The holidays are coming up. I get so needy at the holidays. I miss my family terribly. Hubby's family drives me crazy. And I get all holiday wonky. Poor hubby has to deal with me and I know he rolls his eyes at me behind my back. It's ok. He has that right. I can be quite the drama queen. Shocking, I know.
This year I am striving to be better and not let shit get to me. Usually I wallow in it. I roll and roll until I am covered head to toe in misery and hurt and rejection. I sink down in a deep depression that engulfs me and chokes me and won't let me breathe. I am a pain in the ass. I am a bitch. And I don't want to be that way this year.
I will take a few minutes to feel sorry for myself a little. I am sad that we will not be spending this Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family. I am sad that my nieces won't be having a New Year's Eve sleepover at my house, gorging themsleves on finger foods and sparkling grape juice. I am sad we weren't there for my niece's Halloween themed birthday party. Or my niece's 15th birthday coming up.
This year I am going to be thankful for the time I have had with my family. This year I will look forward to the time I get to spend with them in the future. I will be grateful for small favors. I will not pitch a fit over stupid people and stupid things. I will not act like aforementioned stupid people. I promise.
And if I do get caught up in all the drama, I promise to blog about it.
1 comment:
I finally realized that I can't control anybody. All I can do is focus on MY family. I love you and wish you guys could be here to celebrate all the wonderful things coming up.
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