Stupid People Piss Me Off

I should probably just shut up, but good luck with that. I posted on my social site that my mantra for the season is "You're argument is invalid because you're stupid". Yea, I say and think that A LOT! For example:

Mt friend KS posted a pic of a shirt that poked fun of the whole end of the world thing. The last line said that Mayans were extinct. Honey, it was on from there. One of her "friends" posted that the Mayans were not extinct, as she was one of them. Um, ok it was a joke. She went on and on. She posted links. People made fun of her. People tried to tell her it was just a joke. And she was adamant that Mayans still existed because she was one of them. She was mixed, but still Mayan. Somehow, corn got brought into the conversation. I offered to bring popcorn to the show because it was getting good. That was soooo the right thing to do. Over 100 comments later, she apologized for hijacking the post and we all went on with our lives. Can we not take life so seriously? Life will get serious when we least expect it. Chill. And stop being stupid.

My hopefully soon-to-be-ex SIL is as stupid as they come. I have known that since the beginning, but it took years for everyone else to catch up. She is dating. Although the divorce is not final yet, she has a new man. Her husband's best friend. Also, he is the soon-to-be-ex husband of her now former best friend. Ow, I think my head hurts. She has turned her kids against their father by having him come get his stuff, including the dog, then telling the kids that he just came and got the stuff that meant something to them because he's mean. She will get hers one day. Wish I could be there. There is a special place in hell for people that manipulate their children. Stupid ass.  

During a conversation that hubby was having with the aforementioned brother, the brother asked if we were going to be at the parents' house for Christmas. Really?!? Not so much, but thanks for asking. Even MIL asked hubby if we were going to be there. How about I would rather get my foot caught in a bear trap and gnaw my own foot off to get out of it? Hubby politely (because he's so much better than I am. Really, he is. I would have laughed out loud and said something HUGELY inappropriate and stupid) told both of them no, but thank you. The stress of the last holiday season and all of the hard feelings that are still there need to be reconciled before we can even think about spending what should be a joyous time together.

People are jumping on the gun control band wagon. I guess if you're going to jump on a band wagon, you might as well play drums. Play it loud enough, people won't be able to hear reason. We don't need more gun control. We need to stop giving the spotlight to people that shoot up malls and schools and movie theaters and whatever else. Report the news, give some FACTS, then let it go. Too many want to be famous and will go out like that if they have to. Too many see the reports and decide, in their delusional fog, that that seems like a great way to go. Guns didn't go into that school and pull their triggers. A man who had serious mental problems did that. And it doesn't matter that I don't need an assault weapon to hunt with. They aren't made for that. They're made for assaulting, stupid. Good thing that's correct grammar or this blog could be taken the wrong way. It's not about the guns, it's about the people that use them for stupid things.

Can we talk about how the holidays brings out the stupid in people? You've dealt with it. Hell, we've all been stupid at the holidays. My kids get 1 present from each set of grandparents, 2 from hubby and me, and 1 from Santa. Nothing over the top. Nothing that costs more than about $30. Maybe $40, depending on how good Santa is to them. He has lots of overhead, you know, with all those elves. I cannot even imagine what it costs to feed those reindeer.

We've all been stupid. Hell, I'm there every day. Stupid is as stupid does. I just try to remove myself before it gets filmed. I could talk about how stupid that is, but that is a whole blog in and of itself.

Low key this year for us. I miss my mom. Time doesn't make it better. That's just stupid. It just makes it easier to pretend it didn't happen. Grief is something else, I'll tell you what. Enjoy your holidays. Hug your kids. Spend time having fun and making memories that bring warmth to the heart. That is NEVER stupid.

Shhhhhh...

I'm still here. It's the holidays and I need some quiet time. Give me a bit and I'll be back.

I Got nothin', Well, a Little Something...

I need to blog, but I just don't know what to blog about. Even my list is boring. There's some political stuff (I canNOT believe that we have to relive all this crap for another 4 years. Really, people? He fucked us the first 4 years with no kiss, and here we go again. If this keeps up, I'm going on the dole. Then the bitches can pay for me!), some school stuff (I have ideas for field trips, it's just getting off my tuckus to make some calls and get it done.), some family stuff (we really are pretty boring. Good grief!), and some random stuff (cricket, cricket, cricket).

I just want to write. I have tons of stuff to keep me occupied, but I'm done with being occupied. I have all these characters and story lines. Sometimes the characters won't get out of my head until I write them down. I started a notebook to put them in. That way I don't lose track and I can get them out of my head. November is write a page a day month or write 1000 words a day or some kind of writer's month. It was also blog every day month, but that didn't happen either. I also haven't had much time for me. We were sick and now we have to play catch up. I know where we need to be by the time we break for Christmas, and by gosh, by golly, we're going to be there. But that cramps my writing time.

