Over and Done

I fucking hate the holidays. Ok. I'm going to rant, you're going to sit down and read, and we'll both feel better when this is over. Big Sis and I have had long, involved discussions about how messed up people are, but bring on the holidays and stupid rules the roost. There is no room for feelings in this war called "The Holidays". Guess what? I'm not playing. Big Sis and I believe that all families are dysfunctional, some are just more functional. We are highly functioning dysfunctionals. My in laws, well, that's another story. And guess what, that's what you get to hear now.

The back story to this is that this has been going on for at least the last six years or so. And it has never resolved itself. I could point fingers, but when you do that, you have three pointing back at you. I have accepted responsibility for the things that I have said and done by apologizing. Apparently, though, I'm the only one that sees that every situation has two sides.

My BIL, who is hubby's brother, and his wife, my SIL, don't like that I'm opinionated. Big Sis very eloquently said, "We all have opinions. We're all opinionated. Some are just louder at expressing those opinions." Good grief, I love her. My MIL doesn't like that, in my mind, I'm never wrong. I'm not stupid either. I do the research before I open my mouth. But the kicker here is that I'm both of those. I have an opinion because I have a brain. And I don't just let my brain rot. I read, I watch TV, I try to keep up with technology and what's going on in the world. Most of the time, my opinion is better anyway. But if I have ever hurt you with my words, if you let me know, I will apologize. It is not always my intention to hurt you. I have humbled myself several times with family and close friends.

Our original plan was to spend Thanksgiving at home and over to my M and FIL's on Saturday, after everyone else had been there Thursday. Now we aren't going at all. We probably won't be spending Christmas there either. Or any other holiday. My MIL, after saying that she wasn't getting in the middle and didn't want to be in the middle, told my SIL that I ranted and raved after they left on Halloween. I did rant and rave. And I'll be more than happy to do it again to my SIL. She did this after saying she didn't want to hear either one of us talking about each other. She didn't want to be in the middle. She isn't in the middle. She clearly chose a side. But I expected that.

Apparently my SIL and MIL talk almost every day. I don't know about what, but I can imagine. I'm glad that they have a great relationship, but there has been no effort for that to run this way as well. My MIL had made a snippy comment about me never calling. Don't worry. I don't call anyone. But, just so you know, the phone lines run both ways. I know this because my husband works for the phone company. She also has complained that we don't get over there enough. Um, see, the roads? They're the same as the phone lines. They run both ways, too. What. Ever.

Done. So, so done. I no longer feel comfortable in their home. I will not be attending family functions and we don't know when the kids will get to see them. Hopefully soon, but I won't be dropping them off. And, again, it's all my fault for breaking up the family. Hubby asked if she was going to blame me as well. Hubby asked her if I was the only one involved in the trash talk and all the uncomfortable get togethers. She did admit that, no, I wasn't the only one. Boy that was close. Then my sweet, sweet hubby said, "I wish you knew Cristy like I know Cristy. I wish you knew the real woman. I wish you knew how she really is."

We've amputated. Right now it hurts like hell. The wounds are fresh. Soon we'll move forward, when it's time to heal. I know hubby is hurting. This is his family, after all. We have always said it was us against the world. His father said "forsaking all others". We need to. It's way past time.