the library has started loaning e-books. The nice volunteer that checked out my books for me saw a note that our regular library put on our accounts about not waiving fines unless you talk to the head librarian or her bitchy crony. That was an interesting discussion about the women at our regular library. Apparently, I am not the first or last to have problems with that library. I am one among many. Almost makes me feel slutty. I tried to change the info on my account online. You can't do it. I had to go to the library. The lady that changed it is one of three I will deal with or talk to. She was very sad. So was I looking at her. I almost changed my mind. But the new library is much closer and I like the people.
• I have a friend that is a little upset with me that I don't have time in our schedule for a play date with our boys. Sometimes it be's that way, to quote Pink. It's not that our extras are many, they are just at funky times. 3:30 and 4 in the afternoon, 10 in the mornng. It is what it is and I'm not changing a schedule that took me forever to straighten out. There's always Friday at the park. We do have one day during the week that we have nothing scheduled. I'm leaving it that way, too. If I have the time or inclination that day, I'll call you. I purposely left that day open for some much needed down time. I cannot make everyone happy, but I can make me happy.
• My big girl has started wearing foundation. OMG. It was a hard decision for hubby and me. That is just one more step closer to growing up. She's too pretty for that stuff. But didn't our parents tell us the same thing? Hubby tells me that all the time. I love that blind man. You should have seen her with her face all done. SHIT!! It's ok, though. Hubby and I own guns. And we are not afraid to use them.

There's the run down. I know there was more, but I didn't write it down. I am, however, going to go download some songs I've been jotting down. See ya' on the flip side!

I'm Still Doin' It

I am oh, so tired, but my mind is racing 800 miles an hour and I will not sleep until I empty the brain a little. I know it's been awhile and I apologize. It just seems like so much is going on, and we haven't even gotten busy yet. I'm still licking some wounds, trying to get over myself, and take care of everyone else all at the same time. Sometimes I have to kick myself and remember that this life, as much as I want it to be, is not about me and what I want. Enough of that and on with the brain emptying...

• Loved, loved, loved going to Texas. We were there for five weeks. I think with all that time spread in front of me, I got complacent about spending time with family and friends. As much as I enjoyed the time I did get to spend, I missed a few opportunities. Spilled milk now. I got to spend some time with my high school/blogger friend that I really enjoyed. Loved the conversations and the sharing of stories. I got to spend time with my childhood best friend and her son. How stinkin' cute is he? I got to spend time with my beautiful nieces. There is never enough time for that. I would not trade that time for anything.
• Love, love, love being home. I missed hubby something awful. When I am away from home, the best thing in the world is coming home and sleeping in my own bed, surrounded by my own things. 
• I did get to share some of my hippie ways with my family. I tried not to step on too many toes. My kids weren't allowed to have certain things and I took a little flack. I got a little frustrated when I got argued with. My response at one time was "I can go down the list of ingredients and tell you about the horrible effects each one has on your body." Big Sis took us to a health food store. My kids and I took a deep breath and felt so at home. Big Sis and my nieces said "What's that smell?" I laughed. That is the smell of health and wellness. Too funny. Should have heard my kids giving the run down when one of my nieces would say "What's this?" My kids would start explaining. I just smiled. Little health nuts.
• Back into the grind we are. School started, extras starting soon, more extras being planned. Why? Because sometimes I cannot leave well enough alone, that's why.
• We had a very productive youth council meeting the other Sunday. It was eval time for our youth director. The youth council sat down with our senior pastor to do the eval. We tried not to make it Bitch Fest 2011. We gave examples when a topic would come up so we weren't just nagging old biddies. I have to say that it felt good to get it off our chests. And, on a bright note, he seems to have opened up to us a little more. Communication is the key. That's all we've been wanting. And the same respect he's been asking for. You gotta give to get.
• I have filled up my request list from the library. I've filled it three times since we've been back and we've only been back for three weeks. You should see the pile of books I have. I am reading Betty White's If You Ask Me (And You Probably Won't). Funny!! Next is a book about military wives at Fort Hood, Texas and life while their husbands are gone called You Know When the Men Are Gone. Then on to Dean Koontz's Frankenstein. I've been wanting to read that for quite some time and the request line at the library finally got short enough for me to request it. If you can't find a book at the library, I probably have it.
• I was looking through some old blogs and found this recipe. I am so doing this one again. I am making stock tomorrow just so I have some to use. I'm thinking Wednesday. I even have fresh limes, just picked today. I am also thinking about making a sweet potato pie. I have lots of sweet potatoes and I like pie, so there you go. Coming over? Bring some beer.

There you go. I think my tank is drained enough I can sleep, thank goodness! I'm gonna go snuggle next to my snoring hubby and go to dreamland. I spend enough time in lala land. Time for a change of scenery. Peace!