I just bought a Ninja. Not the dress in black, Japanese bad ass Ninja, although that would be cool. The food processing, smoothie making, and in this case, dough making Ninja. I don't plan on making a lot of dough and I have a big stand mixer for that anyway. I do like some homemade pretzels, the soft kind with all the salt and a little bit of mustard. Crackers are fun and tasty. They don't last, but they are good. I'm hoping for smoothies that will boost my energy. Hubby is excited about that, too. I have a friend that loves hers. It's my Christmas present, but I'm opening that bad boy today. Look, a spark of interest.

I have to take a nap EVERY DAY. I am old. It gets to be about 2 o'clock and my eyes just want to slam shut. Not good when you're driving, but it keeps me on my toes. It's that whole depression thing. The holidays normally suck for me because I can't be with my family. This year is super sucky. A cave to hide in until it's over would be much appreciated. We finally got the Christmas stuff out, but it took us another 3-4 days to open the tubs and get it done. The tree that I put in our room didn't get decorated for another couple of days. Depression is for the birds.

I think it would have been amazing to win the powerball. Can you imagine the size of the shoe room I would build? Can you imagine the shoes I could buy to fill that bad boy up? Amazing!! I think a Hawaiian/European vacation would be in order. I want to go to Hawaii, Fiji, Tahiti, Tonga, Germany, Italy, Spain, Portugal, England, Ireland, Scotland, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, and I know some of those aren't in Hawaii/Europe, but if I'm planning a vacation, I am going to plan a VACATION!! And somewhere in there I may help some of the poor people, because I'm nice like that.

Reality television is the downfall of our society. Multiple wives, rich housewives that have no idea about the real world, redneck beauty queens, redneck Muslims (what the hell?), and now Amish that "keep the peace" in their towns. Shut up!! Go back into the backwards hole you crawled out of. We need to take our television programming back. There is no way Sugar Woowoo should be such a huge hit. It's the train wreck mentality. It's happening and is so gross you can't look away. Yeah, yeah I can. I just don't watch.

See, it wasn't much, but it was a little something. I'm going to make some oatmeal and get my day going. And bonus, I feel a little better. I love it when that happens!     

Death Sucks

I interrupt this season of thankfulness to rid myself of angst. I am going to be as real as I can because I need to be. Death sucks ass. I don't mean for the ones who died, I mean for the ones left behind. I do believe that I will go to Heaven when I die, but this blog isn't about my spiritual side. I firmly believe that a relationship with Jesus Christ is how you get to Heaven. I firmly believe that many of my relatives had that and I will see them again. This blog is about my physical side. The one that got left behind and now has what feels like a big rock sitting in my heart. The one that is this close to tears every day, just waiting for that one thing to set me off. The side that prays when I do go off, people won't look at me like I've lost my mind.

The grief is overwhelming at times. It just swamps me, like a tidal wave. Have you ever been sucked down by a wave? I have. The summer I was 10 we went to Hawaii. My cousins taught me to body surf. They also said not to get too comfortable on the wave. I did, and it sucked me down. Straight down. I had no idea which way was up or which way was down. I couldn't see anything but churning water and sand, and none of it clearly. I tumbled and bumbled and I didn't know how to get out of the wave. When I thought I my lungs would explode, the wave spit me out. I skidded up the beach, sand scraping me, reminding me not to get too comfortable again. That's how grief is. It sucks you in and you can't breathe because of it. Then, when you can't catch your breath, it spits you out onto the beach and scrapes you and makes you raw and buries itself in places you didn't even know you had.

I hate it. I hate that my mom is gone. I hate that my kids didn't have more time with her. I hate that it's Thanksgiving and I can't call her to talk about our meal. I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT!!

I have several friends that have recently lost loved ones. Fathers, grandmothers, great aunts that were like grandmothers, and a son. We all grieve differently. For me, I feel like if I start, I may not stop. Some days I just want a quiet house, a bubble bath, and some serious crying time. I need to purge, but I don't do that well with other people. Truth be told, even though I have cried in front of and with my children, I'm scared if they see me like that, it would scare them. My heart aches for my friends and what they must be feeling. I wish that they never had to go through this.

Being human, I know that what we miss is the physical. We miss the voice and the touches. I miss the sly remarks and the twinkle of trouble in my mom's eye. I miss her laugh. I miss her hugs. I miss her. This side of me wants her back! This side of me wants to kick Mom's doctors in the ass. This side of me wants everyone to shut up about how she's in a better place. I know she is, that isn't the problem. The problem is that I don't want her there. I want her here! But I know I can't have her here.

I am thankful for my blessings. I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband, loving children, and a nice home. I'm thankful that we will have a special meal together that was prepared by all the hands in this home. I am thankful. But, I have this other side...  

Suzy Freakin' Homemaker

That bitch pisses me off. Happy all the time, making people smile, creating things with the wave of her magic wand. Wait, maybe that's a fairy godmother. Anyway, I think I'm turning in to her. I think I already did.

I was going through the Thanksgiving menu, trying to figure what we needed, what I wanted, where the hell am I going to put it all. Then there was the great coupon hunt for groceries. I pulled all the recipes I'll be using. I planned for the homemade stuff. Well, here we go.

My niece and nephew are coming over for a few days during the Thanksgiving break. I figure sandwiches are cheap. I did pick up some bread that's not nearly as healthy for you as what we normally buy, but I didn't want to freak them out too much. I did make mayo. It is so easy. A little egg yolk, some mustard and a dash of salt. Mix that together then start adding oil. I used a combo of walnut and olive. So stinking good. I'm buying good for you lunchmeat because the nitrates/nitrites in lunchmeat will kill you. Literally. I'm balancing not so good healthy bread with great for you other stuff. Hello, Suzy.

Well, since you only use yolks for mayo, I had 6 whites staring at me, and I don't mean the kiddos. So I made meringue cookies. All you need for that is egg whites and sugar. There is another recipe that adds vinegar and chopped nuts. I didn't use that one, but I did add cocoa powder to make chocolate cookies. And I used sugar. And I ate about 6 of them. They are so good. I'm paying for it today. The kids would have eaten them all yesterday if I had let them. Hubby, too, when he came home. Suzy strikes again.

I'm making cream of mushroom soup. We're having broccoli rice casserole. You have to have cream of something soup and cheese. I planned out when I need to have it done, how much I need, and how much I'm going to make because it will be dinner one night. Probably Tuesday or Thursday. Score one for Suzy.

The kids have decided they want to help make desserts for our meal. The baby wants to make a chocolate pie. So what did I find yesterday? A chocolate pie recipe. My niece will help if she wants, but poor thing won't get to eat any. It's for our Thanksgiving meal and she won't be here for that. The big girl is going over the IL's to learn how to make an apple pie. She won't get to eat it until our meal. Hubby brought home a recipe and we're swapping out the yuck for better for you. Oh, Suzy, look at you go.

The boy is making a pumpkin pie. I have a schedule for that, too. I have to process pumpkins for that. I have 3 pie pumpkins sitting on my counter. They'll get processed on Monday morning. By Monday afternoon, I'm hoping to make pumpkin cookies with all the kids. They'll get to eat those, thankfully. I don't have Thanksgiving cookie cutters, but I do have Christmas, so that's what we'll use. Suzy seems to be slipping just a little.

The turkey has to get brined. Have you ever brined your turkey? It makes it tender and juicy and you almost can't screw it up from there. That gets done late Monday evening. Wednesday that bad boy comes out and gets rinsed off and is ready for cooking. We stuff our turkey. Yeah, I do everything but bake the bread and grow the veggies. Well, some of the veggies. I use ciabatta bread. So lovely. Suzy is back at it.

I'm making veggie stock on Sunday. I need stock for the stuffing, broccoli rice casserole, brussel sprouts, and gravy. By Friday, I'll be making turkey stock. Suzy may need comfy shoes.

Cranberry sauce. I fogot to add cranberry sauce to the mix. If you have never made your own, you should try it. Super simple, super easy. I can do that the night before and it'll be nice and set come meal time. If I don't eat it all before then. I may have to redo my schedule. Suzy officially deserves a massage.

I'm not bragging, I promise. I'm just trying to get things right in my head. Why do I do this to myself? Because I'm Suzy Homemaker and I love it. I never knew I would. I was always too independent to be tied to the kitchen. Really, it's one of my favorite places to be. I'm a throwback, I guess. It's hard to do all this with the amount of time we're gone, but it's worth it in the end. I can't imagine doing it any other way. I love the comments: You're home all day. You have time to do that. Guess again. My friends say:You're never home. When do you have time to do that? Because I'm Suzy Freakin' Homemaker and that's what I do.

      

Season of Suck Ass

It's the holiday season!! Fucking great. I hate the holidays. Actually, I hate what comes along with the holidays. Families pulling this way and that way. Look at me, no look over here. Jealousy and trying to keep up with the rest of the world. Screw that. After the heated discussions of the last holiday season, I can say I had the best Thanksgiving and Christmas in many years last year. This year will suck all over again.

Bis Sis said she is going to miss Mermie. Oh my God, me, too. She said they used to plan their menu together. Us, too. We would talk on the phone for at least an hour talking about what sounded good this year. This is what I'm doing different, these are the standards that we're still having after all these years. For many years, I would make broccoli rice casserole because it reminded me of my mom. We'll have it again this year, but it will be revamped. I wanted to make it for her. She asked me where I got some of my ideas. My Better Homes and Gardens and LOTS of cooking shows.

I loved the Thanksgiving and Christmas phone calls. She didn't really want to talk to me, but she did. Then it was all about her babies. She would always send a check for Christmas. It's easier than sending gifts, and I could get the kids what they wanted. The best gifts always came from Mermie and Uncle Jesse and Mamaw and Papaw. It's just the right thing to do. She would ask what she got them and I would tell her. Then she would ask the kids how they liked it. Too funny. She was always flumoxed about what to get the boy. With 6 granddaughters, a grandson threw her for a loop. That always made me giggle.

We did get to spend a Thanksgiving with her a few years ago. I kind of took over the kitchen. I couldn't help it. It's what I do. It was a fantastic holiday. The kids got to spend great time with her. There was no drama. There was no stress. There was just family eating great food and being thankful for being together. There was way too much turkey and pie eaten and it was wonderful.

I know the firsts are always hardest. It doesn't really get any easier. It just gets easier to pretend you're too busy to think about it. Make sense? I know if my mom were here, she would tease me about being Suzy Homemaker. I know she would ask me how I make my pomegranate compote. I would tell her to quit eating that crappy cranberry sauce in a can and make her own. It is so good. We would both have broccoli rice casserole, but mine would have brown rice and homemade cream of mushroom. We would both eat too much and complain about it while we ate leftovers. She would spoil my kids something awful and I would let her. I would wish I was in her beautiful kitchen and so would she!

Have a great holiday season. Pardon me if I don't perticipate like I want to. I just can't. There will be joy this season. There will be no drama on our part. There will be too much food and full, full, bellies and hearts. There will be some sadness and some tears. There will be a wish on my part. Oh, how I wish, I wish, I wish...

   

Move It or Lose it

This blog started a different way. It started as a random blog. I have so many voices thoughts in my head, it's nice to have an outlet. Then as I started writing, I saw a pattern. Well, let's get on with it.

I am having the best time in dance class. THIS is the type of class I have been wanting. This is hip hop, baby, and it's amazing!! I always say that as much as I love tap, tap is about form and structure. Balance is definitely required. It's very musical. Ballet is super structured. Form is critical in ballet. Even jazz has form and structure and rules. Hip hop, though, is about moving your body. You don't have to place your feet a certain way, keep your back straight, balance and shift your weight. Well, you do, but not so precisely. I learned to dance watching Soul Train. My favorite part of any club was the dance floor. I had a DJ stop the music and tell people they weren't allowed on a lifeguard stand while I was there. I've been offered jobs at clubs to dance. At one point, when hip hop started to get big and videos were king, I thought about going to LA and dancing in videos. Yeah, then there's that fear thing that grabbed me by the throat and threw me to the ground. Damn fear. It may take me a little longer to get the step now, and my body may hurt a little more when I get home, but you couldn't pry the smile off my face with a crow bar. Loving!! It!!

Yoga this morning was very humbling. For about three weeks, I've been getting up early to do yoga. I've been having some hip issues. It's almost like my left hip wasn't quite sitting in the pocket. It could get pretty painful. I also noticed during some of our stretches in dance I couldn't sit cross legged and get my left knee to the floor. It stunk. Lots of stretching has helped that. I still can't quite get my knee down, but it's better than it was. My right bicep, well that's another story. About 2 years ago, I started to notice that I was having range of motion issues in my right bicep. Not strength, just range of motion. The cure, believe it or not, was Just Dance 2. Then Just Dance 3. And, always, yoga. Then things went kablooey when my mom got really sick, then when she passed. I've been in a funk since and haven't done either of those for a while. And my range issues are back. They were very evident this morning during yoga. And it kicked my ass. It was all arms and upper body this morning. Some of the positions I couldn't get to. What?!? Which brings me to my next point.

I have gone as far as I can with diet alone. I was doing great with dance class and dancing, but then dance was over for the summer. We didn't get to do summer classes for obvious reasons. And really, I was depressed. I've lost 45 pounds, but now it's time to start toning it up. Truth be told, it's time to start taking care of myself again. It's time to shake off the funk and get back to my life. Big Sis gets cranky when she doesn't work out. It's been a part of her life for so long. That's how I feel about dance and yoga. I think that's why my hip shifted. I think that's why I started having bicep issues again. I think that's why my funk has lasted so long.  

It's time to get off my ass. It's time to get moving. It's time to get funky, but in a different way. It's time to tone this flab up. It's time to feel leaner and taller and stronger, which is what dance and yoga make me feel like. Besides, I gave away all my fat clothes and bought new, slimmer clothes. I am NOT cleaning out my closet again. Hubby would kill me. Not really, but he'd be kinda mad about the money. So would I, truth be told. I'm moving it and I'm going to lose it. My issues, I mean. The rest is just a bonus!